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    <title>What Are We? Where Are We? – Charles Foster</title>
    <dc:date>2026-05-31T21:59:18+00:00</dc:date>
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    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Contemplating the age-old question of what it means to be human, Charles Foster contends that we are most fundamentally ourselves at the edges of certainty and comfort."]]></description>
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    <title>Children need stress and discomfort in order to grow up | Aeon Essays</title>
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<item rdf:about="https://social.ayjay.org/2026/03/30/bertrand-russell-modern-technic-has.html">
    <title>Bertrand Russell (1932) - Alan Jacobs</title>
    <dc:date>2026-03-31T08:06:35+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://social.ayjay.org/2026/03/30/bertrand-russell-modern-technic-has.html</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Modern technic has made it possible to diminish enormously the amount of labor necessary to produce the necessaries of life for every one. This was made obvious during the [Great] War. At that time all the men in the armed forces, all the men and women engaged in the production of munitions, all the men and women engaged in spying, war propaganda, or government offices connected with the War were withdrawn from productive occupations. In spite of this, the general level of physical well-being among wage-earners on the side of the Allies was higher than before or since. The significance of this fact was concealed by finance; borrowing made it appear as if the future was nourishing the present. But that, of course, would have been impossible; a man cannot eat a loaf of bread that does not yet exist. The War showed conclusively that by the scientific organization of production it is possible to keep modern populations in fair comfort on a small part of the working capacity of the modern world. If at the end of the War the scientific organization which had been created in order to liberate men for fighting and munition work had been preserved, and the hours of work had been cut down to four, all would have been well. Instead of that, the old chaos was restored, those whose work was demanded were made to work long hours, and the rest were left to starve as unemployed. Why? Because work is a duty, and a man should not receive wages in proportion to what he has produced, but in proportion to his virtue as exemplified by his industry.

This is the morality of the Slave State, applied in circumstances totally unlike those in which it arose. No wonder the result has been disastrous."

[from "In Praise of Idleness":
https://harpers.org/archive/1932/10/in-praise-of-idleness/ ]]]></description>
<dc:subject>bertrandrussell 1932 technic labor war morality productivity production wwi ww1 comfort work workers</dc:subject>
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<item rdf:about="https://om.co/2026/02/09/conveniencing-ourselves-to-irrelevance/">
    <title>Conveniencing Ourselves to Irrelevance – On my Om</title>
    <dc:date>2026-02-16T01:09:42+00:00</dc:date>
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<item rdf:about="https://chrishedges.substack.com/p/decolonizing-the-world-w-amin-husain">
    <title>Decolonizing The World (with Amin Husain) | The Chris Hedges Report</title>
    <dc:date>2026-01-22T06:45:08+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://chrishedges.substack.com/p/decolonizing-the-world-w-amin-husain</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Amin Husain

I was blocked in 2020. Yeah, a lot of these things that we’re seeing now… I was under investigation in 2019, federal investigation, and didn’t find out until 2020 through Google. Google was saying it was sharing my information for a whole year with the federal government. Taking people’s phones at the airport, the kind of Islamic character, terrorist financier, these kind of things.

These categories, the RICO charges against Stop Cop City was a prelude also to these kinds of things. All of that is in the package right now of the [NSPM-7] memo from this Trump administration. So, I mean, they’re treating our existence, if you refuse or question, as counterinsurgency. But we haven’t thought of ourselves as insurgents.

And I think we all, and it’s not about what we do, it’s about how we think about what we’re doing, right? And the example I always give is like, I took out some student loans, right? I was working at the law firm and realized that it will take me a really long time before I can pay them. At some point, I stopped paying them. They said I’m in default. And I thought to myself, I’m on strike.

These modes of consciousness, of liberation consciousness, something that we cultivate over time, it’s how people in Palestine are able to survive until now. It’s not out of victimization and victimhood. It’s about a recognition of they have a whole way of valuing things differently. When we’re in movements, we feel that way. When we’re not together, we don’t. We’re in a moment right now where we’re bombarded by all sorts of information.

We’re afraid, we’re more isolated, we’re more in debt, they’re more ruthless. And yet we have no choice. And I think this is what’s important. It’s like we have no choice but to resist. And this mode of resistance isn’t about violence. This mode of resistance is about a refusal of having an allegiance to something that’s killing you. Just that.

Wherever we are. From there, space opens up. A different conversation can be had. We’ve had so many movements. We have so much analysis. It’s not about a diagnosis of the problem right now. It’s about how do we build power and how can we sustain it over time. The thing about the United States is most of the ways that we thought about the world is that it’s always insular to the United States.

And Palestine showed us that it can bring us together. It can have a compass for liberation for what’s right and what’s wrong. And these things have influenced what’s going on over here. But to think of Palestine as an issue amongst many is really not where we need to be. There’s a strategic engagement to Palestine that actually has material connections to New York. It has material connections to our wellbeing. It can bring people together. It can clarify what’s going on.

And there’s much that could be done here, but we still are thinking in issue silos and we’re overwhelmed. And the final thing I’ll say just from my, this is just my experience and I don’t know, I mean, I don’t have answers, but these are some of the things that first come to mind is that.

I mean, we went from like defund the police to giving us [former NYC Mayor] Eric Adams. You know, we went from like a million other things that we fought for and it’s always the equivalent of, you’re never going to get what you want. And that means that we’re at a point right now that we have to really think about how our struggles are interconnected.

But in the interconnectedness of our struggles is how we fight back. It doesn’t mean that elections are naught. It means that our trajectory is different. Look at how many people work at a museum. On the front end, they’re all being exploited. On the back end, they have no choice to be creative. At the top are people with money and they mean… MoMA is a great example.

Here’s MoMA, and then here’s a building with luxury condos right next to it, it’s the MoMA building. They sell those apartments with a back door to the museum. They never have to go out on the street. That’s the kind of world we live in. Those same, many of the settlers in the West Bank are coming from Brooklyn. That’s why we were talking about the synagogues and why they’re holding these land sales.

So the connectivity of what’s going on in Palestine to New York or what’s going on in the Middle East to the United States, they’re not separate. And we saw this articulated in Italy, and maybe you can share your experience, but even in the two days general strike that was in October, I think, they connected things that are happening in Palestine, right, the genocide, the ethnic cleansing in Palestine, to the fact that their government is funding and supporting that and their conditions at home are not good.

They have grievances. These kinds of connections are important. They’re important to make. And I think that they’re a basis by which a coalition can come together. And we’re also at a moment similar to Occupy Wall Street or right before. At some level, the right and left, right, is dissolving on the material conditions on the ground. And that’s an opportunity because there’s structures of violence and of oppression of racism, let’s say, and white supremacy.

They’re vertical and horizontal. The ones that we enact on each other are actually created by the system. That’s how it keeps going. But to actually have a systemic understanding of that and be on the ground and create spaces in which people can step out of those “identities” is really important right now. Because I think that everyone agrees they don’t want an authoritarian government here, that the First Amendment is super important, that ICE is fucked up and supporting a genocide is unethical. And we act like an empire, but our condition is worse than ever. Something is not being articulated in a positive way for people.

Chris Hedges

That was why they killed Fred Hampton. He was out in poor, white communities building coalitions based on class, not on race, not that race isn’t important. And that’s dangerous. I think that’s exactly what you’re talking about.

Amin Husain

Yeah.

Chris Hedges

I want to just close by talking about your experience at NYU. One of things that’s been so nauseating for me about these academic institutions is they essentially advertise themselves as generators of diversity. Although it tended to be diversity based on race or ethnicity, not on class.

But nevertheless, and then the moment Trump snarled in their direction, they couldn’t shut it all down fast enough. I, as you know, got a master of divinity from Harvard Divinity School, and Harvard Divinity School had, I think, a pretty good center in terms of building relationships with the Palestinian community, and they closed it. Harvard just shut it down.

And this was what you were attacked, vilified for saying what we now know is true, and that is that there were no beheaded babies. There were no beheaded babies, there’s no evidence of systematic sexual assault on October 7th. You made this case and you lost your job.

So talk a little bit about academia because… and they’ve shut down all the encampments, they’ve criminalized free speech, and these are important centers, I think, both like museums, like I always think of [Antonio] Gramsci, these institutions that replicate ideas. That’s what so much of your work has been confronting. But talk about your own particular case, and then just the wider case of what’s happening within university and college campuses.

Amin Husain

Yeah, I mean my experience at NYU is that I was teaching there for eight years and I taught courses like art, activism and beyond, art and the practice of freedom. Decolonization is not a metaphor and it was always well received, never got a complaint, always oversubscribed. I taught in multiple schools and departments.

And then the treatment was one in which, a few days before I’m supposed to teach, I hear from students before I hear from the university. And I’m under investigation and they wouldn’t even tell me why for the longest time. And then as you said, it was those things, but it was also things that are not in my name, meaning Decolonize This Place has an Instagram account, I was being questioned and interrogated by two lawyers about, you have control over what this account publishes?

Something Meta, by the way, took away the same week that I got suspended and then later fired. It had 400,000 followers, it would reach millions. It was kind of like an influencer account. Again, no recourse there but I was being criminalized for thoughts and ideas that weren’t even part of class, that weren’t even part of… and I’ve had Jewish students in my classes, never complained because universities are supposed to be places of learning and questioning and these kinds of things.

So what’s happening at our universities is really both alarming and not surprising. The influence of money and what people had years ago referred to as the university becoming a corporation. Like they’re taking it seriously. And that’s why you have so many administrators, like a class of administrators that are acting more like cops that line themselves up next to riot police in Columbia and NYU and all these things and raided their students who are paying to go there to get an education.

It’s bonkers. And then you think about NYU and you’re like, well, why is Larry Fink on the board? What does he know about education? You know, because he’s giving money. So then they have a say in what our institutions can do. Okay, so these universities that are supposed to kind of create good people that are well thinkers, that are in part of like the society that we’re imagining as a good society. That’s all not going on right now there.

It’s a form of brainwashing and it’s elevating certain disciplines, like what? Militarism. Data, data computation. Nothing of liberal arts unless you have a trajectory of working for a corporation. These departments around art, liberal arts, these kinds of things, were always low funded. But now they’re going to become extinct.

Chris Hedges

Well, look at The New School. They’re just shutting them down.

Amin Husain

Exactly. This is not, to your point, this is not an isolated thing. This is a transition of an economy with an idea of a future, foreseeing the system that they’re ushering in as people say the empire is falling. They’re not waiting. They’re ushering in something new. And when I look at my condition, I think it was, it was penalizing me, but it was also a deterrence.

It was a deterrence on speech and a deterrence on action, meaning watch what you say and behave. Otherwise you’re never going to get employed anywhere, which, you know, that’s part of it. And it doesn’t stop me from doing this, but I’ve made harder decisions earlier. My kind of thing at the university is that I would sit with students first day and I’d be like, why are you here? This is why I’m here.

You don’t need to buy books. They’re all available. But if you want to support the author and you can, you should, right? Why are we going into debt? What are we learning from this? So the space of learning was one in which we learned together and one in which we learned from each other what’s happening. And I remember something that Baldwin, James Baldwin, said once at the British Museum in a video that is no longer on YouTube because they’re cleansing all that.

But he said something about the enslaved being on ships. He’s like, “The reason they would put their backs to each other and they would make sure they didn’t speak the same language is because if they did, they probably would have known what was happening to them. And they may have figured out something about what to do and the outcome may have been different.”

So I think about what’s happening at our universities and think that there’s a purging that’s going on. There’s a disciplining that’s happening. But also, in the world that I’m imagining, I don’t want to be disciplined by anyone. I mean, people like Fred Moten and Stefano Harney and all of these kinds of thinkers have talked about universities as being precinct, and Jasbir Puar, as being precinct-adjacent. I mean, you got it.

I mean, our students would go in there and they would be afraid about their grade. They didn’t care about each other or the world. The ethics in which they’re promulgating over there is one like you would get at Silicon Valley. It’s one in which you would get… it’s not a world that’s amenable to life and to each other and to different kinds of relationships that are nourishing.

So when I went to Palestine and I told them I got fired and I told them why, and people in Palestine were like “mabrouk!” It’s like, congratulations.

Chris Hedges

Which means congratulations, right?

Amin Husain

And I think if we had community, and community is something that we construct and we construct and struggle, that’s what you would hear. And you wouldn’t feel worthless, right? You wouldn’t feel like you did something wrong. You’d feel like you’ve done something a little, but it’s in the right direction. And that’s what this all is about. There are so many more of us than them.

And there’s so much more thoughtfulness and thinking and love and care than what they have to offer. But they’re converting these museums and these universities and these schools and changing the curriculum. Think about it. You were talking about the Gaza peace plan. First point, de-radicalization, makes sense.

That’s why we don’t learn about this being stolen land or about enslaved people brought over here and built this economy. That’s what Israel is doing or wants to do with a genocide that’s still ongoing as they speak peace.

So I think about my experience at NYU and I think about: here’s a real estate developer that’s taking advantage of no taxes and that’s producing people in debt, right? Producing people in debt, one of the highest institutions to graduate undergraduates with huge amounts of debt is NYU, right? So then what does it mean to be free? We don’t.

This is one thing we would talk about in our class. I mean, freedom is about time, and freedom is about space. Debt is about future labor. And what they’re doing is that they’re taking all, in Arabic, “Muqawamat al-hayat” [essentials of life], all the things that have to do that are life-sustaining — healthcare, housing, these things, these things are now, the prospect of even owning a house is absurd right now.

In fact, the whole economic model with Blackstone and BlackRock is no one’s going to own homes. So then you have this debt, and then they’ll criminalize the debt. And so think about these kinds of relationships. And then you have students going into NYU to learn about freedom while they go into debt. And they graduate having to work with the same people that are oppressing them while their taxes go to pay and fund a genocide. That’s what’s going on.

And that’s not something that feels good. And it’s not something, I’m not happy that I was fired, but I’m happy that I was, that I made the right choice and I didn’t silence myself and people should, everyone has to figure out what’s doable.

But solidarity and your own liberation and fighting and refusal is never comfortable. People have to step out of their comfort right now. And to think that we’re all individually going to save ourselves doesn’t work that way."]]></description>
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    <title>Fauxstalgia: When the Internet Misses a Past That Never Existed</title>
    <dc:date>2025-12-31T07:06:41+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.lifeblogs.org/entertainment/fauxstalgia-when-the-internet-misses-a-past-that-never-existed.html</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["In the age of infinite scroll, nostalgia has become a marketing tool, a mood, and a meme. But the nostalgia flooding our feeds today isn’t about the past — it’s about the idea of it. This phenomenon, often called fauxstalgia, describes a longing for a time we never truly experienced. It’s the yearning for ‘simpler’ eras conjured through TikTok filters, vaporwave aesthetics, and AI-generated memories of 1980s summers we never had.

Fauxstalgia thrives in an internet culture obsessed with reboots, retro filters, and analog vibes. It’s comfort content — emotional escapism packaged as vintage fantasy. But beneath the sepia tones lies a fascinating question: why do we long for the unreal? And what does it mean when the internet manufactures collective memories?

This post explores how fauxstalgia works, who profits from it, and how we can engage with nostalgia consciously — not as a digital dream, but as a mirror for the anxieties of the present.

***

The Rise of Fauxstalgia in Digital Culture

The Internet’s Love Affair with the Past

From 8-bit graphics to lo-fi beats, digital spaces are saturated with simulated nostalgia. Social platforms, particularly TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram, recycle retro aesthetics — VHS filters, film grain, vintage fonts — to evoke emotions of innocence and comfort. These aesthetics aren’t authentic representations of the past; they’re aestheticized versions of it, stripped of complexity and hardship. The “good old days” are reconstructed for emotional impact, not historical accuracy.

Nostalgia Without Memory

Unlike traditional nostalgia, which comes from personal experience, fauxstalgia is borrowed emotion. A Gen Z user might romanticize the 1990s — floppy disks, MTV, mall culture — despite never having lived through it. This secondhand nostalgia is shaped by digital fragments: curated playlists, pixel art, and AI-enhanced footage that makes the past look better than it ever was. It’s a simulation of memory, a synthetic longing that feels real precisely because it’s shared collectively online.

Why We Crave the Simulated Past

Fauxstalgia offers emotional safety in uncertain times. As technology accelerates and the future feels unstable, the past becomes a psychological refuge. Online, nostalgia functions as an escape hatch — a pause button in an overwhelming digital world. But when that nostalgia is artificial, it reveals not our love for history, but our discomfort with the present.

***

Aesthetic Time Travel: The Digital Reconstruction of Memory

The Role of Aesthetics in Manufactured Memory

Every filter, soundtrack, and visual edit contributes to a sensory illusion of the past. Apps like Instagram and VSCO transform reality into a retro dreamscape, making even a 2025 selfie look like a Polaroid from 1979. These images aren’t about authenticity — they’re about emotional tone. The past becomes a brand aesthetic, a texture applied to modern life to make it feel meaningful.

The Rise of “Core” Culture

Online trends like “Y2K core,” “cottagecore,” and “90s core” illustrate how nostalgia has evolved into a taxonomy of moods. Each aesthetic reconstructs a version of the past designed for comfort: a stylized fantasy free of historical messiness. The 90s are remembered not for their inequality or turmoil, but for chunky sneakers and bright windbreakers. These selective memories flatten complexity into aesthetic pleasure, where emotion matters more than truth.

The Algorithmic Memory Machine

Algorithms play a crucial role in sustaining fauxstalgia. They learn which content evokes engagement — a pixelated filter, an old TV ad remix — and amplify it endlessly. The more users respond emotionally, the more nostalgia content gets pushed. In effect, platforms automate the past, creating an endless loop where yesterday is always trending.

***

The Commerce of Comfort: How Brands Sell Fauxstalgia



Marketing Through Memory

Brands have long understood the power of nostalgia, but the digital era has refined it into an art form. From Netflix’s retro series like Stranger Things to Pepsi’s 90s-style logos, companies resurrect cultural touchstones to trigger emotional loyalty. Fauxstalgia allows brands to connect emotionally even with audiences too young to remember the original eras they reference. It’s not about memory — it’s about mood.

The Resale of the Past

Products once considered obsolete — vinyl records, film cameras, typewriters — are being rebranded as lifestyle artifacts. The past is no longer gone; it’s re-merchandised. Online thrift platforms and retro subscription boxes sell experiences of authenticity in a world dominated by digital copies. This commodification of the past gives nostalgia a price tag, turning emotional connection into consumption.

The Ethics of Manufactured Memory

While fauxstalgia can feel harmless, it raises questions about authenticity and manipulation. When brands engineer longing for a past that never existed, they also shape how we interpret history. A glossy, corporate version of the 80s or 90s hides economic and social realities. By selling us curated comfort, companies risk erasing the complexity of real memory — and our ability to learn from it.

***

The Psychology of Fauxstalgia: Longing for an Unlived Life

Emotional Displacement and Digital Escapism

Fauxstalgia reflects a deeper psychological tension: the desire to escape modern disconnection. The internet offers boundless connection but limited intimacy. The idealized past, whether it’s a synthwave sunset or an imagined 2000s summer, becomes a symbol of simplicity. It’s not the past we miss — it’s the feeling of belonging and presence that modern digital life often lacks.

Collective Yearning in the Age of Uncertainty

Sociologists suggest that nostalgia spikes during cultural instability. Economic precarity, environmental anxiety, and information overload drive people toward emotional retreat. The collective longing for the “before times” — even invented ones — offers a sense of shared mourning. Fauxstalgia becomes both a symptom and a salve for collective unease, a digital campfire where users gather to remember what never was.

Memory, Authenticity, and Emotional Simulation

Fauxstalgia tricks the brain. Research shows that emotionally charged imagery can create false memories — we believe we’ve experienced things we’ve only seen or imagined. Online, constant exposure to curated “vintage” content reinforces these sensations, blurring the line between history and fantasy. The internet doesn’t just preserve memories; it fabricates them.

***

When Nostalgia Becomes a Loop: The Future That Keeps Looking Back

The Death of Newness

Fauxstalgia has created a culture of recycling rather than innovation. Music samples old tracks, fashion rehashes old silhouettes, and films reboot existing franchises. The obsession with the past has made cultural originality rare. We’re stuck in a feedback loop of remix culture — consuming the familiar endlessly while craving novelty we no longer trust.

The Emotional Cost of Endless Remakes

Living in constant nostalgia can dull our ability to experience the present. When every image and sound references something older, we risk emotional stagnation. Fauxstalgia offers comfort, but also a kind of cultural paralysis — a refusal to imagine new futures. The past becomes not a lesson, but a lullaby that keeps us from waking up.

Reimagining the Future Through Real Memory

Breaking free from fauxstalgia doesn’t mean rejecting nostalgia altogether. Authentic nostalgia — grounded in personal memory and reflection — can inspire creativity and healing. The key is awareness: recognizing when nostalgia is being sold back to us and choosing to engage with it critically. To move forward, we must reclaim memory as a tool for meaning, not marketing."]]></description>
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<item rdf:about="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KB8RWULtiQc">
    <title>Why City Benches Are Becoming More Hostile - YouTube</title>
    <dc:date>2025-11-03T21:54:50+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KB8RWULtiQc</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Over the years, New York City benches have evolved, using designs often described as hostile or defensive to discourage homeless people from sleeping on them. These design changes have entire Instagram accounts and Reddit forums dedicated to documenting their rise. Though people experiencing street homelessness are the main target, legions of New Yorkers are annoyed.

Our reporter explains why benches are now entirely kept out of some new public spaces. Video by Anna Kodé, Gabriel Blanco, Laura Salaberry, Christina Shaman, Leila Medina and Rebecca Suner/The New York Times. #nyc #newyork #ny #centralpark

Read the story here: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/18/nyregion/nyc-benches.html "

[via:
https://kottke.org/25/11/why-city-benches-are-becoming-more-hostile

"From NY Times reporter Anna Kodé (whose “intersection of culture and real estate” reporting I’ve been enjoying lately), a short video on the increasingly hostile architecture of NYC.

<blockquote>The spread of the leaning bench and the lack of seating at places like Moynihan or around the city signals to homeless individuals that they are not welcome in these places. It signals to all New Yorkers that these are not social places. These are places to simply pass through.</blockquote>

Here’s a video Vox did on the subject seven years ago. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeyLEe1T0yo ]

Being in Japan is offering me such a contrast to so many things in the US. There are benches in public places here and they don’t have spikes all over them. Japan has the world’s lowest rate of homelessness [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homelessness_in_Japan ], probably because they take care of people. [https://kottke.org/25/10/the-freedom-of-enough ]

In America, we don’t provide housing or much of anything else for people (including a living wage or affordable health care) and the result is that no one can sit down in Penn Station or in a subway station and oh by the way, lots of people have nowhere to live. Why do we do this to ourselves? We could live better lives but we choose not to….for reasons?"]]]></description>
<dc:subject>benches hostilearchitecture inequality 2025 urban urbanism nyc homelessness japan comparison comfort annakodé kottke jasonkottke cities us sitting robertmoses poverty classism racism</dc:subject>
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<item rdf:about="https://www.joanwestenberg.com/p/you-are-insignificant-that-s-a-good-thing">
    <title>You Are Insignificant. That's a Good Thing.</title>
    <dc:date>2025-10-26T19:19:08+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.joanwestenberg.com/p/you-are-insignificant-that-s-a-good-thing</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["A Short Guide to Being Infinitesimally Small"

...

"Thirteen point eight billion years ago, there was nothing, and then there was everything.

The universe exploded into existence in a roiling chaos of energy that gradually cooled into quarks, then protons, then hydrogen atoms. For about 380,000 years, the cosmos was an opaque fog of matter and radiation so dense that light couldn't travel through it. Then the fog cleared, and the universe became transparent.

For millions of years after that, there were no stars. Just hydrogen and helium drifting in the dark, pulled together by gravity into increasingly dense clouds. Eventually, around 100 million years after the fact, those clouds collapsed enough to ignite the first fusion reactions. Stars lit up across the universe like someone had turned on a vast chandelier. They burned, fused heavier elements in their cores, exploded as supernovae, and seeded the cosmos with carbon, oxygen, iron, everything that would later become planets and people.

About 4.5 billion years ago, in an meaningless corner of an unremarkable galaxy, a cloud of gas and dust collapsed to form our sun and its retinue of planets. Earth coalesced from the debris, a molten ball that slowly cooled and developed a crust. Asteroids and comets bombarded the surface. Somehow, in ways we still don't fully understand, chemistry became biology. Single-celled organisms emerged around 3.5 billion years ago, and for the next three billion years, they had the planet to themselves.

Then came the Cambrian explosion, and suddenly (in geological terms) there were trilobites and strange worms and the ancestors of everything that would follow. Fish developed jaws, some crawled onto land, dinosaurs ruled for 165 million years and then abruptly vanished. Mammals diversified in the aftermath, primates emerged, and around 300,000 years ago, in Africa, anatomically modern humans appeared.

For most of human history, we lived in small bands, hunting and gathering. We figured out fire, language, tools, art. Around 10,000 years ago, we started farming, and everything accelerated. Civilizations rose and fell, writing was invented, empires sprawled across continents. The Bronze Age collapsed, the Iron Age began, religions spread, the printing press changed everything, the scientific revolution transformed our understanding of reality, the industrial revolution transformed how we lived, and through it all, millions upon millions of the critters who now identify as human were born and died and were entirely forgotten.

And then, at some point in the late 20th or early 21st century, you were born. Your parents met through some improbable chain of circumstances. Your father's particular sperm cell, out of millions, happened to fertilize your mother's particular egg. If anything had gone slightly differently, someone else would exist instead of you, or nobody at all.

You spent your childhood learning to navigate the world. You went to school, made friends, had your heart broken a few times. You chose a career, or had one choose you. You experienced joy and boredom and anxiety and wonder. You tried to make sense of things. You worried about whether you were doing enough, being enough, mattering enough.

And now you're here.

You're here, and you're probably not going to be a billionaire.

You may (or may not) start a company that changes the world or write a novel that gets taught in schools for generations or discover a new law of physics. 

You're probably not going to be a rock star or a movie star or any kind of star at all.

Your Wikipedia page may never exist. 

The history books will not mention you. 

You will never give a TED talk that goes viral, never have a biopic made about your life, never have buildings or scholarships or awards named after you. When you were a kid, maybe you thought you'd be exceptional, that you'd be one of the rare ones who breaks through, who matters on a grand scale. And then you grew up and realized you're smart enough to understand probability, which means you're smart enough to understand that you're almost certainly going to be ordinary.

You look at your life and you see the ceiling approaching. You see roughly how far you can rise in your career, roughly how much money you'll make, roughly what your legacy will be (small, or more likely, nonexistent). You scroll through social media and see people your age founding companies and publishing books and winning awards and collecting impressive titles, and you feel that familiar tightness in your chest.

The sense that you're falling behind, that you've missed your window, that you're wasting the one life you get. You're here, right now, in this present moment, and you're worried that being here isn't enough. That simply existing and working and loving people and having hobbies and being generally decent isn't enough, that you need to be extraordinary to justify the improbable fact of your existence.

You're here, and you're anxious about it.

I've been thinking a lot about this lately: the sheer statistical improbability of your existence should be crushing, but somehow it's the opposite. You are the product of an almost inconceivable number of contingencies, a soap bubble floating on an ocean of chance. And yet you lie awake at night worrying about whether you're successful enough, whether you've made the right career choices, whether people respect you, whether you'll be remembered.

And by you, I mean you.

And by you, I also mean me.

I used to find this overwhelming. The universe is so vast and old, and I am so small and brief. There are more stars in the observable universe than grains of sand on all of Earth's beaches, and most of them have planets, and the whole thing has been running for billions of years before I showed up and will continue for billions or trillions after I'm gone.

So, what's the point?

Of anything?

But lately I've been coming around to a different view.

The insignificance isn't the problem. It's the solution.

Think about the pressure we put on ourselves to matter, to make a mark, to be significant. We choose careers based partly on how impressive they sound at dinner parties or on imagine appearances on imagined talk shows. We agonize over decisions as if the fate of the world hangs on them. We compare ourselves to the most successful people in history and feel inadequate. The burden of significance is exhausting.

What if you just... didn't matter that much?

What if your choices and achievements and failures were basically rounding errors in the grand scheme of things?

Would that be so bad?

I spend a lot of time writing, and I have this recurring anxiety about whether anyone will read what I write, whether it will have any impact, whether I'll be forgotten immediately or maybe remembered for a while. But when I really sit with the cosmological perspective, when I imagine the trillions of years stretching out ahead after I’ve kicked the bucket // bought the farm // gone for a Burton, the whole question starts to seem sort of quaint.

Of course I'll be forgotten.

Everyone will be forgotten.

The sun will expand into a red giant and engulf the Earth, and every trace of human civilization will be vaporized. All the books and buildings and great works of art, gone. Every reputation carefully cultivated, every legacy anxiously protected will be erased.

At some point, even MC Hammer will be forgotten.

And you know what? That's okay. Better than okay. It's actually kind of freeing.

If nothing you do has permanent cosmic significance, then you can stop trying to achieve permanent cosmic significance. You can do things because they're interesting or fun or helpful to people right now, without needing them to echo through eternity. You can take risks, try things that might fail, pursue projects that won't make you famous or rich or immortal.

The stakes are lower than you think.

I see people paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong choice, as if there's an ageless scorekeeper tallying up their decisions. Should I take this job or that job? Should I move to this city or stay in that one? Should I date this person or wait for someone better? They treat these choices as if they're carving their decisions into a permanent record that will be judged by future generations.

But future generations won't care.

Our generation barely gives a shit about the Great War, about the Model T Ford, or about the life and times of billions of lifeforms who are long gone. We don’t remember the 30 Years War. The vast majority of the human race doesn’t commemorate Culloden.

Future generations will have their own concerns, and then they'll die too, and eventually there won't be any future generations at all. The sun will burn out, the stars will wink out one by one, and the universe will grow cold and dark.

This sounds depressing when I write it out like that, but I promise I'm going somewhere with this.

The liberation of insignificance: it lets you focus on what actually matters to you, right now, without the weight of cosmic importance crushing you. You can be kind to people because kindness feels good, without trying to tip the scales of history. You can create art because creation is satisfying, without competing for immortality. You can love people fully, knowing that love will end (one way or another)and that's fine.

There's something deeply wrong with how we've constructed meaning in the modern world. We've lost most of the traditional sources of significance (religion, community, duty) but kept the anxious feeling that we need to justify our existence. So we've turned to careers and achievements and metrics and status, trying to prove our worth to the horizon. We're all performing significance, trying to matter, desperate not to be forgotten.

But what if being forgotten is the natural state of things? What if almost everyone who has ever lived is already forgotten, and that's just how it works? There are about 100 billion humans who have lived and died, and you can probably name a few hundred of them. The rest have vanished into history, and the world keeps turning.

Call me a sociopath, but I find this comforting. The pressure is off. I don't have to be one of the 0.001% of humans who gets remembered. I can just be one of the 99.999% who lives, does their best, tries to be decent to the people around them, and then peacefully vanishes into oblivion. There's no shame in that. It's what happens to almost everyone, including literally every single one of the people you consider either successful or immortal.

Things still matter, life still matters - just locally and temporarily instead of cosmically and eternally. The meal you cook tonight matters to the people who eat it. The conversation you have with a friend matters to both of you, in that moment. The work you do matters to your colleagues and clients and the people affected by it. But in five hundred years, none of it will matter at all, and that's absolutely fine.

I think we'd be happier if we could internalize this. Not in a nihilistic way, where nothing matters so why bother, but in a liberating way, where things matter in proportion to their actual impact on actual people, not in proportion to how much astral significance we imagine them having. You can care deeply about your life and work and relationships without needing them to echo through eternity.

Once you stop trying so hard to be significant, you often end up doing better work anyway. You're not paralyzed by the fear of failure or the need to prove yourself. You can experiment, play, explore. You can do things for their own sake rather than for external validation. The people who actually do end up making lasting contributions are often the ones who were just deeply engaged with something they found fascinating, not the folks trying to cement their legacy.

But even that shouldn't matter to you.

Whether your work lasts or vanishes, whether you're remembered or forgotten, none of it changes the basic fact of your existence: you are here now, alive and conscious, able to experience the world and other people and double cheeseburgers and your own mind.

That's enough.

That's more than enough.

It's miraculous, actually, that you exist at all.

So here's happens next; here’s what’s coming. 

Eventually, inevitably, no matter how much money you raise, no matter if your tweets go viral or you change careers, or we get AGI, or you eat chicken fingers for lunch, or you bio-hack another handful of years together via plasma transplants and longevity podcasts, you’ll die (bad luck). 

At first, people remember you. Your family talks about you at gatherings. Your friends tell stories. Maybe there are photos on social media, posts that get surfaced in "memories" features for a while. But gradually, people move on. They have to. They have their own lives to live.

A generation passes, and you're a story told by people who knew you, if that. Another generation, and you're a name on a family tree. A few more generations and you're gone completely. Your great-great-great-grandchildren won't know your name unless you were unusually famous // infamous or kept unusually detailed records, and even then, well…

Humans are forgetful. 

The world keeps changing. New technologies emerge, old ones become obsolete. Political systems rise and fall. Mick Jagger eventually succumbs (more bad luck). The climate shifts, coastlines change, cities are built and abandoned. Humanity continues, facing new challenges, solving old problems, creating new ones. Thousands of years pass. Civilizations you can't imagine come and go. Wars are fought, peace accords signed, treaties broken. The pace of change accelerates or slows, nobody knows.

Eventually, if we don't destroy ourselves first, humans might spread beyond Earth. We might colonize Mars, build habitats in the asteroid belt, send generation ships to other star systems. Or maybe we stay on Earth and figure out some kind of sustainable equilibrium. Or maybe something entirely different happens, something we can't currently imagine.

Millions of years from now, if anything descended from humanity still exists, it probably won't remember you. It might not even remember that individual humans once existed. The whole sweep of recorded history might be compressed into a single footnote in some vast database nobody bothers to access.

The sun continues burning through its hydrogen, gradually heating up. In about a billion years, Earth becomes uninhabitable as the oceans boil away. In five billion years, the sun expands into a red giant and likely engulfs the inner planets entirely. Everything humanity ever built, every trace of your existence, vaporized.

But even that isn't the end. Other stars continue burning, new ones form from gas clouds, galaxies merge and separate. The universe expands, accelerating outward, carrying galaxies away from each other faster than light can travel between them. Star formation slows as hydrogen runs out. One by one, the stars burn out. Red dwarfs last the longest, but even they eventually exhaust their fuel.

In perhaps 100 trillion years, the last star flickers out. The universe is dark now, filled with black holes and dead stellar remnants. The black holes gradually evaporate through Hawking radiation over the course of googol years, unimaginable spans of time. Eventually, even protons decay (probably), and the universe consists of nothing but a thin soup of elementary particles and radiation, spreading ever farther apart.

Heat death. Maximum entropy. No more structure, no more complexity, no more life or thought or experience. Just an endless dark expanse, everything that ever happened forgotten completely, with no one left to remember.

And somehow, knowing all this, I feel okay. The heat death of the universe doesn't diminish my lunch today (Salmon Sashimi) or the book I'm reading (In Cold Blood by Truman Capote and the Dragonlance Chronicles by Margaret Weiss and Tracey Hickman) or the conversation I had yesterday that made me laugh. Those things happened, they were real, and they mattered in the only way things can matter: they were experienced by conscious beings who cared about them.

You are insignificant.

So am I.

So is everyone.

And that's a good thing, because it means we can stop trying so hard to be significant and just focus on being alive, right now, in this improbable moment we've been given.

The universe doesn't care about us, and that's okay.

We can care about each other instead."]]></description>
<dc:subject>small smallness jawestenberg 2025 insignificance zoominginandout universe memory history importance ephemeral ephemerality anxiety whatmatters generation legacy liberation meaning meaningmaking nature cosmos comfort happiness slow enough agi artificialgeneralintellifence death humans humanism politics policalsystems humanity civilization society change experience life living significance aliveness care caring entropy artificialgeneralintelligence</dc:subject>
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<item rdf:about="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9u1CYVeJ9o">
    <title>Mark Fisher Meets James Hillman: Melancholy, Manic Culture &amp; the End of Capitalist Realism (with Emma Stamm) - YouTube</title>
    <dc:date>2025-10-23T21:12:46+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9u1CYVeJ9o</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["What if depression isn’t an illness to cure but a collective mood that reveals the soul of a broken world? In this episode, Mark Fisher meets James Hillman in a conversation that bridges depth psychology and cultural theory, asking how melancholy and mania shape life under late capitalism. Joined by Emma Stamm, we explore the intersections of acid communism and archetypal psychology—from Fisher’s politics of despair to Hillman’s vision of a polytheistic psyche. Together we ask what happens when sadness becomes privatized, and how imagination might restore the collective body of the soul. This is a dialogue on melancholy, manic culture, and the end of capitalist realism—a descent into the psychic undercurrents of our time.

Emma's Substack: https://elftheory.substack.com/ 
Emma's Website: https://www.o-culus.com/ "]]></description>
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    <title>How I Believe - by Mills Baker - Rats from Rocks</title>
    <dc:date>2025-09-26T06:35:25+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://ratsfromrocks.substack.com/p/how-i-believe</link>
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<item rdf:about="https://www.theamericansaga.com/p/matt-taibbi-went-from-raging-against">
    <title>Matt Taibbi Went From Raging Against the Machine To Pandering to It</title>
    <dc:date>2025-09-10T22:52:10+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.theamericansaga.com/p/matt-taibbi-went-from-raging-against</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Taibbi once inspired me to go into journalism. Now he's an example of what's wrong with it."

...

"A frequent theme of the episode was that the American media is willing to talk honestly about atrocities in Syria but not what’s happening to the Palestinians.

“It’s worthy and unworthy victims, that whole thing. Syria, those are victims we can talk about them. This we can’t talk about,” Taibbi said.

If Taibbi is suddenly of the belief that Palestinians are unworthy victims, it would mark a sudden shift in the thinking of a man who spent his life criticizing not only American foreign policy more broadly but specifically criticizing the American media for how it helps justify hatred of and attacks on Palestinians.

But my guess is this isn’t about Israel or the Palestinians at all to Taibbi.

For most of his life, he was out there in the wilderness (sometimes, literally, he played professional basketball in Mongolia). He was raging against the Machine, whether that machine was the American media, both Democratic and Republican governments and politicians, or vicious foreign governments like the one that that runs Israel right now.

Over the past few years, his writing has become unrecognizable to longtime fans like me because he seems to have become something he never was before: comfortable. It’s easy to continue to push out pablum that appeals to his partisan readers, who I suspect are increasingly the only audience he has.

If that means ending his long campaign of holding elites accountable and now pandering to them instead, so be it. After all, so many other media figures have been audience captured by partisan readers and donors. What makes Taibbi above that? He’s still a man, and all men err.

It’s just a shame that a man I once admired so much decided to go from being the solution to being the problem."]]></description>
<dc:subject>zaidjilani 2025 matttaibi journalism left establishment right farright rightwing democrats politics antiwoke russia econmics substack moscow reporting georgewbush class media mainstreammedia bariweiss goldmansachs greatrecession globalfinancialcrisis justice socialjustice race racism ifstone greatawokening 2020 georgefloyd robindiangelo antracism whitefragility ethnicity progressive progressivism aprilharding republicans donaldtrump maga nytimes us policy palestine israel genocide congress tiktok tiktokban socialmedia adl antidefamationleague aipac ajc qatar sheikal-thani whitewashing zionism cnn 9/11 yasserarafat 2001 westbank jenin abbymartin katiehalper gaza benjaminnetanyahu indochina 2010 syria comfort yasirarafat georgefloydprotests georgefloyduprising</dc:subject>
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</item>
<item rdf:about="https://www.beyondthedial.com/post/podcast-the-final-episode-through-the-looking-glass-on-philosophy-watches/">
    <title>Podcast - The Final Episode - Through the Looking Glass, On Philosophy &amp; Watches</title>
    <dc:date>2025-07-25T08:20:15+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.beyondthedial.com/post/podcast-the-final-episode-through-the-looking-glass-on-philosophy-watches/</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Farewell, and thank you all for listening. The Aesthetic Revolution Will Be Beautiful!"

[Also here:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/through-the-looking-glass-on-watches-philosophy-the/id1472733566?i=1000650769924
https://open.spotify.com/episode/5q14vURgxkB0UkRIXGBbxR ]]]></description>
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    <title>Uncertainty is stressful, but here’s why we need to feel it | Psyche Ideas</title>
    <dc:date>2025-06-12T06:48:33+00:00</dc:date>
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    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["As much as people struggle with not knowing, we live in an uncertain world – and there are advantages to embracing that"]]></description>
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<item rdf:about="https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2025/04/class-money-finances/682301/">
    <title>What the Comfort Class Doesn’t Get - The Atlantic</title>
    <dc:date>2025-05-21T01:44:46+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2025/04/class-money-finances/682301/</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["People with generational wealth control a society that they don’t understand."

...

"As a result, the very term middle class has become a meaningless catchall for a disparate range of lived financial experiences. No wonder so much policy and rhetoric geared toward this group fails to stick. Who are these policies actually for? And what theoretical problems do they aim to address? Those of the third-generation college-educated social worker, whose parents helped her with a down payment on a house? Or those of the first-gen woman with student loans who holds the same job and lives in a rental apartment? Technically they earn the same wage and both likely see themselves as middle class, but they have extremely different lives because only one is a member of the comfort class.

Members of the comfort class are not necessarily wealthy. Perhaps one day they will earn or inherit sums that will put them in that category. But wealth is not the marker of the comfort class. Security is. An emergency expense—say a $1,200 medical bill—would send most Americans into a fiscal tailspin; for the comfort class, a text to Mom and Dad can render “emergencies” nonexistent.

This helps explain why the comfort class tends to vote differently. Someone who feels they don’t fundamentally need to worry about money if things go south will be more willing to vote on their values—issues like democratic norms or reproductive rights—than someone whose week-to-week concern is how inflation affects her grocery budget.

Many things drove voters to Trump, including xenophobia, transphobia, and racism. But the feeling that the Democratic Party had been hijacked by the comfort class was one of them. I recently saw—and admittedly laughed at—a meme showing a group of women from The Handmaid’s Tale. The text read: “I know, I know, but I thought he would bring down the price of eggs.”

To many Americans, classism is the last socially acceptable prejudice. It’s not hard to understand the resentment of a working-class person who sees Democrats as careful to use the right pronouns and acknowledge that we live on stolen Indigenous land while happily mocking people for worrying about putting food on the table.

Even when Americans of different classes are in close proximity, they tend to talk past one another. I still remember, my freshman year of college, coming back to my dorm to discover that my roommate had eaten the leftovers I’d saved from dinner the night before. I flew into a rage, and she had no idea why. She came from a household where leftovers were disposable. From her perspective, all she’d done was have a harmless drunken snack. From my perspective, she’d eaten my next meal, and I couldn’t afford another one.
I move in circles now where everyone’s zip code and alma mater alludes to a homogeneity of experience, but when I start discussing policy or politics with people—be they on the left or the right—I often feel that invisible gap yawn between us.

Just the other day, in honor of Indie Bookstore Day, I was asked to share a childhood memory of an independent bookstore. But I did not have a childhood memory of an independent bookstore. I grew up going to the library because there was no bookstore—independent or otherwise—in my blue-collar Brooklyn neighborhood. I didn’t go to a bookstore until I was a teenager, roaming Manhattan with my friends. For a moment, I felt embarrassed. But then I remembered how much unexamined presumption was behind the question. Most authors come from the comfort class, raised in homes full of books in quaint neighborhoods with local bookstores.

That’s a harmless example. But in the past eight weeks, life for working-class Americans has deteriorated in real ways. Millions of senior citizens are nail-biting about their Social Security benefits. People are worried for their jobs. The costs of eggs, orange juice, and utilities are on the rise. Mortgages and medical bills need to be paid. Rents will be due. Blood pressures will spike; judgments will be clouded; debts will no doubt be incurred. And the pundits and politicians, on all sides, will watch it from a safe, comfortable distance."

[archived:
https://archive.ph/r42Ba ]]]></description>
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<item rdf:about="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhcGXyjzyC0">
    <title>Judaism is 6000 years old. It can outlive Zionism | Rabbia Alissa Wise | The Big Picture - YouTube</title>
    <dc:date>2025-02-20T01:12:49+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhcGXyjzyC0</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Is Judaism itself an anti-Zionist religion?

According to Rabbi and organiser Alissa Wise, it's precisely the teachings of her faith that informs her stance against Israel, and her advocacy for a free Palestine.

Rabbi Wise is a former organiser with Jewish Voice for Peace, and in December 2023 founded the group Rabbis for Ceasefire, calling for an end to Israel's genocide in Gaza.

The group now has more than 200 members, all of them teachers of the Jewish faith. They're a part of a growing movement of dissenting voices within Jewish communities challenging ideas that were taboo for decades.

Back in November, shortly after the re-election of Donald Trump, The Big Picture Podcast  travelled to Philadelphia to meet with Rabbi Alissa Wise to talk about the history of Judaism and the Jewish people.

And why standing against Zionism is the most Jewish thing she can do."]]></description>
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<item rdf:about="https://humancarbohydrate.substack.com/p/94-practical-and-emotional-human">
    <title>94 practical and emotional human experience optimising recommendations for 2025</title>
    <dc:date>2025-01-01T23:37:28+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://humancarbohydrate.substack.com/p/94-practical-and-emotional-human</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["I know you all want to be told what to do

The transition from age 20 to age 30 is brutal, both mentally and physically. Many people leave their prime behind while others only now enter it. The former become older and heavier not in body but in spirit. I am going through a second puberty and am skinnier than I was in uni, so you should obviously listen to me.

I have padded out my hysterical advice with milquetoast (but effective) tips so that only those of you with enough dopamine to read the whole thing get them. I don’t every zombie normie freaking out in the comments section.

1. People either pursue an interesting or a happy life (that does not mean you are either boring or miserable; it means these values guide your decision-making). Penelope Trunk has a test I came across years ago. People who fall in the ‘interesting’ camp move away from family for career reasons, are maximisers of looks, status and experiences, have strong opinions and diverse friendship groups, are interested in experimenting and are predisposed to melancholy. Happy people want to be content. Interesting people suffer from existential angst. People who are great at something are obsessives to the detriment of ‘happiness’.

2. The pursuit of happiness alone will make you miserable. Happiness is the by-product of pursuing loftier goals.

3. Find the perfect word; don’t be lazy in speech or writing. People long to be described accurately.

4. You earn the right to be yourself by consistently withstanding people’s reactions to you.

5. Use everything. Don’t save outfits, stories, or bottles of wine. Don’t worry about using garments that stain easily if you love them. White looks lovely on tanned skin.

6. I guarantee you will fall in love with anyone you give your undivided attention to. If you struggle to enjoy human interactions, pay closer attention. Nobody is boring.

7. All villains are redeemable. Even you.

8. Take as much career risk as your health allows, not as much risk as your anxiety dictates is safe. If your genes survived past the 21st century, it is highly unlikely you are wired to enjoy a mundane life. I know many rich, depressed lawyers.

9. If your parents can afford to pay your rent you have 0 excuse for not living a creative life.

10. If not, know that art craves boundaries. Art loves nothing more than a deadline and no desk to write on. Adversity gives you stories. Every great artist had a struggle. Nobody cries looking at nepo babies taping rotting fruit on a canvas.

11. Arguing with someone can be a sign of respect. Someone respects you enough to think they can reason with you and are confident enough in their relationship with you to know it can withstand disagreement. Confrontation is a net positive.

12. All people have something interesting to tell you if only you know to ask the right questions. My favourites are:

a. What were you like in high school?

b. What’s your favourite dish/movie and why?

c. What’s your zodiac sign (confirm whether the characteristics of their sign are true for them)?

d. What’s your relationship with your family like?

13. Many people want to be writers, but not many people want to spend hours and days typing alone. The same goes for all professions, arts, hobbies.

14. Find the exquisite pleasure in a broken heart. Like a baby tooth hanging by its last ligament, the heart yearns to be pulled apart. Some people are melancholic by nature. Those who fight this nature tend to become depressed easily. Those of us who embrace it write really good love letters.

15. There is only one way to be loved for who you are: to be hated for who you are not. It is better to have 10 people who hate you and 10 who love you than 20 who don’t feel anything when they see a photo of your 4-year-old self in striped pyjamas bouncing on Santa’s knee.

16. Looking sexy is incompatible with looking uncomfortable. This goes for both men and women. However, sometimes you need to be a little cold. Never wear tights with over the knee boots. The girls from The North have a point.

17. Walk everywhere and eat a lot of protein, that’s the secret to a ‘high metabolism’.

18. Nuts and legumes and don’t have enough protein: eat skyr, greek yoghurt, white fish, chicken, venison and other wild meats (lower in fat and higher in protein), tuna and shrimp. If you need a snack and you are on the go, buy a tab of cottage cheese and eat it with a spoon like a yoghurt. If you want it to be sweet, buy the pineapple-flavoured one.

19. The sooner you learn not to care about people staring at you, the more productive, joyful and easy your life will become. Whether you are eating a tub of cottage cheese on the bus or wearing your Pikatsu onesie to the corner shop, there is great pleasure in the confidence to ignore society’s unwritten rules.

“People are always angry at anyone who chooses very individual standards for his life; because of the extraordinary treatment which that man grants to himself, they feel degraded, like ordinary beings.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

20. As soon as possible in your life, learn why some people love vegetables. Befriend those of us who grew up eating them out of love, not punishment. The secret is usually good olive oil, a LOT of lemon, and salt. Blanch or steam, don’t boil. Don’t overcook.

21. Buy people coffee and drinks whenever you can; they may not always reciprocate, but you are not doing it because you need a free coffee in the future. People will forget what you tell them but will never forget how you made them feel. Our parents bought us things for free, without expectation, for the first and the longest time. People will never forget you made them feel taken care of and thought of.

22. Order chips at the pub and share them with everyone. Crunchy communal carbs are social lubrication far superior to shots.

23. When you feel grateful about something someone has done for you, text them immediately. A simple text. A check-in or a ‘I thought of you’. Don’t leave it for later because postponing things only leads to deathbed regrets. Don’t let the perfect text be the enemy of a good enough text.

24. Equally, always pay deserved compliments. If your eyes light up when you see a woman in a beautiful dress, tell her. Compliment the men, too; they look nice sometimes.

25. Never network. Make new friends.

26. A loyal and admiring junior is worth ten times the senior who doesn’t know your name.

27. Drugs fry some of the greatest minds of every generation because greatness comes from obsessiveness. Obsessive people have addictive personalities, and drugs that stimulate their brains make people who already feel like Jesus feel like Father God himself. Slowly, their speech patterns change, and they don’t really respond to what you are saying, and they don’t realise it, and then ten years later, they have a psychotic break out.

28. Also, a lot of alcoholics. My cardinal addictions were men and food, and I have channelled them into my career and fitness.

29. Don’t worry whether people invite you to their parties or over their homes for dinner. If you enjoy hosting and feeding others, you don’t need them to return the treat to feel the benefits.

30. Closeted Gays are a million times more fun after they come out of the closet. If you have friends from the past who you sense might be gay and who you distanced yourself from over the years because you did not feel connected enough, give them another shot once they are out to themselves and the world because normally, they transform into full humans after that and a lot of their shortcomings make more sense in the context.

31. Bonus point: If you fancy or fancied me at any point, there is a 70% chance you are bi/gay. Data don’t lie, look into it.

[image: "me and one my many gay ex-boyfriends outside our high school"]

32. If you can’t organise your kitchen in a way that doesn’t make cooking an infuriating task, you have too much stuff. You don’t need two cheese graters. You should not need a hazmat suit to open your cupboard.

33. To boost your self-confidence, buy personal training sessions rather than new clothes and expensive make-up. Fit people look good in anything. It’s hard not to love your body when you spend time working with it.

34. Generally, spending money on things is the least effective way to use your money to improve your appearance and attractiveness. The most effective ways (descending order) are diet, exercise, cleanliness, a good haircut, learning what suits your skin tone and body shape, wearing the correct size, taking a few deep breaths, relaxing your eyebrows and lips, pushing your shoulders down and straightening your back, not fidgeting or playing with your hair, letting your locks frame your face as they please, loosening up your belt, shoe strings, top button, steaming/ironing your clothes.

35. Most people need to size up in clothing and won’t do it either because they are attached to the size they were wearing in college or because they don’t realise that ‘I can pull the zipper up’ is not the definite cue that something is the best size for you. I wear a UK size 12 (US size 8), and curiously, 90% of my friends wear smaller sizes than me. Reader, I am not the biggest in my social circle but I am the most effective looks maximiser. Some men need to size down, but it’s rare.

36. If you want to smile for a photo or to conceal your inner existential dread, touch your tongue behind the top row of your teeth. It makes your smile look genuine, and your eyes light up. I read it in Cosmopolitan when I was 13 and never stopped doing it. It is a handy trick if you are mercurial and don’t want to spend a whole night telling people everything is fine because the gothic novel princess in your brain would rather have stayed under the duvet.

[image]

37. Your habits become your character and as you can change your habits, you can also change your character. You can reinvent yourself whenever you want. Do the things the person you want to be would do.

38. Don’t ask people whether they think you can do something, ask them how to do it instead.

39. If someone gives you negative feedback, react calmly and gratefully, even if you disagree. You want them to feel comfortable to do it again. Reward those who engage in social behaviours that risk their social standing but ultimately benefit your personal development. Don’t shoot the messenger. Get a link for anonymous feedback.

40. If there is no food left over, someone is still hungry.

41. Always be ready to be seen naked, it doesn’t matter if you never have casual encounters. You deserve presentable underwear every day and sexual vigor is a sign of a thriving organism.

42. Don’t listen to people triggered by phone-yielding youths; take hundreds of photos of your friends and times together. It will boost dopamine every time you flicker through your album.

43. Take candid photos of people and send them to them. Even strangers! When you go on holiday abroad, photograph a couple kissing and ask them to airdrop their photo. They will be so grateful.

44. Infatuations are to be enjoyed twice. The first time is when they are felt. The second is when they are confessed. Tell them and remember point number 10 above.

45. Don’t worry about boosting other people’s egos because they think you fancy them more than you do. Romance is not a blinking match. Infatuations are selfish acts. We tell people we want them because we will burst if we don’t, what they do with it is none of our business.

46. If you want to know how someone judges you, notice what they criticise about others when they gossip with you. Remember that this is also how they judge themselves.

47. Everyone is looking for free therapy, whether they know it or not. Time your pauses generously after each question.

48. Envy is my favourite feeling. I am awash with excitement when I feel it. It’s my subconscious’s way of showing me what I want. Now I can go out and get it.

49. My second favourite feeling is desperation in myself and in others. Don’t be repelled by it; receive it and channel it. People live lives of meekness out of fear of exposing their wants. Underpinning this is the lack of belief they can get what they want once they’ve said they want it. To want and to not get is a universal human condition, and it is that universality that makes it romantic and timeless, not sad and pathetic as its bearers fear. We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

50. Don’t distance yourself from people because they are better looking or more privileged in material ways unless they are obnoxious about it. Having hot, rich friends is a superpower.

51. If you don’t want to live life anxious, people will abandon you when you are poor, sick or sad; don’t abandon people when they are poor, sick or sad. Superpower.

52. Generally, the more you are afraid people will judge you about something, the more likely it is you judge others by that value. If you don’t value, say, unearned wealth, then you should be pretty chill about people finding out you never went abroad until you went to uni.

53. 70% of looking presentable is being very very clean.

54. Most people go to grad school because they don’t know what to do with their lives. Your parent's money is better spent investing in your new business. If you don’t know what business that could be…

55. ….get a job, any job you can and pay close attention to which parts of it you enjoy and hate, what comes easier to you than your colleagues and what comes harder. Then, find another job based on those.

56. Life is too short to fight your sensitivities and proclivities. Don’t be embarrassed by what moves you, and ignore the repressed people who are jealous you are living an honest life.

57. Usually, when people are repeatedly triggered by a specific attribute in people (e.g. insecurity, snobbism, vanity, selfishness), it is because they are aware they have it too.

58. Men are good at arguing, and women are good at manipulating. Women need to learn to fight back and not flee a fight, and men need to learn to be subtle and play the long game.

59. One time in your life, read a bunch of self-help books. Do it once: finance, fitness, career etc. Do everything they say: set up your savings account/pension/investment scheme, start weightlifting, clear out your closet, fold everything Mary Kondo style etc. Then, never read another self-help book in your life.

60. There may be people you were very fond of in your life but who find it hard to be around once your lives take different turns. You might be a painful reminder of the person they could have been but aren’t. Leave the door open if you want but let them go in peace.

61. If your friend or partner is upset, ask them if they want solutions or a listening ear before you autistically ruin the vibe.

62. When I ask friends for feedback on my writing, and they comment on the story or commiserate me on something that sounds sad- I don’t care. I am more interested in knowing if they found the writing entertaining, nourishing or moving. If someone asks you to critique their art, gauge what they want. Many people crave encouragement. A few crave the candid and withering feedback.

63. Good career advice for many women is never to learn to do the things you don’t want to continue doing. I am useless with working diaries and Excel sheets, but you can always count on me to give a speech or chair a panel.

64. Also, always learn to do the technical things only a handful of men in the team know how to do. In one of my initial campaigns, I lasted longer than most other staffers because I insisted that the only man in our group who could program the backend of our new app and handle the data inputs and outputs to teach me how to do it too. I ignored his protests that it would be quicker for him to handle it than teach me. When the time came for our next assignment, only two out of tens of staff members were diploid to the next state: me and the dipshit. The girls who were very good at separating the recycling got sent home.

65. There is no escape from suffering. You can either suffer because you love someone or something or because you don’t love anyone and anything. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

66. Splurge on what you use daily; save on what you use once a year. Buy the best-fitting fucking jeans. Don’t worry about buying heels; remember, you can’t dance in them.

67. Don’t say you hate your job if you actually love it. Don’t say you love it if you actually hate it. Resist the temptation to lie when people ask you how you are doing, but if the answer is genuinely that you are tired, stressed or bored all the time, then ask yourself what would need to change for you to feel energised, motivated, and engaged. Whenever someone asks me if I like my career, it is an opportunity to remind myself how grateful I am.

68. Misery loves company; don’t take advice from people whose lives you don’t want to emulate. One of the most miserable married women I know (my mom) is sending me Pew Research Marriage Makes People Happier studies.

69. The cure to hate is curiosity.

70. Something is only a problem if it makes you feel bad. Eating healthy is very different from ‘dieting’.

71. Become people’s safe space by controlling your reaction when you witness them being humiliated or confessing something embarrassing. Many people’s nervous systems are fried from being raised by reactive parents. The reason people keep their struggles or shameful moments secret, with compounding detrimental long-term effects, is because they still have the emotional composition of a toddler eager to please their elders. If you want to enshrine emotional resilience in someone, model stoic acceptance of life’s rollercoaster. Whatever it is, we will work through it.

72. If you get a baby pet, say a puppy or kitten, take a million photos and videos of them while they are still small. Presumably, the same goes for baby humans, but what do I know.

73. Embrace responsibility, act like you, and you alone must save the world. If the world’s lost, it’ll be on you.1

74. If you don’t know what to write about, stop stopping yourself from writing what you are thinking. There is a reason I mostly write about men, careers, and mom. Most people hate writing because when they try to do it, they force themselves to write what they think will make them look good: a topic that makes them sound serious, an argument that makes them sound deep. Who are they kidding? Most of people’s minds are in the GUTTER. WRITE ABOUT THAT.

75. Be the first on the table to put down your knife and fork and use your fingers when the dish craves it. Others will silently thank you.

76. Do you fancy them, or do you want to be them? If it’s the latter, don’t fret; copy them.

77. Don’t use rich men for money; use them for access.

78. Never order takeaway alone. Buy a steak and a bag of salad. Come to think of it, never order take away, ever, unless you feel nostalgic. Buy two steaks and a bag of salad.

79. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. [https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/40501-enjoy-the-power-and-beauty-of-your-youth-oh-nevermind ] Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded.

80. If a social situation needs to claim an ego, offer up your own. People feel subconscious loyalty to those who let them save face.

81. Don’t worry about powerful men chasing you and then hanging you out to dry. Let them think they humiliated you. Men who are not psychopaths but have leadership qualities feel terrible when they know they hurt women. Don’t try to take revenge; let the situation cool off and use them for favours for the rest of your life.

82. Proactively give positive feedback to people excelling at something for a long time. People stop acknowledging excellence when you break into the top, but even Obama craves to know that his speech went well.

83. When someone posts online about a relative or friend dying or some other personal misfortune, message them immediately with a simple offer of sympathy. Don’t worry if you don’t know them well enough. The result of people looking for the perfect reaction to people’s grief is that we leave the grieving to struggle alone.

84. Sometimes, people need you to mirror their feelings to feel heard; other times, they need you to calm them. Know which friend will give you which, too, if you want to let your feelings flow with a friend. If I am distressed, I don’t want to be with people who will mirror my emotional state because that makes me feel worse. Equally, if I am very excited about something, I don’t want to confess it to the friend who asks rational, practical questions about every update.

85. Whether you think you can or can’t do something: you are right. A lot of success is about ambition more than it is about skill or even hard work. Most people don’t even apply.

86. Men and children love red dresses, lips and nails. Find the crimson shades that suit your undertones and overtones and wear them liberally.

87. Wear at least 2 different primers under your foundation.

88. Buy professional shampoo and conditioner.

89. Start a blog. [https://blog.penelopetrunk.com/penelopes-guide-to-blogging/ ] A private journal is not good enough because you won’t do it. It doesn’t matter if nobody reads it at first or ever. You are not writing to make money but to force yourself to structure your thoughts. Self-discovery will make you richer in the long run. People assume those who express more know more. Studies show individuals who speak more during group interactions are likelier to be viewed as leaders, independent of what they say.

90. The most comforting relief of grief destined never to resolve itself is to think of everyone else suffering the same pain. If you don’t think suffering brings you closer to God, know it brings you closer to mankind.

91. Dressing down when you are a regular glamazon is a power move. Every now and then, show up to a party in jeans and a crop top to keep them guessing.

92. The sexiest recipe in the universe: chicken thighs in cream and tarragon (Jay Rayner has the best recipe).

[image]

93. Hang around people significantly younger and older than you. Pick a few and develop close friendships with them. Feed off the energy of the young and soak the wisdom of the old.

94. Finally, someone in my feedback link said I am obsessed with status (brother, you are telling me?), but I have found status to be a poor motivator for any habit that sticks. If the 12 years of adulthood have taught me anything about self-improvement and discipline is that the only effective motivation to do anything is to take care of others. Get fit, make money, and amass clout and social influence, all in the hope that if you find yourself driving down the highway, you won’t speed past the wounded dog. Everything else falls off the wagon."]]></description>
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<item rdf:about="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMeuMznCMgo">
    <title>El futuro de las historias - Javier Argüello y Rafael Gumucio | Valparaíso 2024 - YouTube</title>
    <dc:date>2024-11-23T20:00:06+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMeuMznCMgo</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["En esta conversación, los escritores Javier Argüello y Rafael Gumucio abordarán el oficio de escribir y cómo las narrativas configuran nuestra visión del mundo. Se explorará el poder del relato científico como la narrativa dominante en la actualidad, así como el papel de la memoria en la reconstrucción de la realidad familiar y social. 

En un contexto marcado por la inteligencia artificial, las redes sociales y los modelos generativos, se reflexionará sobre el papel y el futuro de las historias en una era de transformación tecnológica, invitando al público a repensar la creación literaria en el mundo contemporáneo.

Presenta Colbún y Coopeuch. Proyecto financiado por PAOCC"]]></description>
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</item>
<item rdf:about="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xo18us2TLQ">
    <title>30 days no smartphone - YouTube</title>
    <dc:date>2024-11-18T19:22:35+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xo18us2TLQ</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><dc:subject>internetgirl 2024 attention routines smartphones boredom indifference comfort change offline connectivity technology society</dc:subject>
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    <title>E05 | The Invisible World of Sound with Nicolas Sowers - YouTube</title>
    <dc:date>2024-09-27T05:23:31+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzYvK-GwMCg</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["In this episode of Third Space, host Sola Da Silva joins sound architect Nicolas Sowers, founder of Timbre Architecture and Sound [https://www.timbrearchitects.com/ ], for a sound walk along the LA River. They investigate the diverse soundscapes embedded in urban settings and discuss the role of intentional sound design in enhancing architectural spaces including individuals with varying needs.

hello@thirdspacemedia.co
https://bio.site/thirdspacemedia.co"

[also here:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1tLMrRFJKHiyzjvfGbiIXE ]]]></description>
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<item rdf:about="https://faith.yale.edu/media/fully-alive">
    <title>Fully Alive | YCFC</title>
    <dc:date>2024-08-19T03:53:07+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://faith.yale.edu/media/fully-alive</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA[[via:
https://ablerism.micro.blog/2024/08/18/i-find-elizabeth.html ]

"Modern Monasticism & the Topography of the Soul"

...

"Elizabeth Oldfield discusses what it means to be fully alive and at peace with ourselves and our neighbors in the anxiety and fear of contemporary life.

What does it mean to be fully alive and at peace with ourselves and our neighbors in the anxiety and fear of contemporary life? Joining Evan Rosa in this episode is Elizabeth Oldfield—a journalist, communicator, and podcast host of The Sacred. She’s author of Fully Alive: Tending to the Soul in Turbulent Times.

Together they discuss life in her micro-monastery in south London; the meaning of liturgical and sacramental life embedded in a fast-paced, technological, capitalistic, obsessively popular society; the concept of personal encounter and Martin Buber’s idea that “all living is meeting”; the fundamentally disconnecting power of sin that works against the fully aliveness of truly meeting the other; including discussions of wrath or contempt that drives us toward violence; greed or avarice and the incessant insatiable accumulation of wealth; the attention-training benefits of gratitude and the identify forming power of our attention; throughout it all, working through the spiritual psychology of sin and topography of the soul—and the fact that we are, all of us, in Elizabeth’s words, “unutterably beloved.”

About Elizabeth Oldfield

Elizabeth Oldfield is a journalist, communicator, and author. She hosts a beautiful podcast called The Sacred. And she’s author of Fully Alive: Tending to the Soul in Turbulent Times. Follow her @esoldfield, and visit her website elizabetholdfield.com

Show Notes

- Intentional living community; pulling on monastic lifestyle and framework; read more about Elizabeth Oldfield’s micro-monastery here (https://www.thetimes.com/life-style/parenting/article/middle-class-commune-joint-accounts-noisy-sex-peckham-0jnhvhgmh ).
- People passing through the micro-monastery and the sharing of a meal and sitting in silence with others
- Celtic prayer book - The Aidan Compline (https://www.northumbriacommunity.org/offices/monday-the-aidan-compline/ )
- Fully Alive: Tending to the Soul in Turbulent Times by Elizabeth Oldfield (http://bakerpublishinggroup.com/books/fully-alive/421701 )
- How you see your liturgical life, the rhythms of your life however else you might describe you spirituality as providing the soil of this book?
- A personal writing experience - communicating something of her tradition with the outside world
- What it means to be fully alive to you?
- Everything is about relationships and connection; to be fully alive is to be fully connected with the soul
- Between Man and Man (https://www.routledge.com/Between-Man-and-Man/Buber/p/book/9780415278270 ) and I and Thou by Martin Buber - “all living is meeting” (https://www.maximusveritas.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/iandthou.pdf )
- If all living is meeting, how are we failing in that regard?
- Unapologetic: Why, Despite Everything, Christianity Can Still Make Surprising Emotional Sense by Francis Spufford (https://www.harpercollins.com/products/unapologetic-francis-spufford?variant=32207439626274 )
- Sin is disconnection; a turning inward
- “Elegy on the Lady Markham” by John Donne (https://www.poetrynook.com/poem/elegy-lady-markham-0 )
- “As I Walked Out One Evening” by W.H. Auden (https://poets.org/poem/i-walked-out-one-evening )
- The Sacred podcast (https://www.theosthinktank.co.uk/comment/2017/12/06/introducing-the-sacred-podcast )
- Polarization, division, and the splitting of people - homophily and fight or flight response
- Jesus going to the margins, ignoring tribal boundaries and turning the other cheek
- Sin and Reconciliation
- The Givenness of Things: Essays by Marilynne Robinson, “I find the soul a valuable concept, a statement of the dignity of human life” (https://www.brethrenpress.com/product_p/9781250097316.htm )
- The soul is interesting and difficult to name but is so valuable
- Room for uncertainty and poetry—we beat up our souls, keep ourselves distracted
- Contemporary life is angry and greedy
- Contempt is a poison for our souls and relationships and humanity
- Stress and anxiety as a constant
- Christian non-violence tradition
- We must feel our emotions - process them through the shared rituals of our communities
- Desire by Micheal O’Siadhail (https://www.baylorpress.com/9781481320061/desire/ )
- Would you like to introduce your take on greed?
- Phyllis Tickle, dogged commitment of the scripture - the love of money is the root of all evil
- The Parable of the Sower - Mark 4:19 (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark4%3A19&version=NIV )
- Made gods of wealth, greed, comfort, and connivence
- Gratitude is a medicine for greed
- Of Gratitude by Thomas Traherne? (https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/abs/works-of-thomas-traherne-vii/of-gratitude/161CCCE8293EE4034F65AB436AB4D3F9 )
- “These are the Days We Prayed For” by Guvna B (https://genius.com/Guvna-b-these-are-the-days-lyrics )
- Notice and give thanks; misplaced desire
- Acadia, spiritual apathy, and heavy distraction
- Attention and discipline are formation
- The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental - Illness by Jonathan Haidt (https://www.anxiousgeneration.com/book )
- Community as accountability and rituals and set rhythms of life
- Divine Love, ultimate love
- Baptism as a reminder of our death - love remains
- Quiet space shared with others; honesty, vulnerability, emotional processing"]]></description>
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<item rdf:about="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPSSg3sO4RI">
    <title>Reyna Tropical Explores Diasporic Identity on 'Malegría' - YouTube</title>
    <dc:date>2024-06-04T21:26:47+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPSSg3sO4RI</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Fabi Reyna is a Portland-based guitarist and songwriter and is also the founder of She Shreds Media, which is dedicated to empowering women and non-binary guitarists and bassists. Reyna is now out with a new album under her artist name, Reyna Tropical. The album is called 'Malegria.'


KEXP’s Albina Cabrera caught up with Reyna to learn more about the inspiration behind the album, how it explores the Latinx diaspora and identity, and about Reyna’s musical partner, Nectali "Sumohair" Díaz, who passed away during the making of the album."]]></description>
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<item rdf:about="https://lithub.com/bring-back-the-big-comfortable-bookstore-reading-chair/">
    <title>Bring Back the Big, Comfortable Bookstore Reading Chair ‹ Literary Hub</title>
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    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Casey Johnston Makes a Strong Case for a Small but Essential Comfort"]]></description>
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<item rdf:about="https://designingfriction.com/">
    <title>Designing Friction</title>
    <dc:date>2024-02-14T19:58:47+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://designingfriction.com/</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["DESIGNING FRICTION
A call for friction in digital culture

As designers, entrepreneurs and architects of digital culture we feel the urge to refocus how we want to deal with our digital futures. Designing Friction is a proposal to change the way we think when producing or interacting with digital technology.

WHAT IS FRICTION?
Friction is resistance. It derives from physical interaction between humans, and humans and things – its reach is holistic. All senses, elements and emotions play a role: sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, air, earth, temperature, agitation, passion, joy, sadness... With movement comes friction. The more we move and act, the more friction we encounter. The more friction there is, the more we engage and care. Friction drives our engagement. Friction, in this context, is neither synonymous with anger or conflict, nor is it malfunctioning technology. Friction is an essential ingredient that makes up our humanness and sparks human connection. Friction is thus a lively, intrinsic experience.

LOSS OF FRICTION
Digital technology has long pursued the goal of eliminating friction, striving for seamlessness. We now navigate a sea of frictionless experiences. (With the possible exception of two factor authentication)☺

Function and form are detached
Digital technology goes in hand with the loss of physical resistance. Philosopher Haroon Sheikh explains that digital technology turns our interactions with things into interaction with devices. A thing is split into its object (form) and its function. A device is the same object for each function; it’s your purse, your musical instrument and your letterbox, each of which now demands the same bodily action.

Removing physical human interaction
Instead of using our whole hand to interact, we now often use our fingertips to swipe screens or interact with air. Each new app or innovation replaces a previously friction-laden human interaction process, David Byrne states. Transactions with machines are perceived to be smoother than interactions with fellow humans.

Convenience and immediacy
Everything can be effortlessly and immediately accessed from behind our screens. We stay home due to home-delivery, dating apps, online classes and endless on-demand entertainment. We are facing ‘death by convenience’. In such a reality, movement is trimmed down to a minimum.

Predictability
In this reality data is king. In creating convenience all our actions are recorded and translated into data, rendering them readable and predictable. The better the data, the better the predictability. Unpredictability, human messiness, and unforeseen actions are all friction, and counter this goal. Predictable futures can be controlled.

Loss of autonomy
Keeping friction out maintains a fragile equilibrium. Enter AI — technology becomes omnipresent, and evolves from being a tool towards a companion with humanlike semblance and appeal. We are on the verge of committing our emotions to AI, plunging into an emotional dependency. AI indulges us, consumes us. Its appeal gives us the comforts and conveniences we learn to seek. To maintain satisfaction from interaction with a model you need to perform your predictable self. It becomes almost impossible to step out, to live friction. Our autonomy is at stake.

Philosopher Miriam Rasch argues that complete removal of friction means standing still. A completely predictable future is no future, but a continuous present. In a world where even our deepest desires can be foreseen, where we have lost our autonomy, we long for what remains beyond the domain of data, algorithms and databases and AI.

*******

PROPOSAL
A world headed for a frictionless reality begs the question: how can we create a desirable future with digital technology? How can we access, develop and relate to it? We like to see designing friction as a fundamental design principle when working with digital culture. Instead of following design ethics that strive to eliminate friction we suggest to not only allow, but embrace friction, facilitate it: design [products with] digital technology in a way that makes space for our humanness. Here friction is a core ingredient. Digital technology should create environments and situations in which we can truly connect with each other, as well as with the unknown, the uncontrolled, with all senses, all elements, all emotions. Create situations that are not calculated beforehand, predicted and measured; situations that result from and amount to the present moment.

*******

Here are some ideas on what ‘designing friction’ might entail.

[An arrow pointing down]

Discomfort
Embrace uncomfortable situations. In uncomfortable environments we can discover the richness and breadth of friction. Uncomfortable situations help you to feel structures you are not adjusted to, you can learn and discover. With friction we get immersed, we get creative, we get alive. Discomfort allows us to experience boundaries both physically and mentally (these are necessary and productive). Designing friction is exploring boundaries.

Time delay
Friction makes things slower and that is okay! The fastest response might not be the best one to design for. Instant gratification is what digital technology currently optimizes for. This results in the loss of desire, waiting and boredom. Avoiding boredom makes us pick up a device as soon as we have nothing to do. Being bored lets you start new fascinations. Boredom gets us into productive flow. When friction acts to slow things down it allows us to step into the now. Designing friction is fueling longing and desire, it allows boredom and allows for a slower pace.

Engage the body
When interacting with screens we lack resistance. Swiping screens makes our world more superficial. Human life gains depth when having thing-relations. Thing-relations tend to bring us together physically and create connections. Designing friction requires thinking about how to increase our resistance. How can we engage our hands and whole bodies? How can these bodily engagements bring us together?

Non-positive
Acknowledge the fulfillment in the non-positive. Today’s digital technology creates a society that is in ‘pursuit of happiness’, in awe of positivity. (As a counterweight of the negativity it produces?) Smoothness doesn’t injure. It doesn’t produce resistance. It enforces the Like. These mechanisms feed our desire for attention and being seen. Designing friction cherishes the non-positive, the ‘digital unseen’, the disagreement, the doubt, the vulnerable, the complicated. This is what makes us human.

Perform your unpredictable self. Design environments and situations that trigger and facilitate unpredictable behaviour. De-automise Miriam Rasch calls it. Step out of your pattern. Do something strange.

Friction perceived as an obstacle might in fact be a possibility for connection.


Luna Maurer
Roel Wouters
Co-authored with Alexandra Barancová
mail@designingfriction.com "]]></description>
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    <title>After Comfort: A User’s Guide - Soha Macktoom et al. - Heatscapes and Evolutionary Habitats</title>
    <dc:date>2023-10-13T21:13:06+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.e-flux.com/architecture/after-comfort/568093/heatscapes-and-evolutionary-habitats/</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><dc:subject>sohamacktoom nausheenanwar mariamahmad heat landscape urban urbanism climatechange climateurbanism comfort cities globalsouth karachi architecture design buildings pakistan outdoors urbanization ivorycoast senegal cameroon guinea michelecochard tropical tropics</dc:subject>
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<item rdf:about="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDjrTkssZmE">
    <title>O, Death! - YouTube</title>
    <dc:date>2023-09-26T15:38:28+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDjrTkssZmE</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["This essay is a little different than others on my channel. It is a wholly subjective interpretation of the topics and works discussed. It discusses only what I personally take away from a couple of Tolstoy’s writings. Thus, this video leaves out significant parts of both The Confession and The Death of Ivan Ilyich. I would not recommend this video as a substitute for reading either of those works. 

Sources:
The Death of Ivan Ilyich and Confession (Peter Carson translation)
God, Guilt, and Death: An Existential Phenomenology of Religion"]]></description>
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<item rdf:about="https://www.theguardian.com/music/2023/aug/15/the-evolution-of-steve-albini-if-the-dumbest-person-is-on-your-side-youre-on-the-wrong-side">
    <title>The evolution of Steve Albini: ‘If the dumbest person is on your side, you’re on the wrong side’ | Steve Albini | The Guardian</title>
    <dc:date>2023-08-21T04:26:08+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.theguardian.com/music/2023/aug/15/the-evolution-of-steve-albini-if-the-dumbest-person-is-on-your-side-youre-on-the-wrong-side</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["In 2001, the writer Michael Azerrad published Our Band Could Be Your Life, a history of the US independent music scene in the 1980s, which told the stories of bands like Sonic Youth, Fugazi and Big Black. What is striking, reading the book today, is not just how unrepentant Albini was about his past controversies – the appalling band names, the cruel insults, the jokes that toyed with racism, misogyny and homophobia – but how unbudging he was about why so many people had criticised him. To Albini, back then it was simple. Obviously he didn’t really believe in any of that stuff – if you read his interviews or thought about his music for two seconds, you would pick up on his real politics.

He had no time for people who are “careful not to say things that might offend certain people or do anything that might be misinterpreted”. That was just about seeming good rather than actually being good. “I have less respect for the man who bullies his girlfriend and calls her ‘Ms’ than a guy who treats women reasonably and respectfully and calls them ‘Yo! Bitch’” he told Azerrad. “The point of all this is to change the way you live your life, not the way you speak.” It did not seem to bother him that for people who don’t know your innermost thoughts and desires, the way you speak is the way you live; it doesn’t matter if you, personally, believe your politics are sound.

As the years wore on, his perspective started to shift. “I can’t defend any of it,” he told me. “It was all coming from a privileged position of someone who would never have to suffer any of the hatred that’s embodied in any of that language.” For years, Albini had always believed himself to have airtight artistic and political motivations behind his offensive music and public statements. But as he observed others in the scene who seemed to luxuriate in being crass and offensive, who seemed to really believe the stuff they were saying, he began to reconsider. “That was the beginning of a sort of awakening in me,” he said. “When you realise that the dumbest person in the argument is on your side, that means you’re on the wrong side.”

Kim Deal told me that Albini’s wife, the filmmaker Heather Whinna, whom he met in the 1990s, was a crucial influence. “She told him specifically: ‘I don’t think you know the power that you have when you just dismiss people. They really respect you, Steve, and why would you do that to them?’ I don’t think he understood that people were actually listening to him.”

Now whenever any public figure is made to answer for their former bad self, they go on an apology tour where they say all the right things about being a work in progress, and learning and listening, and so on. Rarely do they break down the actual specifics of what they said, why it was wrong and why they regret it. But Albini, when I asked him about his public reassessment of his past sins, was pretty no nonsense. “I thought it was important to explain how some of the uglier and more confrontational aspects of my speech and behaviour came about,” he said.

It would be naive to claim that someone like Albini might serve as a “model” for how others might revisit their past failures. He didn’t have a tidy series of epiphanies fit for a TED talk; instead he slowly changed his mind over a long period of time. Still, it was instructive to hear him connect the dots about why he had felt entitled to talk the way he once did. “It’s exhilarating to feel like there’s this forbidden area that you’re not allowed to participate in, and when you go in it, you feel like you’ve discovered a tropical island: ‘They told me there was nothing here, and look, there’s something here,’” he said. “I understand that exhilaration.” But, he added, “I also know that we’re not as safe from historical evil as I believed we were when I was playing with evil imagery.”

In 1985, for instance, Big Black released a single called Il Duce, whose cover featured a stylised rendition of Benito Mussolini, and which was dedicated, in tongue-in-cheek fashion, to the Italian dictator. “We gave ourselves licence to play with this language because we felt no threat from it,” he told me. “We thought [the far right] was a historical anomaly, a joke for lonely losers. Even as the right wing became more openly fascist, we were still safe – and that’s where my sense of responsibility kicks in, like: ‘Oh yeah, I get it now. I was never going to be the one that they targeted.’”

On top of his work as musician and engineer, Albini is an accomplished poker player: last summer he won $196,089 and earned his second bracelet at the World Series of Poker, which in layman’s terms is an award you get for being really, really good at playing poker. But there was a deeper meaning behind his attraction to the game, he explained. “In poker, there’s a layer of deception where you sometimes do things that are intended to be misleading,” he said. “In my regular life, if I tell somebody something, I want them to believe me. I’m not trying to induce mistakes in the people I interact with.” Poker was the only realm in which it felt appropriate to lie.

It was a neat summation of why he was talking so directly about his past pronouncements, and why he regretted them now. “It’s not about being liked,” he said, as we sat at Electrical Audio. “It’s me owning up to my role in a shift in culture that directly caused harm to people I’m sympathetic with, and people I want to be a comrade to.

“The one thing I don’t want to do is say: ‘The culture shifted – excuse my behaviour.’ It provides a context for why I was wrong at the time, but I was wrong at the time.”

It was a clear and honest apology, and it was the truth. And with that, we both fell silent for what felt like the first time since we’d met."]]></description>
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<item rdf:about="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3zfMUBTDl0">
    <title>Why Language is Always Changing with Valerie Fridland - Factually! - 214 - YouTube</title>
    <dc:date>2023-06-14T15:24:34+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3zfMUBTDl0</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Language changes, and that's not a bad thing! This week, Adam is joined by sociolinguist Valerie Fridland to uncover how language is much more malleable than we're led to believe, and how the resistance against new slang often disguises an attempt to limit the influence of marginalized communities."

[Book here:

Like, Literally, Dude: arguing for the Good in Bad English, by Valerie Fridland
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/671558/like-literally-dude-by-valerie-fridland/

"ABOUT LIKE, LITERALLY, DUDE
“With easygoing authority… [Fridland] offers context, and a welcoming spirit, to the many contentious realignments in our language.”—The Wall Street Journal

“Smart and funny—I loved it!” —Mignon Fogarty, author of New York Times bestseller Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing

A lively linguistic exploration of the speech habits we love to hate—and why our “like”s  and “literally”s actually make us better communicators

Paranoid about the “ums” and “uhs” that pepper your presentations? Concerned that people notice your vocal fry? Bewildered by “hella” or the meteoric rise of “so”?  What if these features of our speech weren’t a sign of cultural and linguistic degeneration, but rather, some of the most dynamic and revolutionary tools at our disposal?

In Like, Literally, Dude, linguist Valerie Fridland shows how we can re-imagine these forms as exciting new linguistic frontiers rather than our culture’s impending demise. With delightful irreverence and expertise built over two decades of research, Fridland weaves together history, psychology, science, and laugh-out-loud anecdotes to explain why we speak the way we do today, and how that impacts what our kids may be saying tomorrow. She teaches us that language is both function and fashion, and that though we often blame the young, the female, and the uneducated for its downfall, we should actually thank them for their linguistic ingenuity.

By exploring the dark corners every English teacher has taught us to avoid, Like, Literally, Dude redeems our most pilloried linguistic quirks, arguing that they are fundamental to our social, professional, and romantic success—perhaps even more so than our clothing or our resumes. It explains how filled pauses benefit both speakers and listeners; how the use of “dude” can help people bond across social divides; why we’re always trying to make our intensifiers ever more intense; as well as many other language tics, habits, and developments.

Language change is natural, built into the language system itself, and we wouldn’t be who we are without it. Like, Literally, Dude celebrates the dynamic, ongoing, and empowering evolution of language, and it will speak to anyone who talks, or listens, inspiring them to communicate dynamically and effectively in their daily lives."]]]></description>
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    <title>Lyn Hejinian: The Pearl Anderson Sherry Memorial Poet Lecture, UChicago Poem Presents Series - YouTube</title>
    <dc:date>2022-11-20T05:03:03+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFNPZljjhE0</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA[[part 2 (poetry reading):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpfaFUyur7g ]]]></description>
<dc:subject>2011 lynhejinian gertudestein pablopicasso howwewrite writing poetry lateness belatedness identity grammar time language vocabulary 20thcentury literature utopia situationist memory everyday memories via:shiraz repetition redundancy structure vitality remembering allegory walterbenjamin williamjames theodoradorno narrative situated temporality modernart leostein cézanne tenderbuttons lucychurchamiably matisse modernism capitalism work labor latecapitalism hungergames dysphoria carynelson edwardleemasters cowboypoetry art comfort insight elevation truth pleasure amusement anectdote henrywadsworthlongfellow diction julianaspahr kierkegaard beginners beginning picasso latestagecapitalism</dc:subject>
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<item rdf:about="https://newsletter.galavantmedia.org/archive/watch-them-seethe-when-stimulated-6907/">
    <title>Watch them seethe when stimulated</title>
    <dc:date>2022-10-17T19:37:41+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://newsletter.galavantmedia.org/archive/watch-them-seethe-when-stimulated-6907/</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Somewhere, in the Discourse about Ye and Elon, is a forgetting.

Subject / object collision and conflict, media mediated.

We (that media we) show ourselves ill-equipped to learn and lacking in both sensitivity and sensibility when confronted with everything from how auditory processing works to turning vulnerable people’s lives into political theatre.

We (that media we) love an appeal to precedent, rarely reflect on who set those norms and who benefited from the enforcement thereof.

Every day demands that we (not only that media we) ask better questions and instead we (ibid.) look for solace in answers written to describe a different time, another place.

Sometimes you hear “there was no golden era” but that’s not true; there always was, for some. There never has been, for all. What makes us more uncomfortable?

I think often of something Dr. Pat Bishop used to say, “until all have crossed, none have crossed, and some we have to carry.”

Dr. Bishop was a brilliant and fundamentally generous person who saw possibility and potential and beauty everywhere.

Some people, some we have to drag.

Attribution
Boil over—it’s what the nerves do,
Watch them seethe when stimulated,

Murmurs the man at the stove
To the one at the fridge—

Watch that electric impulse that finally makes them
Fume and fizz at either

Frayed end.

— from Boil by Alicia Ostriker"]]></description>
<dc:subject>stacy-marieishmael 2022 aliciaostriker kanyewest elonmusk forgetting media sensitivity sensibility vulnerability precedent norms normal enforcement time comfort patbishop</dc:subject>
<dc:source>https://pinboard.in/</dc:source>
<dc:identifier>https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/b:1495ab66f1c5/</dc:identifier>
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</item>
<item rdf:about="https://www.dismantlingracism.org/uploads/4/3/5/7/43579015/okun_-_white_sup_culture.pdf">
    <title>White Supremacy Culture, by Tema Okun [.pdf]</title>
    <dc:date>2021-05-31T20:15:35+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.dismantlingracism.org/uploads/4/3/5/7/43579015/okun_-_white_sup_culture.pdf</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA[[also here:
https://www.are.na/block/5576670
https://www.showingupforracialjustice.org/white-supremacy-culture-characteristics.html ]

This is a list of characteristics of white supremacy culture that show up in our organizations. Culture is powerful precisely because it is so present and at the same time so very difficult to name or identify. The characteristics listed below are damaging because they are used as norms and standards without being proactively named or chosen by the group. They are damaging because they promote white supremacy thinking. Because we all live in a white supremacy culture, these characteristics show up in the attitudes and behaviors of all of us – people of color and white people. Therefore, these attitudes and behaviors can show up in any group or organization, whether it is white-led or predominantly white or people of color-led or predominantly people of color. 

[See also:

dRworks
https://www.dismantlingracism.org
http://www.dismantlingracism.org/white-supremacy-culture.html
https://resourcegeneration.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/2016-dRworks-workbook.pdf

https://ssir.org/articles/entry/the_bias_of_professionalism_standards
https://www.showingupforracialjustice.org/white-supremacy-culture-characteristics.html
https://dei.extension.org/extension-resource/white-supremacy-culture/
https://surjpoliticaledsite.weebly.com/white-supremacy-culture.html
https://www.racialequitytools.org/images/uploads/N._White_Culture_Handout.pdf ]]]></description>
<dc:subject>temaokun racism whitesupremacy canon race patriarchy paternalism culture whiteness urgency perfectionism defensiveness quantity auantityofverquality quality productivity writing form individualism powerhoarding progress objectivity oppression comfort work workplace</dc:subject>
<dc:source>https://pinboard.in/</dc:source>
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<item rdf:about="https://twitter.com/keguro_/status/1284321417635430405">
    <title>k'eguro on Twitter: &quot;a syllabus sometimes you want chronology - how an idea or practice unfolds over time or geohistory sometimes you want juxtaposition - how related and competing things speak to and past each other sometimes you want cluster - how thing</title>
    <dc:date>2020-07-21T10:25:26+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://twitter.com/keguro_/status/1284321417635430405</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["a syllabus

sometimes you want chronology - how an idea or practice unfolds over time or geohistory

sometimes you want juxtaposition - how related and competing things speak to and past each other

sometimes you want cluster - how things gather and clutch

sometimes you want surprise - throw in a bunch of stuff you haven't read

sometimes you want comfort - assemble things that soothe and heal

at all times, there is intent, even within constraint

my trained incapacity compels me to think about the syllabus, not the list, not the bibliography

because I want to be intentional

Janine Holc (@HolcJanine):

Sometimes you want the detour

k'eguro (@keguro_):

Yes!

I love this."]]></description>
<dc:subject>keguromacharia 2020 form howwewrite howwethink syllabus syllabi bibliographies lists chronology time linearity alinear juxtaposition relativism relation clusters surprise comfort intention detour janineholc constraint nonlinear</dc:subject>
<dc:source>https://pinboard.in/</dc:source>
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</item>
<item rdf:about="https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2019/09/03/the-brief-idyll-of-late-90s-wong-kar-wai/">
    <title>The Brief Idyll of Late-Nineties Wong Kar-Wai</title>
    <dc:date>2019-09-09T19:56:59+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2019/09/03/the-brief-idyll-of-late-90s-wong-kar-wai/</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["In the summer of 1997 I was living in London, trying to figure out what to do with my life. I’d left college and had been in the city for a year, trying, like so many other twentysomethings, to write a novel. I’d given myself a year, but as the chapters took shape so did a curious tension about the way my life was playing out. Part of me was exhilarated and determined: I was writing about a country and people—my people—that did not exist in the pages of formal literature; I was exploring sexual and emotional boundaries, forming relationships with people who seemed mostly wrong for me, but whose unsuitability seemed so right; I was starting, I thought, to untangle the various strands of my cultural identity: Chinese, Malaysian, and above all, what it meant to be foreign, an outsider.

But the increasing clarity of all this was troubled by a growing unsettledness: I had imagined that the act of writing my country and people into existence would make me feel closer to them, but instead I felt more distant. The physical separation between me and my family in Malaysia, which had, up to then, been a source of liberation, now created a deep anxiety. All of a sudden I saw the huge gulf between the person I had been and the one I now was. In the space of just five or six years, university education had given me a different view of life, a different appreciation of its choices. My tastes had evolved, the way I used language had changed—not just in terms of syntax and grammar but the very fact that standard English was now my daily language, rather than the rich mixture of Malay, Cantonese, Mandarin, and Malaysian slang that I had used exclusively until the age of eighteen. I was writing about the place I was from, about the people I loved (and hated), but felt a million miles from them.

All around me, the world seemed to be repositioning itself in ways that seemed to mirror this exciting/confusing tension within me. Britain was in the grip of Cool Britannia fever, and London—multicultural, newly confident after the Labour Party’s victory in the elections—seemed to be the most exciting place on the planet, a city where minority groups of all kinds suddenly found their voice and artistic expression flourished alongside capitalism. On the other side of the world, where my family and friends lived, however, the 1997 Asian Financial Crisis had just erupted, bringing the previously buoyant economies of Southeast Asia to their knees. On the phone with my parents, I heard news of one friend after another who’d lost their job or business. A new anxiety lurked in the voices of all those I spoke to in Malaysia and elsewhere in the region: an unspoken fear of civil unrest, of anti-Chinese violence that inhabited the passages of our histories in times of crisis. These fears were not unfounded: less than a year later, in Jakarta, where my father worked at the time, widespread anti-Chinese riots led to the murders of over a thousand people and hundreds of incidents of rape and burning of Chinese-owned property and businesses. Stay where you are, don’t come back, various friends cautioned.

On TV, I watched the handover of Hong Kong to China after one hundred years of British colonial rule, a transition that felt at once thrilling and scary: the passing of a country from one regime to another, with no one able to predict how the future would pan out. My sister, who had recently moved to Hong Kong to find work, decided that it would change nothing for her, and that she would stay.

I sank deeper into the world of my novel. I sought refuge in a place where I was in control—but even there, things weren’t working out. My characters were all divorced from their surroundings, trying to figure out how to live in a world on the cusp of change. They fell in love with all the wrong people. They didn’t belong to the country they lived in. I wanted the novel to be an antidote to the confusion around me but it wanted to be part of that mess. I was exhausted by it and by the end of that year, abandoned the manuscript.

It was exactly at that time that Wong Kar-Wai’s Happy Together found its way into the art house movie theaters of Europe. That summer he had won the Best Director prize at Cannes for the film—the first non-Japanese Asian to do so—and I’d seen the movie posters in magazines: Tony Leung and Leslie Cheung sitting dreamily in the back of a car, their faces bathed in a hypnotic yellow light. I’d grown up with these actors, iconic figures in Asian pop culture. I’d seen all their movies, and like so many of my contemporaries, knew the words to all the Leslie Cheung songs, which still take up several gigabytes of memory on my iPhone. I’d seen and swooned over Wong Kar-Wai’s previous films, Chungking Express and Fallen Angels, as well as a curious early work called Days of Being Wild, set partly in the Philippines and also starring Leslie Cheung. I thought I knew what to expect from Happy Together. It turned out that I had no idea at all.

It’s impossible to describe the intense rush of blood to the head that I felt on seeing these two leading actors—young, handsome, but somehow old beyond their years—in the opening scene. They are in a small bed in a boarding house in Buenos Aires. They are far from home, wondering what to do with their lives, how to make their relationship work again. Within seconds they are making love—a boyish tussle with playful ass-slapping that morphs quickly into the kind of rough, quick sex that usually happens between strangers, not long-term partners.

It was the end of the twentieth century; I had watched countless European movies where explicit sex was so much a part of the moviemaking vocabulary that it had long since lost the ability to shock me. But the people in this film were not random French or German actors, they were familiar figures of my childhood, spitting into their hands to lubricate their fucking.

The two men are partners in a turbulent relationship with extreme highs and lows. They travel to Argentina—as far away from home as possible—to try and salvage what they can of their love. Their dream is to travel to see the Iguaçu Falls, a journey which takes on totemic qualities as the movie progresses and their relationship once again falters. They break up. Tony Leung takes a lousy job as a doorman at a tango bar; Leslie Cheung—promiscuous, volatile—becomes a sort of rent boy, though the precise nature of his relationships with other men is never clearly defined. (Over the years I’ve developed a resistance to remembering the characters’ names, wanting, I guess, to imagine that Tony Leung and Leslie Cheung were actually in a relationship.) Leslie drifts in and out of Tony Leung’s life, sometimes bringing his tricks to the bar where Tony works. From time to time they appear ready to get back together again, but they always miss their chance to connect—often in a literal sense, for example when one goes looking for the other, but goes into one door just as the other emerges from an adjacent one.

Their relationship is a series of missed connections, but it is more tragic than two people simply being in the wrong frame of mind at the wrong time. It is impossible for the men to achieve intimacy because they are unable to carve out their place in the world—neither in Buenos Aires nor in Hong Kong, which is referred to often but never in comforting or nostalgic terms. Their new city is not welcoming, and neither is their home country. The same set of problems they escaped from home to avoid follow them to this strange foreign place. The Buenos Aires they inhabit is at once real and unreal, sometimes gritty, other times so dreamy it seems like an imagined city. The mesmerizing visuals that Christopher Doyle created for that film (and would carry into Wong Kar-Wai’s future works) make us feel as if the characters are floating through the city, incapable of affixing themselves to it.

Late in the film, a major new character is introduced—an innocent, uncomplicated young man from Taiwan played by Chang Chen, who works in the Chinese restaurant where Tony Leung has found employment. They form a close friendship, one that seems nourishing and stable. But Tony Leung is still preoccupied by Leslie Cheung, even though they are no longer together. Does Chang Chen feel more for Tony Leung than mere friendship? Almost certainly, he does. He goes to Ushuaia, the farthest point of the Americas, but Tony Leung chooses to remain in Buenos Aires. Those missed connections again: that impossibility, for Tony Leung at least, to figure out how he truly feels because he is too far from home, cut off from his points of reference. That intense separation should have brought him objectivity; he should have gained clarity of thought and emotion. Instead his feelings remain trapped in a place he wants to leave behind, but is unable to forget.

In the closing scenes, Tony Leung finally manages to leave Buenos Aires and travels not to Hong Kong but Taipei. He goes to the night market where Chang Chen’s family runs a food store. Chang Chen isn’t there, he is still traveling the world. “I finally understood how he could be happy running around so free,” Tony Leung says in his low, sad, matter-of-fact voice-over. “It’s because he has a place he can always return to.”

When I think of that period in 1997, when I couldn’t walk down the street or fall asleep without seeing Tony and Leslie dancing the tango in a squalid kitchen, or hearing Caetano Veloso’s featherlight voice hovering over ravishing images of the Iguaçu Falls—I can’t help but think that we were in a short era of innocence before the complicated decades that lay ahead. The Hong Kong that Wong Kar-Wai refers to in that movie no longer exists. The film’s original title is 春光乍洩, which means the first emergence of spring sunshine—or, more idiomatically, a glimpse of something intimate. But perhaps it refers also to that brief moment of openness and acceptance, when our vulnerability was allowed to be a natural part of our world, only to give way once again to an era of victimization,  divisiveness, and ever-narrowing boundaries."]]></description>
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<item rdf:about="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/19/arts/queer-eye-kondo-makeover.html">
    <title>The New Spiritual Consumerism - The New York Times</title>
    <dc:date>2019-08-20T23:35:30+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/19/arts/queer-eye-kondo-makeover.html</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["How did you spend your summer vacation? I spent mine in a dissociative fugue of materialist excess, lying prone on my couch and watching all four seasons of “Queer Eye,” the Netflix makeover show reboot. Once an hour, I briefly regained consciousness to feverishly click the “next episode” button so that I wouldn’t have to wait five seconds for it to play automatically. Even when I closed my laptop, the theme song played on endless loop as Jonathan Van Ness vogued through my subconscious. The show is a triumph of consumer spectacle, and now it has consumed me, too.

Every episode is the same. Five queer experts in various aesthetic practices conspire to make over some helpless individual. Tan France (fashion) teaches him to tuck the front of his shirt into his pants; Bobby Berk (design) paints his walls black and plants a fiddle-leaf fig; Antoni Porowski (food) shows him how to cut an avocado; Jonathan Van Ness (grooming) shouts personal affirmations while shaping his beard; and Karamo Brown (“culture”) stages some kind of trust-building exercise that doubles as an amateur therapy session. Then, they retreat to a chic loft, pass around celebratory cocktails and watch a video of their subject attempting to maintain his new and superior lifestyle. The makeover squad cries, and if you are human, you cry too.

Because “Queer Eye” is not just a makeover. As its gurus lead the men (and occasionally, women) in dabbing on eye cream, selecting West Elm furniture, preparing squid-ink risotto and acquiring gym memberships, they are building the metaphorical framework for an internal transformation. Their salves penetrate the skin barrier to soothe loneliness, anxiety, depression, grief, low self-esteem, absentee parenting and hoarding tendencies. The makeover is styled as an almost spiritual conversion. It’s the meaning of life as divined through upgraded consumer choices.

Just a few years ago, American culture was embracing its surface delights with a nihilistic zeal. Its reality queens were the Kardashians, a family that became rich and famous through branding its own wealth and fame. “Generation Wealth,” Lauren Greenfield’s 2018 documentary on American excess, captured portraits of people who crave luxury, beauty and cash as ends in and of themselves. Donald Trump, the king of 1980s extravagance, was elected president.

But lately American materialism is debuting a new look. Shopping, decorating, grooming and sculpting are now jumping with meaning. And a purchase need not have any explicit social byproduct — the materials eco-friendly, or the proceeds donated to charity — to be weighted with significance. Pampering itself has taken on a spiritual urgency.

Practitioners of this new style often locate its intellectual underpinnings in the work of Audre Lorde. But when Lorde wrote, in her 1988 essay “A Burst of Light,” that “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare,” she was speaking in the context of managing her liver cancer — and doing it as a black lesbian whose health and well-being were not prioritized in America.

Now the ethos of “self-care” has infiltrated every consumer category. The logic of GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow’s luxury brand that sells skin serums infused with the branding of intuition, karma and healing, is being reproduced on an enormous scale.

Women’s shoes, bras, razors, tampons and exclusive private clubs are stamped with the language of empowerment. SoulCycle and Equinox conceive of exercise as not just a lifestyle but a closely held identity, which backfired when some members were aggrieved by the news that the chairman of the brands’ parent company is a financial supporter of President Trump. Therapy memes imagine mental health professionals prescribing consumerist fixes, which are then repurposed by beauty brands. Even Kim Kardashian West is pivoting to the soul: Her latest project is launching a celebrity church with her husband, Kanye West.

[embedded tweet by Benefit Cosmetics US (@BenefitBeauty):

"Therapist: and what do we do when we feel sad?

Me: go to @Sephora 

Therapist:

Me: 

Therapist: I’ll drive"]

And through the cleaning guru Marie Kondo, who also became a Netflix personality this year, even tidying objects can be considered a spiritual calling. Her work suggests that objects don’t just make us feel good — objects feel things, too. She writes of old books that must be woken up with a brush of the fingertips and socks that sigh with relief at being properly folded.

“Queer Eye” has further elevated material comforts into an almost political stance. When the reboot of the original — which ran on Bravo from 2003 to 2007, as “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” — debuted last year, Netflix announced that it intended to “make America fabulous again” by sending its crew deep into the red states to “turn them pink.” By preaching self-care to the men of Middle America — it has so far plucked its makeover subjects from Georgia, Missouri and Kansas — the show would heal the nation itself through the power of stuff.

Is “Queer Eye” a political show? In a sense, yes. Van Ness, the show’s profoundly magnetic grooming expert, rocks a signature look of a Jesus beard, mermaid hair, painted nails and high-heeled booties. His fashion and grooming choices have an obvious political valence; he recently came out as non-binary. When he makes over some straight dude, it is as if he is imbuing the process with his own transgressive identity, even if he’s grooming the guy into a standard-issue cool dad.

Anyway, it’s wonderful to watch. In contrast, the original “Queer Eye” no longer goes down so easy. The show’s exclusive focus on providing men with physical upgrades now plays as cynical. The Fab Five ridicule their marks as much as they help them. More than a decade before same-sex marriage would be legalized across the United States, these five out gay men were quite obviously punching up.

But in the new version, the power dynamic has flipped. The difference between the Fab Five and their charges is no longer chiefly one of sexual orientation or gender identity. (This “Queer Eye” also provides makeovers to gay men and to women.) The clear but unspoken distinction is a class one.

Marie Kondo in “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo.”CreditDenise Crew/Netflix
The “Queer Eye” cast may come from humble beginnings, but they now reside in coastal cultural centers and hold fulfilling and lucrative jobs. Their makeover subjects are lower- and middle-class people who are, though it is rarely put this way, struggling financially. This “Queer Eye” handles them gently. As Van Ness puts it in one episode: “We’re nonjudgmental queens.”

It’s a little bit curious that as our political discourse is concerned with economic inequality — and the soaring costs of health care, education and homes — the cultural conversation is fixated on the healing powers of luxury items. What does it mean, that materialism is now so meaningful? “Generation Wealth” posits that extreme spending is a symptom of a civilization in decline. Americans may not have what they need, but at least they can get what they want, even if it’s on credit.

The writer and performer Amanda-Faye Jimenez recently posted a meme to Instagram of a child swinging blithely on the playground as a fire rages in the forest behind him. The forest is tagged: “My personal life and career.” The child: “The skincare routine.”

[embeded IG post]

Material comforts are comforting: cooking a nice and interesting meal; living in a tidy and beautiful space; soothing tired eyes with a cool mask. And money helps you get money: The subjects of “Queer Eye” are typically made over in a standard professional style, as if they are being retrofitted for the work force. Surreptitiously, “Queer Eye” provides vacation time, too: Its subjects somehow receive a week off from work to focus on themselves.

The trouble is that when “Queer Eye” offers these comforts, the show implies that its subjects have previously lacked them because of some personal failure. They have been insufficiently confident, skilled, self-aware, dedicated or emotionally vulnerable. The spiritual conversion of the show occurs when the subject pledges a personal commitment to maintaining a new lifestyle going forward. But what these people need is not a new perspective. They need money, and they need time, which is money.

“Queer Eye” offers a kind of simulation of wealth redistribution. But every time the Fab Five retreats from the scene, I imagine the freshly-painted homes slowly falling into disrepair, the beards growing shaggy again, the refrigerators emptying.

In the fourth season, which dropped last month, the team makes over a single dad from Kansas City who is known as “the cat suit guy” because he wears feline print onesies to local sporting events. By the end, he gets a new corporate casual wardrobe, and a pop-up support network for his depression — he struggled to discuss it with anyone until the cast of “Queer Eye” broke through his shell.

As they prepare to leave, he tells them that he really needs them to stay in touch. “You’ve got to check on me,” he says. Absolutely, one of them says: “On Instagram.”"]]></description>
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<item rdf:about="https://thecreativeindependent.com/people/ocean-vuong-on-being-generous-in-your-work/">
    <title>Ocean Vuong on being generous in your work [The Creative Independent]</title>
    <dc:date>2019-04-27T21:34:38+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://thecreativeindependent.com/people/ocean-vuong-on-being-generous-in-your-work/</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["I find a home in feeling. I feel at home in feeling. When I collaborate or talk with my friends, the place doesn’t matter. We could be on Mars and it would feel like home, because I feel free. I can be myself. I can be uber-queer, uber-strange, and we can be uber-curious with one another. That’s comforting.  Perhaps it’s even harder to protect a home that doesn’t exist in a physical space, because we have to continually tend to this abstract feeling: “How do I create the parameters in which I am safe enough to be free amongst my peers?”

My whole artistic life has been in New York City—the past 11 years—and I learned that one has to work. Competition is a patriarchal structure that privileges conquest. The most pivotal thing for me as an artist was to be able to say “no” to those structures in order to say “yes” to the structures I want to create. That’s why it’s so scary."

…

"Take the long way home, if you can."

…

"Competition, prizes and awards are part of a patriarchal construct that destroys love and creativity by creating and protecting a singular hierarchical commodification of quality that does not, ever, represent the myriad successful expressions of art and art making. If you must use that construct, you use it the way one uses public transport. Get on, then get off at your stop and find your people. Don’t live on the bus, and most importantly, don’t get trapped on it."

…

"The agency for joy is safety—and vice versa. It is not a place, but a feeling. But you can see it, even in the dark."]]></description>
<dc:subject>oceanvuong competition prizes awards patriarchy hierarchy love creativity art poetry conquest 2019 commodification canon capitalism neoliberalism freedom artmaking making privilege joy safety slow small meaning purpose beauty relationships identity expression home comfort collaboration</dc:subject>
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<item rdf:about="https://lithub.com/rebecca-solnit-when-the-hero-is-the-problem/">
    <title>Rebecca Solnit: When the Hero is the Problem | Literary Hub</title>
    <dc:date>2019-04-24T18:14:44+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://lithub.com/rebecca-solnit-when-the-hero-is-the-problem/</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Positive social change results mostly from connecting more deeply to the people around you than rising above them, from coordinated rather than solo action. Among the virtues that matter are those traditionally considered feminine rather than masculine, more nerd than jock: listening, respect, patience, negotiation, strategic planning, storytelling. But we like our lone and exceptional heroes, and the drama of violence and virtue of muscle, or at least that’s what we get, over and over, and in the course of getting them we don’t get much of a picture of how change happens and what our role in it might be, or how ordinary people matter. “Unhappy the land that needs heroes” is a line of Bertold Brecht’s I’ve gone to dozens of times, but now I’m more inclined to think, pity the land that thinks it needs a hero, or doesn’t know it has lots and what they look like."

…

"William James said of the 1906 earthquake in San Francisco, “Surely the cutting edge of all our usual misfortunes comes from their character of loneliness.” That is, if I lose my home, I’m cast out among those who remain comfortable, but if we all lose our homes in the earthquake, we’re in this together. One of my favorite sentences from a 1906 survivor is this: “Then when the dynamite explosions were making the night noisy and keeping everybody awake and anxious, the girls or some of the refugees would start playing the piano, and Billy Delaney and other folks would start singing; so that the place became quite homey and sociable, considering it was on the sidewalk, outside the high school, and the town all around it was on fire.”

I don’t know what Billy Delaney or the girls sang, or what stories the oat gatherers Le Guin writes about might have told. But I do have a metaphor, which is itself a kind of carrier bag and metaphor literally means to carry something beyond, carrying being the basic thing language does, language being great nets we weave to hold meaning. Jonathan Jones, an indigenous Wiradjuri/Kamilaroi Australian artist, has an installation—a great infinity-loop figure eight of feathered objects on a curving wall in the Asia-Pacific Triennial of Contemporary Art in Brisbane that mimics a murmuration, one of those great flocks of birds in flight that seems to swell and contract and shift as the myriad individual creatures climb and bank and turn together, not crashing into each other, not drifting apart.

From a distance Jones’s objects look like birds; up close they are traditional tools of stick and stone with feathers attached, tools of making taking flight. The feathers were given to him by hundreds who responded to the call he put out, a murmuration of gatherers. “I’m interested in this idea of collective thinking,” he told a journalist. “How the formation of really beautiful patterns and arrangements in the sky can help us potentially start to understand how we exist in this country, how we operate together, how we can all call ourselves Australians. That we all have our own little ideas which can somehow come together to make something bigger.”

What are human murmurations, I wondered? They are, speaking of choruses, in Horton Hears a Who, the tiny Whos of Whoville, who find that if every last one of them raises their voice, they become loud enough to save their home. They are a million and a half young people across the globe on March 15 protesting climate change, coalitions led by Native people holding back fossil fuel pipelines across Canada, the lawyers and others who converged on airports all over the US on January 29, 2017, to protest the Muslim ban.

They are the hundreds who turned out in Victoria, BC, to protect a mosque there during Friday prayers the week after the shooting in Christchurch, New Zealand. My cousin Jessica was one of them, and she wrote about how deeply moving it was for her, “At the end, when prayers were over, and the mosque was emptying onto the street, if felt like a wedding, a celebration of love and joy. We all shook hands and hugged and spoke kindly to each other—Muslim, Jew, Christian, Sikh, Buddhist, atheist…” We don’t have enough art to make us see and prize these human murmurations even when they are all around us, even when they are doing the most important work on earth."]]></description>
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<item rdf:about="https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/04/15/711213752/for-kids-with-anxiety-parents-learn-to-let-them-face-their-fears">
    <title>For Anxious Kids, Parents May Need To Learn To Let Them Face Their Fears : Shots - Health News : NPR</title>
    <dc:date>2019-04-16T21:10:42+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/04/15/711213752/for-kids-with-anxiety-parents-learn-to-let-them-face-their-fears</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["For instance, when Joseph would get scared about sleeping alone, Jessica and her husband, Chris Calise, did what he asked and comforted him. "In my mind, I was doing the right thing," she says. "I would say, 'I'm right outside the door' or 'Come sleep in my bed.' I'd do whatever I could to make him feel not anxious or worried."

But this comforting — something psychologists call accommodation — can actually be counterproductive for children with anxiety disorders, Lebowitz says.

"These accommodations lead to worse anxiety in their child, rather than less anxiety," he says. That's because the child is always relying on the parents, he explains, so kids never learn to deal with stressful situations on their own and never learn they have the ability to cope with these moments.

"When you provide a lot of accommodation, the unspoken message is, 'You can't do this, so I'm going to help you,' " he says.

Lebowitz wondered if it would help to train parents to change that message and to encourage their children to face anxieties rather than flee from them.

Currently the established treatment for childhood anxiety is cognitive behavioral therapy delivered directly to the child.

When researchers have tried to involve parents in their child's therapy in the past, the outcomes from studies suggested that training parents in cognitive behavioral therapy didn't make much of a difference for the child's recovery. Lebowitz says that this might be because cognitive behavioral therapy asks the child to change their behavior. "When you ask the parents to change their child's behavior, you are setting them up for a very difficult interaction," he says.

Instead, Lebowitz's research explores whether training only the parents without including direct child therapy can help. He is running experiments to compare cognitive behavioral therapy for the child with parent-only training. A study of the approach appeared in the Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry last month."]]></description>
<dc:subject>children parenting anxiety 2019 elilebowitz fear psychology accommodation comfort behavior</dc:subject>
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<item rdf:about="https://jacobinmag.com/2018/12/hygge-holidays-design-denmark-social-democracy-solidarity">
    <title>You Don’t Want Hygge. You Want Social Democracy.</title>
    <dc:date>2018-12-29T20:26:19+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://jacobinmag.com/2018/12/hygge-holidays-design-denmark-social-democracy-solidarity</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["It’s the holidays, and you long to be cozy.

You want to curl up in a plush armchair next to a crackling fire. You want the softest of blankets and wooliest of sweaters. You want to devour grandma’s pecan fudge, get tipsy on eggnog with your cousins, and watch Miracle on 34th Street — mom’s favorite — for the thirty-fourth time. Or maybe neither Christmas nor family gatherings are your thing, but you like the idea of sipping hot toddies and playing board games with a few close friends while outside the snow falls and the lights twinkle.

But you can’t have it, because you couldn’t spring for a plane ticket. Or relatives are in town, but times are tight, and it seemed irresponsible to pass up the Christmas overtime pay. Maybe everything circumstantially fell into place, but you can’t relax. You’re eyeing your inbox, anxious about the work that’s not getting done. You’re last-minute shopping, pinching pennies, thinking Scrooge had some fair points. Or you’re hiding in your childhood bedroom, binge-watching television and scrolling social media, because a rare break from the pressures of daily life feels more like an occasion to zone out than to celebrate and be merry.

Either way, you feel terrible, because you know that someone somewhere is literally roasting chestnuts on an open fire, and you’re missing out.

The Danes have a word for the thing you desperately want but can’t seem to manifest: hygge.

The word isn’t easy to translate. It comes from a Norwegian word that means “wellbeing,” but the contemporary Danish definition is more expansive than that.

In The Little Book of Hygge: Danish Secrets to Happy Living, author Meik Wiking writes, “Hygge is about an atmosphere and an experience, rather than about things. It’s about being with the people we love. A feeling of home. A feeling that we are safe, that we are shielded from the world and allowed to let our guard down.”

You can have hygge any time, but Danes strongly associate it with Christmas, the most hyggelig time of the year. When asked what things they associate most with hygge, Danes answered, in order of importance: hot drinks, candles, fireplaces, Christmas, board games, music, holiday, sweets and cake, cooking, and books. Seven out of ten Danes say hygge is best experienced at home, and they even have a word for it — hjemmehygge, or home hygge.

But Wiking stresses that while hygge has strong aesthetic properties, it’s more than the sum of its parts. You don’t just see it, you feel it.

“Hygge is an indication that you trust the ones you are with and where you are,” he writes, “that you have expanded your comfort zone to include other people and you feel you can be completely yourself around other people.” The opposite of hygge is alienation.

It’s no coincidence that this concept is both native to and universally understood in the same country that consistently dominates the World Happiness Report and other annual surveys of general contentment. On rare occasions when Denmark is surpassed by another country, that country is always a Scandinavian neighbor.

What makes people in these countries happier than the rest of us is actually really simple. Danes and their neighbors have greater access to the building blocks of happiness: time, company, and security.

Scandinavians don’t have these things just because they value them more, or for cultural reasons that are congenital, irreplicable, and beyond our reach. People all over the world value time, company, and security. What Scandinavians do have is a political-economic arrangement that better facilitates the regular expression of those values. That arrangement is social democracy.

The Politics of Hygge

Denmark is not a socialist country, though like its neighbor Sweden, it did come close to collectivizing industry in the 1970s. That effort was driven by “unions, popular movements, and left parties,” write Andreas Møller Mulvad and Rune Møller Stahl in Jacobin. “It was these mass forces — not benevolent elites, carefully weighing the alternatives before deciding on an enlightened mix of capitalism and socialism — who were the architects and impetus behind the Nordic model. They are the ones responsible for making the Nordic countries among the happiest and most democratic in the world.”

A strong capitalist offensive stopped this Scandinavian coalition from realizing the transition to socialism, and the legacy of their efforts is a delicate compromise. The private sector persists, but taxes are both progressive and high across the board. The country spends 55 percent of its total GDP publicly, making it the third-highest government spender per capita in the world. Meanwhile, the power of employers is partially checked by strong unions, to which two-thirds of Danes belong.

This redistributive arrangement significantly reduces the class stratification that comes from capitalism. As a result, Denmark has one of the highest degrees of economic equality in the world.

All of that public spending goes to funding a strong welfare state. Everybody pays in, and everybody reaps the rewards. This egalitarian, humane, and solidaristic model allows the values associated with hygge to flourish. It also gives people more opportunities to act on them.

In Denmark, health care is free at the point of service. Same goes for education, all the way through college and even grad school. Twenty percent of the Danish housing stock is social housing, regulated and financially supported by the state but owned in common by tenants, and organized in the “tradition of tenants’ participation and self-governance.” Denmark offers year-long paid parental leave, and guarantees universal child care for all children beginning the moment that leave ends, when the child is one year old.

Similarly, due in large part to the past and and present strength of unions, Denmark has worker-friendly labor laws and standards which make for a more harmonious work-life balance. Danes get five weeks’ paid vacation, plus an additional nine public holidays. Unlike the United States, Denmark has a national paid sick-leave policy. Denmark also has generous unemployment benefits and a wage subsidy program for people who want to work but, for reasons outside their control, need more flexible arrangements.

The normal work week in Denmark is set at thirty-seven hours, and people tend to stick to it. Only 2 percent of Danes report working very long hours. In a survey of OECD countries Denmark ranked fourth for people spending the most time devoted to leisure and personal care. (The US ranked thirtieth.)

All of this has a profound effect on individuals’ ability to experience pleasure, trust, comfort, intimacy, peace of mind — and of course, the composite of these things, hygge.

For one thing, there are only so many hours in a day. And there are some activities that make us happy, and some that make us unhappy.

The Princeton Affect and Time Survey found that the activities that make us happiest include playing with children, listening to music, being outdoors, going to parties, exercising, hanging out with friends, and spending time with pets. (These are also the activities that Danes associate with hygge.) The ones that make us least happy include paid work, domestic work, home maintenance and repairs, running errands, personal medical care, and taking care of financial responsibilities.

Everyone has to do activities in the unhappy category in order to keep their affairs in order. But it makes sense that if you take some of those responsibilities off people’s plate and design the economy to give them more time to do activities in the happy category, they will be more content and lead more enriching lives.

Many working-class Americans don’t have much time for activities in the happy category, because they work multiple jobs or long hours and also have to keep a household in order without much assistance. Many more are afraid that if they take time away from their stressful responsibilities, they will overlook something important and fall behind, and there will be no social safety net to catch them — a pervasive anxiety that creeps up the class hierarchy. This breeds alienation, not intimacy.

Additionally, working people in highly capitalist countries, where economic life is characterized by cutthroat competition and the punishment for losing the competition is destitution, tend to develop hostile relationships to one another, which is not very hyggelig.

The social-democratic model is predicated instead on solidarity: my neighbor and I both pay taxes so that we can both have a high standard of living. We care for each other on the promise that we will each be cared for. By working together instead of against each other, we both get what we need. Universal social programs like those that make up the Scandinavian welfare states are thus engines of solidarity, impressing upon people that their neighbor is not an opponent or an obstacle, but a partner in building and maintaining society.

By pitting people against each other, neoliberal capitalism promotes suspicion and animosity. This frequently maps onto social divisions and manifests as racism, sexism, xenophobia, and so on. But it also just makes people guarded and antisocial in general. People who live in social democracies are far from invulnerable to prejudice or misanthropy, but the social compact remains more likely to promote kindness, trust, and goodwill among people than neoliberal capitalism — and indeed the Danes are some of the most trusting people in the world, of friends and strangers alike.

One of these political-economic arrangements strengthens people’s connection to the fundamentals of happiness, and of hygge — time, company, and security — while the other severs it. The abundance or scarcity of these fundamentals forms the material basis of collective social life.

The Ambiance Agenda

Hygge is not just a cultural eccentricity. It’s the fruit of politics, and the task of cultivating it is a political one. Americans struggle to understand this.

A flurry of hygge-centric books and blogs and trend pieces swept the United States a couple of years ago. But even as we pined for coziness, we struggled to conceive of it as anything more than an aspirational aesthetic.

One book on hyggelig design, written by two Americans, contained a series of interviews with American trendsetters. When asked how she created hygge at home, one responded, “Texture and color are, of course, key. I like the balance of sheepskins, velvet, and wood.” When asked what hygge meant to her, another answered with a laundry list of interior design motifs: record players, reclaimed wood, Edison bulbs, an old typewriter, kilim pillows.

The book nods to hygge being an ineffable feeling. But it doesn’t even gesture at the social conditions required for producing that feeling.

The fact that hygge became an American trend, even in bastardized form, was a sign that we perceived something lacking in our culture and longed for an alternative. But even when we acknowledged the intangible properties of hygge, we still assumed it could be obtained with individual consumer spending. It rarely occurred to us that the answer was collective social spending.

Scandinavians, however, know that hygge is not an individual lifestyle to be purchased, but a collective social phenomenon rooted in a political reality. Underlying the ambiance is an agenda. In his book, Wiking states it plainly:

<blockquote>There is wide support for the welfare state. The support stems from an awareness of the fact that the welfare model turns our collective wealth into wellbeing. We are not paying taxes, we are investing in our society. We are purchasing quality of life. The key to understanding the high levels of well-being in Denmark is the welfare model’s ability to reduce risk, uncertainty, and anxiety among its citizens and to prevent extreme unhappiness.</blockquote>

Another book called The Hygge Life, written by two Scandinavian authors, says much the same thing:

<blockquote>In Scandinavia, the government takes care of many of life’s essential services, such as childcare, education, and health care. The principles of hygge emerged throughout the region in part because its residents do not have to shoulder the burden of responsibility for many of life’s expensive necessities — or bear the insecurity, uncertainty, and anxiety that accompany that burden.</blockquote>

Social democracy can’t solve all of our problems. One big problem it can’t solve is its own fragility.

If capitalists still exist, they will still exploit workers and accumulate wealth, and they will use that wealth to build political power, which they will wield to undermine social democracy itself. This is happening in the Scandinavian social democracies now as neoliberal governments, including some social-democratic parties, privatize public goods and unravel the twentieth-century compromise. The introduction of even mild austerity measures has doubled the number of Danish people living in poverty since 2002 (though it’s still less than one-third of the United States’s poverty rate).

Nor can social democracy absolutely guarantee hygge. It can’t ensure that the snow will fall gently on Christmas Eve, nor that our holiday gathering will be cozy and convivial. As Corey Robin wrote in Jacobin, the right political-economic system can at best promise to “convert hysterical misery into ordinary unhappiness.” The rest is up to us. We have to trim our own tree, and love our own neighbors.

But social democracy — and actual socialism, for that matter — can make time, company, and security easier to obtain. That’s no small feat.

In that way, it can lay the material foundations for a more hyggelig society, one where people are happier and more at ease, and where the reigning principle is not alienation but solidarity."]]></description>
<dc:subject>hygge meaganday 2018 denmark socialdemocracy socialism socialsafetynet politics policy happiness comfort us coreyrobin scandinavia solidarity wellbeing responsibility uncertainty anxiety neoliberalism capitalism risk civics qualityoflife pleasure multispecies family trust intimacy peaceofmind leisure work labor health healthcare unions time slow fragility taxes inequality company security well-being</dc:subject>
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<item rdf:about="https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1046055387617775616.html">
    <title>Thread by @ErynnBrook: &quot;I want to tell you a story about how my mum taught me that I’m allowed to leave an uncomfortable situation. I was maybe 7, I think it was my […]&quot;</title>
    <dc:date>2018-09-29T18:01:15+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1046055387617775616.html</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA[[original: https://twitter.com/ErynnBrook/status/1046055387617775616 ]

"I want to tell you a story about how my mum taught me that I’m allowed to leave an uncomfortable situation.

I was maybe 7, I think it was my first sleepover at someone else’s house. I don’t remember the girl’s name. But before I left Mum told me that if I was uncomfortable at any point, for any reason, even if it was in the middle of the night, I could call her.

She was very clear. She said even if her parents have gone to bed I want you to knock on their bedroom door and ask to use the phone. I could call her even if it was late. And if her parents didn’t answer the door to just go find the phone and call her anyway.

She said it doesn’t matter what time it is, you won’t be in trouble and I’ll come get you. 

I think I was being teased about something. It definitely wasn’t just I can’t sleep, there was something social going on. But that’s what I did.

The girl’s mom tried to discourage me. She said it was late, I said my mum didn’t care. She said I could sleep on the couch. I said I wanted to go home. She said I was upsetting her daughter, I said she was mean to me.

I remember holding the phone and my mum answered. I said “hi Mum.” She said “you want me to come get you?” I said “yes please.” She said “ask her Mum to help you pack up your things and get your coat on. I’ll be right there.”

And my mum showed up on her doorstep in pajama pants and a coat. The girl’s mum kept apologizing for me calling, my mum put up a hand and said “don’t apologize for my daughter. I want her to know she’s allowed to leave and I’ll be there for her at any time.”

I remember the little crowd of sleepover girls huddled in the far doorway that led to the bedrooms, watching all of this confused and silent. And I remember that mom apologizing. She didn’t seem to know what to say after my mum asked her to stop.

I had more incidents like that as I grew up. My mum did a lot around boundaries with me. I remember her marching me down the street to another girl’s house to ask for an apology in front of her parents.

I remember her telling 3 friends to sit in the front room with their bags packed while they waited for their parents to come get them, after I had told them all to “get out of my house” for teasing me and bullying me.

I remember her coaching me through a speech on how to resign and leave from a hostile work environment when I was in the middle of nowhere at a camp for the summer, and she offered money to get a cab to pick me and my friends up.

I can’t say I’ve always followed my gut on boundaries and discomfort. I can’t say I’ve never swallowed it in order to make others comfortable. But I can say what she taught me was important. It was and still is radical.

It’s radical to have boundaries. And to exercise them. Three things I think were really really important in what she did: 

1. She always explicitly said “you can leave if you want to.”
2. She never questioned why, or whether I was overreacting.
3. She showed up.

But I think a lot about the girl’s mum apologizing and how... that’s the norm, actually. What my mum taught me was radical, what that girl’s mum was teaching was the norm. “Just deal with it, don’t trouble anyone, go back to sleep, it’ll be over soon, don’t ruin it.”

And I still get that message from a lot of places. But my mum taught me that I’m allowed to leave.

I see what a privilege that is as an adult. For some people, for some situations, there is no way out. But sometimes, also, we don’t leave because we think we’re not allowed.

So, just in case no one ever told you (or you need a reminder): YOU ARE ALLOWED TO LEAVE.

You can leave a date, a party, a job, a meeting, a commitment. You are allowed. If you’re worried about keeping your word remember that your boundaries are also your word, your integrity.

I wanted to tell this story because the message to stay to make others comfortable is so pervasive, that without actively teaching me that I’m allowed to leave, that’s what I would’ve absorbed.

Hell, I absorbed a lot of it anyway. As an adult, at that camp job, I remember her on the phone saying “what do you want to do?” And not knowing, until she said “do you want to leave?” And I said “can I?” She said “You can always leave. What do you need so you can leave?”

So, if you’re a person like me, who was taught that you’re allowed to leave, keep an eye out for those who weren’t. They may need the reminder. They may need to hear that it’s okay. They may need help. And keep telling yourself that you are allowed. You’re allowed to leave. 💜

Wow this is really taking off! Before it goes too far I wanted to say: I’m seeing this being gendered and while I am a woman and my mother is a woman there’s no gender on this message. I understand the impulse to teach your daughters this but please teach all children.

When you know that you are allowed to leave, when you exercise that boundary, the idea that others are allowed to leave also comes up. Boys stay in uncomfortable situations to fit in as well, they also deserve this lesson.

Trans, non binary and gender non conforming folks often shrink themselves for the comfort of those around them. They deserve this lesson too. Everyone is allowed to leave. No one is obliged to be uncomfortable for others’ comfort or enjoyment. 💜"]]></description>
<dc:subject>children parenting boundaries radicalism comfort erynnbrook discomfort 2018</dc:subject>
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<item rdf:about="https://www.theatlantic.com/video/index/569008/john-mcwhorter/">
    <title>John McWhorter: How Texting ‘LOL’ Changed Communication - The Atlantic</title>
    <dc:date>2018-09-06T02:55:23+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.theatlantic.com/video/index/569008/john-mcwhorter/</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA[[on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hA6V_th9rQw ]

"“Today, communication is much more fluid, much more varied, much subtler—it's better,” says John McWhorter, professor of linguistics at Columbia University, author, and frequent contributor to The Atlantic, in a new video from the 2018 Aspen Ideas Festival. A big reason for this advancement in communication is, McWorther argues, the advent of texting—and even more specifically, the proliferation of the acronym “LOL.”

In the video, McWorther explains how LOL “ended up creeping in and replacing involuntary laughter,” and what meant for the new era of informal, nuanced communication. “It used to be that if you were going to write in any real way beyond the personal letter, there were all these rules you were afraid you were breaking—and you probably were,” he says. “It wasn't a comfortable form. You can write comfortably now.”"]]></description>
<dc:subject>johnmcwhorter texting texts lol 2018 communication language linguistics mobile phones change flirting fluidity informal informality comfort nuance optimism</dc:subject>
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<item rdf:about="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/10/opinion/sunday/solving-all-the-wrong-problems.html">
    <title>Solving All the Wrong Problems - The New York Times</title>
    <dc:date>2016-07-12T03:08:49+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/10/opinion/sunday/solving-all-the-wrong-problems.html</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["We are overloaded daily with new discoveries, patents and inventions all promising a better life, but that better life has not been forthcoming for most. In fact, the bulk of the above list targets a very specific (and tiny!) slice of the population. As one colleague in tech explained it to me recently, for most people working on such projects, the goal is basically to provide for themselves everything that their mothers no longer do.

He was joking — sort of — but his comment made me think hard about who is served by this stuff. I’m concerned that such a focus on comfort and instant gratification will reduce us all to those characters in “Wall-E,” bound to their recliners, Big Gulps in hand, interacting with the world exclusively through their remotes.

Too many well-funded entrepreneurial efforts turn out to promise more than they can deliver (i.e., Theranos’ finger-prick blood test) or read as parody (but, sadly, are not — such as the $99 “vessel” that monitors your water intake and tells you when you should drink more water).

When everything is characterized as “world-changing,” is anything?

Clay Tarver, a writer and producer for the painfully on-point HBO comedy “Silicon Valley,” said in a recent New Yorker article: “I’ve been told that, at some of the big companies, the P.R. departments have ordered their employees to stop saying ‘We’re making the world a better place,’ specifically because we have made fun of that phrase so mercilessly. So I guess, at the very least, we’re making the world a better place by making these people stop saying they’re making the world a better place.”

O.K., that’s a start. But the impulse to conflate toothbrush delivery with Nobel Prize-worthy good works is not just a bit cultish, it’s currently a wildfire burning through the so-called innovation sector. Products and services are designed to “disrupt” market sectors (a.k.a. bringing to market things no one really needs) more than to solve actual problems, especially those problems experienced by what the writer C. Z. Nnaemeka has described as “the unexotic underclass” — single mothers, the white rural poor, veterans, out-of-work Americans over 50 — who, she explains, have the “misfortune of being insufficiently interesting.”

If the most fundamental definition of design is to solve problems, why are so many people devoting so much energy to solving problems that don’t really exist? How can we get more people to look beyond their own lived experience?

In “Design: The Invention of Desire,” a thoughtful and necessary new book by the designer and theorist Jessica Helfand, the author brings to light an amazing kernel: “hack,” a term so beloved in Silicon Valley that it’s painted on the courtyard of the Facebook campus and is visible from planes flying overhead, is also prison slang for “horse’s ass carrying keys.”

To “hack” is to cut, to gash, to break. It proceeds from the belief that nothing is worth saving, that everything needs fixing. But is that really the case? Are we fixing the right things? Are we breaking the wrong ones? Is it necessary to start from scratch every time?

Empathy, humility, compassion, conscience: These are the key ingredients missing in the pursuit of innovation, Ms. Helfand argues, and in her book she explores design, and by extension innovation, as an intrinsically human discipline — albeit one that seems to have lost its way. Ms. Helfand argues that innovation is now predicated less on creating and more on the undoing of the work of others.

“In this humility-poor environment, the idea of disruption appeals as a kind of subversive provocation,” she writes. “Too many designers think they are innovating when they are merely breaking and entering.”

In this way, innovation is very much mirroring the larger public discourse: a distrust of institutions combined with unabashed confidence in one’s own judgment shifts solutions away from fixing, repairing or improving and shoves them toward destruction for its own sake. (Sound like a certain presidential candidate? Or Brexit?)

Perhaps the main reason these frivolous products and services frustrate me is because of their creators’ insistence that changing lives for the better is their reason for being. To wit, the venture capitalist Marc Andreessen, who has invested in companies like Airbnb and Twitter but also in services such as LikeALittle (which started out as a flirting tool among college students) and Soylent (a sort of SlimFast concoction for tech geeks), tweeted last week: “The perpetually missing headline: ‘Capitalism worked okay again today and most people in the world got a little better off.’ ”

Meanwhile, in San Francisco, where such companies are based, sea level rise is ominous, the income gap between rich and poor has been growing faster than in any other city in the nation, a higher percentage of people send their kids to private school than in almost any other city, and a minimum salary of $254,000 is required to afford an average-priced home. Who exactly is better off?

Ms. Helfand calls for a deeper embrace of personal vigilance: “Design may provide the map,” she writes, “but the moral compass that guides our personal choices resides permanently within us all.”

Can we reset that moral compass? Maybe we can start by not being a bunch of hacks."]]></description>
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<item rdf:about="http://tuenight.com/2015/06/why-i-begged-my-mother-to-take-me-out-of-the-gifted-program/">
    <title>Why I Begged My Mother to Take Me Out of the Gifted Program | Tue Night</title>
    <dc:date>2015-07-04T06:23:30+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://tuenight.com/2015/06/why-i-begged-my-mother-to-take-me-out-of-the-gifted-program/</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["I understand what they were trying to do. When my teacher nominated me to be sent to a different classroom for part of each day, a class with older and more advanced learners, it was her way of keeping me interested in the learning process. Our school system was 90 percent black and, according to standardized tests, most of us were performing below grade level.

Not me.

At nine years old, my reading aptitude test scores were at the college level. My mother was so happy that she took out an ad in the local paper congratulating me for my grade-school accomplishment. She was proud. I was bored.

For weeks after the test results came in, my teacher would create separate spelling tests and reading lists just for me to try to keep me engaged and challenged. I understand that was probably an extra burden on her. If I was a third grade teacher and one of my students was reading Romeo & Juliet during silent reading time, I might suggest she needed to join a class at a higher grade level for part of the day, too. Unfortunately, even a good idea can take a negative turn.

In the beginning, I was excited about leaving my classroom for an hour a day. I thought it made me special or, at the very least, proved that I was smart. (Truthfully, most of my classmates were as smart as I was—I was just really good at memorization and taking tests.) It also helped that adults I loved and trusted had always told me I was smart. We were a school full of black children, and it wasn’t uncommon to hear our white teachers refer to us as “they,” “them,” “those kids,” or whisper to one another about our many shortcomings. I remember a time in class when a teacher told a black boy he’d never learn to read well if he insisted on speaking like a “thug.” Then she smiled toward me and said, “Don’t you want to sound smart like Ashley?”

I was taken aback. Not only did I hate being compared to the other kids (it didn’t exactly make me popular with them), but I also hadn’t realized I spoke differently from my classmates. From that day forward, they never let me forget it. Who could blame them?

By the time I got to fourth grade, I was no longer being sent to a different classroom for part of the day. No, my teachers felt that I was so brilliant I needed to be bused to an entirely different school two full days every week. The new school could not have been more different. The facilities were nicer, the test scores were higher, and my little brown face was one of a handful—maybe less.

At my “home” school, 75 percent of students received a free or reduced-rate lunch. We would laugh about our poverty, calling it “Government Lunch” and swapping dishes. The lunch ladies swiftly checked off our names on their list without a second glance and kept the line moving. At the new school, I explained that I didn’t pay for lunch and the cafeteria worker had to talk to three different people to figure out what the procedure was for such a thing. When I finally got my tray and sat with the rest of the kids from my class, I joked, “I guess you guys never had a poor kid here before.” They stared at each other, then at me, then back at each other. The silence nearly swallowed me up.

The days I spent at my “home” school varied greatly. Some days I was picked on mercilessly (usually because a teacher pointed me out as what everyone else should try to become). Other days, I felt so deeply understood by my peers, the thought of going back to the other school where they didn’t know anything about my culture was unbearable. And it wasn’t just about differences in the music we liked. I loved Matchbox 20 too! It was deeper than that. It was spending all night coloring a project with stubby crayons and nearly dry markers, just to have another kid bring in pages of pictures his dad printed out for him on a color printer. It was feigning sick the day of the Halloween party because I knew the other kids would show up in purchased costumes, something I’d never been able to do in my entire life. It was the mean lunch lady and the damn red binder she hauled out every time I said, “Free lunch.” At my “other” school , I was always the other. Always the black one. Always the poor one. The challenge in this new learning arena wasn’t academic but social. We could talk about Egypt all day long, but when I asked if Cleopatra was black, my new teacher pretended she didn’t hear me.

It didn’t take me long to figure out that I wanted out of my new school, but getting out was harder than I thought. All of my teachers were convinced that I was just intimidated by the work, not weary of the environment. So I played into their narrative and did something I’d never done before: I flunked. I bombed every test and failed to turn in every homework assignment until they sent me back to my home school full-time. Suddenly, my grades improved. Everything improved. I was happier, I was learning, and I was free to be where I wanted to be. I worked with my teachers to come up with a curriculum that challenged me, and I made it easy for them. My worst fear was that I would get bused again to a “better” school.

Right before I started middle school, an elite private school in town called my mother to see if I’d be interested in taking a test to see if I qualified for a full scholarship. I knew about this school. All grades, all facilities, and all white. After the call, my mother asked me what I thought. “It could be a great opportunity, Ash. Everybody graduates, and almost 100 percent of them go to college.”

I thought about the teachers at my original school who worked so hard to keep my brain challenged, my friends who were as smart (or smarter) than I was, and the lunch ladies who never made me feel like I was less worthy of food than anybody else. I thought about the time I’d spent at the other school, and how it felt like every moment there had been time stolen from me. In separating me from my classmates, I was being separated from my culture. And why? Because I could read big words? I could read big words anywhere, including right beside people who looked and lived just like me.

I looked at my mom, smiled and said, “I’m happy where I am.”"]]></description>
<dc:subject>ashleyford education schools race class gifted 2015 freedom belonging identity inclusion inclusivity comparison howweteach independentschools privateschools segregation teaching children comfort environment inlcusivity</dc:subject>
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<item rdf:about="https://twitter.com/cabel/status/581310243012923392">
    <title>Cabel Sasser on Twitter: &quot;Japan Railway's app has live data, sure… including the crowdedness and inside temperature of EACH TRAIN CAR. 😍/😭 http://t.co/ySz1oTuIbF&quot;</title>
    <dc:date>2015-03-28T05:18:48+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://twitter.com/cabel/status/581310243012923392</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Japan Railway's app has live data, sure… including the crowdedness and inside temperature of EACH TRAIN CAR. [+screenshot]"]]></description>
<dc:subject>japan trains comfort cabelsasser information 2015</dc:subject>
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<item rdf:about="http://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/4485/the-art-of-fiction-no-34-jean-cocteau">
    <title>Paris Review - The Art of Fiction No. 34, Jean Cocteau</title>
    <dc:date>2015-03-18T06:34:10+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/4485/the-art-of-fiction-no-34-jean-cocteau</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["If the ideas come, one must hurry to set them down out of fear of forgetting them. They come once; once only. On the other hand, if I am obliged to do some little task—such as writing a preface or notice—the labor to give the appearance of easiness to the few lines is excruciating. I have no facility whatever. Yes, in one respect what you say is true. I had written a novel, then fallen silent. And the editors at the publishing house of Stock, seeing this, said, You have too great a fear of not writing a masterpiece. Write something, anything. Merely to begin. So I did—and wrote the first lines of Les Enfants Terribles. But that is only for beginnings—in fiction. I have never written unless deeply moved about something. The one exception is my play La Machine à Écrire. I had written the play Les Parents Terribles and it was very successful, and something was wanted to follow. La Machine à Écríre exists in several versions, which is very telling, and was an enormous amount of work. It is no good at all. Of course, it is one of the most popular of my works. If you make fifty designs and one or two please you least, these will nearly surely be the ones most liked. No doubt because they resemble something. People love to recognize, not venture. The former is so much more comfortable and self-flattering.

It seems to me nearly the whole of your work can be read as indirect spiritual autobiography.  "]]></description>
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<item rdf:about="http://www2.k12albemarle.org/dept/dart/digital-learning/Pages/Seven-Pathways.aspx">
    <title>Seven Pathways</title>
    <dc:date>2015-03-06T00:24:28+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://www2.k12albemarle.org/dept/dart/digital-learning/Pages/Seven-Pathways.aspx</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Our pathways are two things: Commitments for our professional learning - how will we learn to be contemporary educators - and promises to our students - what kind of educational environment are we building.

The Seven Pathways

Choice and Comfort

It is our responsibility to provide every learner with real learning space choices based on task-based and physical comfort-based needs, which not only allow their cognitive energy to be focused on learning but helps students to develop the contemporary skills needed to alter and use spaces to initiate and accomplish collaborative and individual work. This includes the availability of multiple communication tools and contemporary technologies as well as assisting students in understanding and creating a variety of learning products which demonstrate student choices in curriculum, task, technologies, and media.

Instructional Tolerance

We will all support student learning environments where active, engaged learners routinely choose from a variety of learning spaces, collaborative and individual activities, and technology tools, including their own personal devices. Our environments will create student opportunities to learn best practices essential to entering contemporary learning and work environments and which enable students to sustain an open mindset and skillset in the use of evolving technology tools. These environments, pre-K through 12, will allow negotiated environmental rules which include and improve student individual and community decision-making.

Universal Design for Learning/Individualization of Learning

No child within the Albemarle County Public Schools should need a label or prescription in order to access the tools of learning or environments they need. Within the constraints of other laws (in particular, copyright) we will offer alternative representations of information, multiple tools, and a variety of instructional strategies to provide access for all learners to acquire lifelong learning competencies and the knowledge and skills specified in curricular standards. We will create classroom cultures that fully embrace differentiation of instruction, student work, and assessment based upon individual learners’ needs and capabilities. We will apply contemporary learning science to create accessible entry points for all students in our learning environments; and which support students in learning how to make technology choices to overcome disabilities and inabilities, and to leverage preferences and capabilities.

Maker-Infused Curriculum

Across our School Division we are committed to student construction of knowledge and skills through the processes of imagining, creating, designing, building, engineering, evaluating and communicating learning. We believe that it is essential that our students learn how to be "Makers" in all phases of their lives, rather than just consumers. We are committed to "Making" as "how we learn," and not as an "extra," and we understand that both "Learning to Make" and "Making to Learn" are essential in every day classroom practice.

Project/Problem/Passion-Based Learning

All Albemarle County Public School students will have consistent learning opportunities across the curriculum to construct knowledge and understanding through responses to authentic problems; to create projects that demonstrate higher order thinking and knowledge acquisition, and to pursue personal interests by making real choices in project forms and media, even when those choices might lie beyond pre-determined expectations. Students will always be encouraged in the use of differentiated pathways as ways to both learn and demonstrate lifelong learning competencies.

Interactive Technologies

In every classroom, every day, we strive to create open learning environments in which students make individual choices as they use technologies to develop classroom work and assignments, and to provide opportunities for our students to actively make tech-based product investigation and choice as part of their study of curriculum. Our students will, regularly during instructional time, use those contemporary technologies (both school provided and individually owned) interact with external experts and students in other communities in order to build learner competencies in the use of the technologies of this century for information access and communication.

Connectivity

We will continuously develop and use activities that engage students in learning networks, including asynchronous and synchronous communication with external experts, access to digital content including primary sources, and interaction with other learners locally and globally who represent a variety of demographically diverse communities. We will, every day, promote and value collaborative projects and knowledge development representative of principles of global and digital literacy and effective, and which demonstrate appropriate global, national, community, and digital citizenship."]]></description>
<dc:subject>albermarleschooldistrict irasocol pammoran technology connectivity projectbasedlearning passionbasedlearning making mekers curriculum pathways interaction universldesign learning individualization howweteach howwelearn teaching education schools tolerance instruction choice comfort toolbelttheory schooldesign communication pbl</dc:subject>
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<item rdf:about="http://www.ribbonfarm.com/2014/08/26/the-creation-and-destruction-of-habits/">
    <title>The Creation and Destruction of Habits</title>
    <dc:date>2015-02-15T18:31:38+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://www.ribbonfarm.com/2014/08/26/the-creation-and-destruction-of-habits/</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["1/ There are two kinds of stories: about forming habits, and about preserving them. Superhero movies and Christmas movies.

2/ While you have room to grow in your life, forming habits is much easier than breaking habits. Neither is easy, however.

3/ A habit, once formed, demands use. This is because it exists as a sunk cost. Disuse would imply depreciating value.

4/ A living habit generates returns and grows more complex over time. This is growth. Growing habits occupy more room over time.

5/ A dying habit generates losses and grows  simpler over time. This is decay. Dying habits decay to occupy less room over time.

6/ You are grown up when you run out of room to grow and are forced to break old habits in order to form new ones.

7/ The alternative to growing up is to preserve existing habits against decay through mummification. This is ritualization.

8/ To ritualize a habit is to decide to sustain steady losses for the indefinite future. This means feeding it with make-work.

9/ Living habits are ugly. Constant growth and increasing complexity means they always appear as an unrefined work-in-progress.

10/ The reward of a ritual is comforting, relived memories of once-profitable habits. These can be passed on for generations.

11/ Rituals are beautiful. Mummification is the process of aestheticizing a behavior to produce comfort instead of profit.

12/ Comforts must be paid for. But it is an easy decision to rob the ugly to pay the beautiful. Growth must pay for decay.

13/ Living habits can be valued in terms of expected future returns. Comforts cannot because they are being sustained despite losses.

14/ Living habits have a price. Rituals are price-less. They represent comforts worth preserving at indeterminate cost.

15/ Price-less comforts evolve from things-that-cannot-be-priced to things-that-must-not-be-priced. This is sacralization.

16/ The sacred price-less is the economic priceless. We drop the hyphen and add a notional price of infinity. This is a sacred value.

17/ The ritualized habit associated with a sacred value becomes a virtue: a behavior that serves as is its own justification.

18/ Virtues are behaviors that are recognized as their own justification by their unchanging beauty. The sacred is beautiful.

19/ Vice is that which cannot visibly co-exist with virtue: it is behavior that justifies its own suppression or marginalization.

20/ Profanity is an inchoate mixture of virtue and vice. Experimentation separates ugly profanity into future virtues and vices.

21/ When your living habits cannot pay for their own growth, and you sacrifice beauty for experimentation, you get innovation.

22/ When your living habits can pay for their own growth and your comforting rituals, you have a beautiful life. This is individualism.

23/ When living habits can pay for themselves but not for comforts, you have a problem. This is failed individualism: depression.

24/ If you try to strip away comforts and retain only growth, you have cognitive-behavioral cancer. This is being manic.

25/ You can pretend that comforts are profits. To do this you deny new data and restate old justifications. This is called derping.

26/ You can also strip away rituals, deliberately making your life uglier by unburdening living habits. This is called empiricism.

27/ You can strip away enough ritual to keep your life ugly at work and beautiful at home. This is called being a loser.

28/ You can confuse the beautiful with the living and the ugly with dying and strip away the wrong things. This is called cluelessness.

29/ You can consciously develop your ability to contemplate both ugliness and beauty with equanimity. This is called mindfulness.

30/ You can strip away rituals up to the limit of your mindfulness, staying on the edge of manic-depression. This is being a sociopath.

31/ The most common response to failed individualism, however, is to get others to pay for your comforts. This is called culture.

32/ A culture that cannot pay for its own comforts overall is a called a tradition. One that has no comforts to pay for is called a frontier.

33/ Tradition is beautiful, frontiers are ugly. To mistake one for the other is the defining characteristic of the clueless middle class.

33/ A culture that is more tradition than frontier is a loser culture. Sincere partisan conservatism and liberalism are both for losers.

34/ A culture that is more frontier than tradition is sociopath culture. It offers few comforts and fewer sacred ones.

35/ A compassionate culture is one that drives each member to the limit of their mindfulness. It is inclusive by definition.

36/ A beautiful culture is one that highlights comforting tradition and hides profit and profanity. It is extractive by definition.

37/ A culture cannot be both compassionate and beautiful at once without ceasing to grow. To be a sociopath is to recognize this.

38/ A culture that ceases to grow is a culture that increasingly trades compassion for beauty, paying more for its priceless elements.

39/ A culture that chooses to grow is one that systematically devalues beauty and resists the allure and comfort of pricelessness.

40/ Civilization is the mortal tension between the imperative to keep growing and the imperative to remain beautiful.

41/ Those who choose beauty tell one kind of story, about a relatively shrinking set of beautiful things that define the human.

42/ Those who choose growth tell another kind of story, about an expanding zone of mindfulness that defines the superhuman."]]></description>
<dc:subject>culture humans ideology venkateshrao 2014 habits growth frontiers balance tradition ritual sociopathy conservatism liberalism individualism mindfulness cluelessness comforts empiricism derping depression experimentation beauty marginalization pricelessness comfort complexity ritualization makework mummification sacralization sacredness virtue justification life living behavior manicdepression civilization rituals</dc:subject>
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</item>
<item rdf:about="http://solarpunks.tumblr.com/post/110260092108/the-keynote-of-buddhist-economics-therefore-is">
    <title>SOLARPUNKS [a snip from E.F. Schumacher's Small is Beautiful]</title>
    <dc:date>2015-02-06T20:22:16+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://solarpunks.tumblr.com/post/110260092108/the-keynote-of-buddhist-economics-therefore-is</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["The keynote of Buddhist economics, therefore, is simplicity and non-violence. From an economist’s point of view, the marvel of the Buddhist way of life is the utter rationality of its pattern — amazingly small means leading to extraordinarily satisfactory results.

For the modern economist this is very difficult to understand. He is used to measuring the ‘standard of living’ by the amount of annual consumption, assuming all the time that a man who consumes more is ‘better off’ than a man who consumes less. A Buddhist economist would consider this approach excessively irrational: since consumption is merely a means to human well-being the aim should be to obtain the maximum of well-being with the minimum of consumption. Thus, if the purpose of clothing is a certain amount of temperature comfort and an attractive appearance, the task is to attain this purpose with the smallest possible effort, that is, with the smallest annual destruction of cloth and with the help of designs that involve the smallest possible input of toil. The less toil there is, the more time and strength is left for artistic creativity. It would be highly uneconomic, for instance, to go in for complicated tailoring, like the modern west, when a much more beautiful effect can be achieved by the skilful draping of uncut material. It would be the height of folly to make material so that it should wear out quickly and the height of barbarity to make anything ugly, shabby or mean. What has just been said about clothing applies equally to all other human requirements. The ownership and the consumption of goods is a means to an end, and Buddhist economics is the systematic study of how to attain given ends with the minimum means."

— E.F. Schumacher, Small is Beautiful [http://www.ditext.com/schumacher/small/small.html ]]]></description>
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</item>
<item rdf:about="http://www.onbeing.org/program/parker-palmer-and-courtney-martin-the-inner-life-of-rebellion/7122">
    <title>Parker Palmer and Courtney Martin — The Inner Life of Rebellion | On Being</title>
    <dc:date>2015-01-10T07:27:39+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://www.onbeing.org/program/parker-palmer-and-courtney-martin-the-inner-life-of-rebellion/7122</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["The history of rebellion is rife with excess and burnout. But new generations have a distinctive commitment to be reflective and activist at once, to be in service as much as in charge, and to learn from history while bringing very new realities into being. Journalist and entrepreneur Courtney Martin and Quaker wise man Parker Palmer come together for a cross-generational conversation about the inner work of sustainable, resilient social change."

[Also here: https://soundcloud.com/onbeing/parker-palmer-and-courtney-martin-the-inner-life-of-rebellion

and in clips

“Parker Palmer and Courtney Martin — Learning in Public”
https://soundcloud.com/onbeing/parker-palmer-and-courtney

“Courtney Martin — A New Relationship with Rebellion”
https://soundcloud.com/onbeing/courtney-martin-a-new

“Parker Palmer — Holding the Paradox of Chutzpah and Humility”
https://soundcloud.com/onbeing/parker-palmer-holding-the-paradox-of-chutzpah-and-humility ]]]></description>
<dc:subject>parkerpalmer courtneymartin comfort persistence rebellion rebels humility burnout discomfort 2015 depression sustainability resilience mentalhealth socialchange savingtheworld generations agesegregation intergenerational interconnectedness activism reflection service idealism privilege success efficiency emotions learning howwelearn piaget listening pause ethics busyness resistance soul identity maryoliver attentiveness attention quakers clinicaldepression learninginpublic living love flipflopping mindchanging malcolmx victoriasafford hope jeanpiaget onbeing mindchanges interconnected interconnectivity quaker</dc:subject>
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<item rdf:about="http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2007/11/just-asking/306288/">
    <title>Just Asking - The Atlantic</title>
    <dc:date>2015-01-10T03:19:15+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2007/11/just-asking/306288/</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Are some things still worth dying for? Is the American idea1 one such thing? Are you up for a thought experiment? What if we chose to regard the 2,973 innocents killed in the atrocities of 9/11 not as victims but as democratic martyrs, “sacrifices on the altar of freedom”?2 In other words, what if we decided that a certain baseline vulnerability to terrorism is part of the price of the American idea? And, thus, that ours is a generation of Americans called to make great sacrifices in order to preserve our democratic way of life—sacrifices not just of our soldiers and money but of our personal safety and comfort?

"The key to the John Ziegler Show," says the angry, outraged, and apocalyptically gleeful talk-radio host John Ziegler, "is that I am almost completely real." A report from deep inside the mercenary world of take-no-prisoners political talk radio.
In still other words, what if we chose to accept the fact that every few years, despite all reasonable precautions, some hundreds or thousands of us may die in the sort of ghastly terrorist attack that a democratic republic cannot 100-percent protect itself from without subverting the very principles that make it worth protecting?

Is this thought experiment monstrous? Would it be monstrous to refer to the 40,000-plus domestic highway deaths we accept each year because the mobility and autonomy of the car are evidently worth that high price? Is monstrousness why no serious public figure now will speak of the delusory trade-off of liberty for safety that Ben Franklin warned about more than 200 years ago? What exactly has changed between Franklin’s time and ours? Why now can we not have a serious national conversation about sacrifice, the inevitability of sacrifice—either of (a) some portion of safety or (b) some portion of the rights and protections that make the American idea so incalculably precious?

In the absence of such a conversation, can we trust our elected leaders to value and protect the American idea as they act to secure the homeland? What are the effects on the American idea of Guantánamo, Abu Ghraib, PATRIOT Acts I and II, warrantless surveillance, Executive Order 13233, corporate contractors performing military functions, the Military Commissions Act, NSPD 51, etc., etc.? Assume for a moment that some of these measures really have helped make our persons and property safer—are they worth it? Where and when was the public debate on whether they’re worth it? Was there no such debate because we’re not capable of having or demanding one? Why not? Have we actually become so selfish and scared that we don’t even want to consider whether some things trump safety? What kind of future does that augur?

FOOTNOTES:
1. Given the strict Gramm-Rudmanesque space limit here, let's just please all agree that we generally know what this term connotes—an open society, consent of the governed, enumerated powers, Federalist 10, pluralism, due process, transparency ... the whole democratic roil.

2. (This phrase is Lincoln's, more or less)"]]></description>
<dc:subject>freedom culture terrorism davidfosterwallace 2007 democracy sacrifice safety mobility autonomy comfort personalsafety via:robinsonmeyer johnziegler risk</dc:subject>
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<item rdf:about="http://pronountrouble2.wordpress.com/2011/11/08/">
    <title>08 | November | 2011 | AN EMPIRE OF ONE</title>
    <dc:date>2014-12-16T06:29:09+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://pronountrouble2.wordpress.com/2011/11/08/</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Two recent books, Alan Moore: Storyteller (which my wife was lucky enough to win from this site) and Grant Morrison’s Supergods, have re-sparked a question I’ve had regarding the connection between England’s social welfare system and the Eighties invasion of American comics by British writers and artists. There’s no doubt there were several factors, with perhaps the emergence, in the late Seventies, of comics magazines such as 2000 A.D., Warrior, the Marvel U.K. line being especially important. But the most intriguing factor? The dole.

So what is my hypothesis? That comic book artists such as Alan Moore and Grant Morrison would not exist without having had the benefit of being supported for several years by the British unemployment benefits system, otherwise known as “the dole,” thus giving them time to develop their skills such that they could survive without the dole.

The evidence?

Alan Moore: Storyteller:

<blockquote>Moore left the financial security of the office job [in 1977] and signed on at the Department of Health and Social Security for unemployment benefits. (p. 44)</blockquote>

Grant Morrison’s Supergods:

<blockquote>Perhaps at last, this [ie, superhero comics as represented especially by Alan Moore’s version of Marvelman, which first appeared in 1982] could be a way of making enough money to quit the dole and get noticed doing something I loved. (p. 186)</blockquote>

<blockquote>At twenty-four [1984],… I was still on the dole and living at home… (p. 208)</blockquote>

I do not know if Morrison and Moore are typical or exceptions, but I’m leaning towards their being representative of the writers and artists who constituted the British Invasion of American comics in the Eighties. The unemployment system in the USA in the Eighties did not allow anyone to continue collecting benefits for several years and, unlike Alan Moore’s case, it was not possible to obtain benefits after quitting  or refusing a job. Another requirement was to have worked (on the books) for a certain number of weeks during the previous x number of months. In other words, to qualify for unemployment benefits in the USA, you had to have been employed a minimum amount of time, laid off (not fired), provide proof every other week of looking for work during the previous two weeks, and, even if you could not find a job, after a period of about six months the benefits would cease. The British system appears to have been very different.

Imagine an Earth-2 where Great Britain had no unemployment benefits. Would Alan Moore and Grant Morrison have been able to become Alan Moore and Grant Morrison without the benefit of the dole?"

[Continue reading for multiple updates to the post.]]]></description>
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<item rdf:about="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJk0hNROvzs">
    <title>bell hooks - Are You Still a Slave? Liberating the Black Female Body | Eugene Lang College - YouTube</title>
    <dc:date>2014-05-13T05:13:24+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJk0hNROvzs</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><dc:subject>bellhooks freedom race 2014 marciblackman sholalynch janetmock liberation gender bodies sexuality queer names naming identity outsidebox struggle resistance language beauty suppression decolonization wealth lust decentering patriarchy transsexuality beyoncé selfhood women class spirituality media culture comfort discomfort body</dc:subject>
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	<rdf:li rdf:resource="https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/t:patriarchy"/>
	<rdf:li rdf:resource="https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/t:transsexuality"/>
	<rdf:li rdf:resource="https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/t:beyoncé"/>
	<rdf:li rdf:resource="https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/t:selfhood"/>
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	<rdf:li rdf:resource="https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/t:class"/>
	<rdf:li rdf:resource="https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/t:spirituality"/>
	<rdf:li rdf:resource="https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/t:media"/>
	<rdf:li rdf:resource="https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/t:culture"/>
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	<rdf:li rdf:resource="https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/t:discomfort"/>
	<rdf:li rdf:resource="https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/t:body"/>
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</item>
<item rdf:about="http://acamedia.info/sciences/sciliterature/index.htm">
    <title>Selected Literature and Features</title>
    <dc:date>2014-05-13T03:16:37+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://acamedia.info/sciences/sciliterature/index.htm</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["The essential thing is feeling at home in the world, knowing in the depths of one's being that one has a real place in the home of the world. The essential function of such hospitals as Mount Carmel - which house several millions of the world's population - is that they should provide hospitality, the feeling of home, for patients who have lost their original homes. To the extent that Mount Carmel acts as a home, it is deeply therapeutic to all of its patients; but to the extent that it acts as an institution, it deprives them of their sense of reality and home, and forces them into the false homes and compensations of regression and sickness." —Oliver Sacks

[via: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIzA4ItynYw ]]]></description>
<dc:subject>hospitality institutions belonging comfort humanism openstudioproject lcproject education community institutionalization society coercion</dc:subject>
<dc:source>https://pinboard.in/</dc:source>
<dc:identifier>https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/b:751278d2b512/</dc:identifier>
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</item>
<item rdf:about="http://sparkcamp.com/sparking-connections/">
    <title>Mastering the Art of Sparking Connections</title>
    <dc:date>2013-12-09T19:45:50+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://sparkcamp.com/sparking-connections/</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["1. People are the key ingredients.

2. The more varied the group, the more valuable the connections and outcome.

3. To foster a spirit of improvisation, create a comfortable environment.

4. We value discussion over presentation

5. Each camp is a series of small and loosely-joined events.

6. We value intimacy over publicity.

7. Productive discussions happen more easily with thoughtful, informed facilitation.

8. End — don't start — with a trust fall.

9. The better the planning, the smoother and more spontaneous the outcome.

10. We value experimentation and evolution over perfection.

…

How Spark Camp Will Evolve"]]></description>
<dc:subject>events sparkcamp amandamichel andypergam mattthompson amywebb planning values diversity improvisation comfort conferences discussion conversation howto loosely-joined intimacy publicity facilitation eventplanning unconferences experimentation perfection trust inclusion conferenceplanning accessibility inclusivity inlcusivity</dc:subject>
<dc:source>https://pinboard.in/</dc:source>
<dc:identifier>https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/b:77452f3da7ae/</dc:identifier>
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	<rdf:li rdf:resource="https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/t:trust"/>
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</item>
<item rdf:about="http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2013/07/there-are-no-fat-people-in-paris/278162/">
    <title>'There Are No Fat People in Paris' - Ta-Nehisi Coates - The Atlantic</title>
    <dc:date>2013-08-21T17:28:07+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2013/07/there-are-no-fat-people-in-paris/278162/</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["We talk about culture as a way of establishing hierarchies -- as though a hammer could, somehow, be innately better than a hacksaw. I believe that cultures take shape for actual reasons, responding to real environments. If Americans love choice, if we love our air-conditioning, and our ice, if we love our comforts, and our elevators, the question should not be, "How do we change?" for that too is a kind of colonization. Better to ask "Why do we love those things? How do they profit us? What we do we stand to lose should we abandon them?" 

I love the tradition of low architecture here. But I also wonder how that tradition affects the cost of living for actual people. And so this is the other thing about culture. It tends to be an interlocking network, a machine of related gears, pulleys and levers. The thing you find so valuable may well be related to something else which you find utterly objectionable. I suspect that the instinct toward ensuring an abundance of fresh, high-quality food is not so distant from the instinct to ban the <strike>hijab</strike> burka.

There is surely some knowledge to be taken back home. But in thinking about myself and my country, and "cultural" change, I find that I am more reformist than revolutionary. We are who we are. Our unchanging acre is forever our own."

[Full set of dispatches from Paris here: http://www.theatlantic.com/international/category/paris ]

[Update: see notes about http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2014/04/black-pathology-crowdsourced/360190/ here: https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/b:268809a6129c ]]]></description>
<dc:subject>ta-nehisicoates culture complexity behavior france food identity difference cherrypicking colonization choice change agency comfort comforts 2013 paris hierarchy</dc:subject>
<dc:source>https://pinboard.in/</dc:source>
<dc:identifier>https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/b:36b0d646dd9e/</dc:identifier>
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</item>
<item rdf:about="http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/07/opinion/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407">
    <title>Someone you know ill? Watch what you say, and to whom - Los Angeles Times</title>
    <dc:date>2013-08-04T18:37:54+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/07/opinion/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["When Susan had breast cancer, we heard a lot of lame remarks, but our favorite came from one of Susan's colleagues. She wanted, she needed, to visit Susan after the surgery, but Susan didn't feel like having visitors, and she said so. Her colleague's response? "This isn't just about you."

"It's not?" Susan wondered. "My breast cancer is not about me? It's about you?"

The same theme came up again when our friend Katie had a brain aneurysm. She was in intensive care for a long time and finally got out and into a step-down unit. She was no longer covered with tubes and lines and monitors, but she was still in rough shape. A friend came and saw her and then stepped into the hall with Katie's husband, Pat. "I wasn't prepared for this," she told him. "I don't know if I can handle it."

This woman loves Katie, and she said what she did because the sight of Katie in this condition moved her so deeply. But it was the wrong thing to say. And it was wrong in the same way Susan's colleague's remark was wrong.

Susan has since developed a simple technique to help people avoid this mistake. It works for all kinds of crises: medical, legal, financial, romantic, even existential. She calls it the Ring Theory.

Draw a circle. This is the center ring. In it, put the name of the person at the center of the current trauma. For Katie's aneurysm, that's Katie. Now draw a larger circle around the first one. In that ring put the name of the person next closest to the trauma. In the case of Katie's aneurysm, that was Katie's husband, Pat. Repeat the process as many times as you need to. In each larger ring put the next closest people. Parents and children before more distant relatives. Intimate friends in smaller rings, less intimate friends in larger ones. When you are done you have a Kvetching Order. One of Susan's patients found it useful to tape it to her refrigerator.

Here are the rules. The person in the center ring can say anything she wants to anyone, anywhere. She can kvetch and complain and whine and moan and curse the heavens and say, "Life is unfair" and "Why me?" That's the one payoff for being in the center ring.

Everyone else can say those things too, but only to people in larger rings.

When you are talking to a person in a ring smaller than yours, someone closer to the center of the crisis, the goal is to help. Listening is often more helpful than talking. But if you're going to open your mouth, ask yourself if what you are about to say is likely to provide comfort and support. If it isn't, don't say it. Don't, for example, give advice. People who are suffering from trauma don't need advice. They need comfort and support. So say, "I'm sorry" or "This must really be hard for you" or "Can I bring you a pot roast?" Don't say, "You should hear what happened to me" or "Here's what I would do if I were you." And don't say, "This is really bringing me down."

If you want to scream or cry or complain, if you want to tell someone how shocked you are or how icky you feel, or whine about how it reminds you of all the terrible things that have happened to you lately, that's fine. It's a perfectly normal response. Just do it to someone in a bigger ring.

Comfort IN, dump OUT.

There was nothing wrong with Katie's friend saying she was not prepared for how horrible Katie looked, or even that she didn't think she could handle it. The mistake was that she said those things to Pat. She dumped IN.

Complaining to someone in a smaller ring than yours doesn't do either of you any good. On the other hand, being supportive to her principal caregiver may be the best thing you can do for the patient.

Most of us know this. Almost nobody would complain to the patient about how rotten she looks. Almost no one would say that looking at her makes them think of the fragility of life and their own closeness to death. In other words, we know enough not to dump into the center ring. Ring Theory merely expands that intuition and makes it more concrete: Don't just avoid dumping into the center ring, avoid dumping into any ring smaller than your own.

Remember, you can say whatever you want if you just wait until you're talking to someone in a larger ring than yours.

And don't worry. You'll get your turn in the center ring. You can count on that."]]></description>
<dc:subject>advice communication support relationships 2013 susansilk barrygoldman illness complaints comfort ringtheory emotions canon</dc:subject>
<dc:source>https://pinboard.in/</dc:source>
<dc:identifier>https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/b:118b3997656b/</dc:identifier>
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</item>
<item rdf:about="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_of_Affirmation_speech">
    <title>Day of Affirmation speech - Wikipedia</title>
    <dc:date>2013-07-24T05:05:35+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_of_Affirmation_speech</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["First is the danger of futility; the belief there is nothing one man or one woman can do against the enormous array of the world's ills -- against misery, against ignorance, or injustice and violence. …

The second danger is that of expediency; of those who say that hopes and beliefs must bend before immediate necessities. Of course if we must act effectively we must deal with the world as it is. We must get things done. But if there was one thing that President Kennedy stood for that touched the most profound feeling of young people across the world, it was the belief that idealism, high aspiration, and deep convictions are not incompatible with the most practical and efficient of programs -- that there is no basic inconsistency between ideals and realistic possibilities -- no separation between the deepest desires of heart and of mind and the rational application of human effort to human problems. …

A third danger is timidity. Few men are willing to brave the disapproval of their fellows, the censure of their colleagues, the wrath of their society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. …

For the fortunate amongst us, the fourth danger is comfort; the temptation to follow the easy and familiar path of personal ambition and financial success so grandly spread before those who have the privilege of an education. …"]]></description>
<dc:subject>futility timidity robertfkennedy expediency comfort 1966 steppingout comfortzone yearoff change courage agency society youth revolution moralcourage rfk bobbykennedy</dc:subject>
<dc:source>https://pinboard.in/</dc:source>
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</item>
<item rdf:about="http://colinmarshall.libsyn.com/s3e1-buoyancy-and-poignancy-with-pico-iyer">
    <title>Notebook on Cities and Culture: S3E1: Buoyancy and Poignancy with Pico Iyer</title>
    <dc:date>2013-01-05T23:17:48+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://colinmarshall.libsyn.com/s3e1-buoyancy-and-poignancy-with-pico-iyer</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Japan's distinctive combination of buoyancy and poignancy, which leads to the pre-savoring of wistfulness to come; the culture's dissolution of mind, heart, and soul all in the same place, and his efforts to build an intellectual infrastructure around his Japan-related intuitions; his recent reading of John Cage, an unexpected master of the Japanese virtues of not knowing and not saying; the necessity, when you want to write about something, to write about something else, and of writing about a passion in order to write about yourself; the Californian question of "being yourself," and its inadmissability to the Japanese mindset; his relief at not having to be Japanese within Japanese society, and what being a Japanese in Japanese society has done to visit a female brain drain upon the country; what it takes to best remain an outsider in Japan, enjoying its peculiar kind of diplomatic immunity, and how Donald Richie mastered that exchange of belonging for freedom…"]]></description>
<dc:subject>passions memoirs notknowing presence time fleetingmoments poignancy buoyancy nuance invisibility reservedness quiet energy friction spontaneity globalization osaka english responsibility interdependence compassion isolationism isolation canon identity collectivism community place westpoint books listening silence understanding vitality comfort nostalgia pre-nostalgia memory women familiarity attention donaldrichie gender knowing writing belonging california thoughfulness japan intimacy society culture colinmarshall johncage 2013 via:charlieloyd picoiyer</dc:subject>
<dc:identifier>https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/b:3246dc18a67e/</dc:identifier>
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</item>
<item rdf:about="http://weeklysift.com/2012/09/10/the-distress-of-the-privileged/">
    <title>The Distress of the Privileged « The Weekly Sift</title>
    <dc:date>2012-12-12T01:08:32+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://weeklysift.com/2012/09/10/the-distress-of-the-privileged/</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["The lesson: Supremacy itself isn’t hate. You may even have affection for the person you feel superior to. But supremacy contains the seeds of hate."

"Privileged distress today. Once you grasp the concept of privileged distress, you’ll see it everywhere: the rich feel “punished” by taxes; whites believe they are the real victims of racism; employers’ religious freedom is threatened when they can’t deny contraception to their employees; English-speakers resent bilingualism — it goes on and on."

"The Owldolatrous approach — acknowledging the distress while continuing to point out the difference in scale — is as good as I’ve seen. Ultimately, the privileged need to be won over. Their sense of justice needs to be engaged rather than beaten down. The ones who still want to be good people need to be offered hope that such an outcome is possible in this new world."

[See also (referenced within): http://www.owldolatrous.com/?p=369 and http://www.owldolatrous.com/?p=288 ]]]></description>
<dc:subject>feminism gender class hate racism comparisons culture chick-fil-a transitions change comfort pleasantville 2012 thehighroad understanding bristolpalin homophobia aesop supre superiority distress religion rights society politics equality privilege owldolatrous</dc:subject>
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</item>
<item rdf:about="http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2012/11/andrew_solomon_s_far_from_the_tree_parents_children_and_the_search_for_identity.single.html">
    <title>Andrew Solomon’s Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity: What he misses about raising a child with Down syndrome. - Slate Magazine</title>
    <dc:date>2012-11-29T05:01:57+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2012/11/andrew_solomon_s_far_from_the_tree_parents_children_and_the_search_for_identity.single.html</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Am I “cheerily generalizing” as Solomon says of other Down syndrome parents, “from a few accomplishments” of my child? Perhaps I am. But one thing I’ve learned these last four years that possibly Solomon has not: All of our accomplishments are few. All of our accomplishments are minor: my scribblings, his book, the best lines of the best living poets. We embroider away at our tiny tatters of insight as though the world hung on them, when it is chiefly we ourselves who hang on them. Often a dog or cat with none of our advanced skills can offer more comfort to our neighbor than we can. (Think: Would you rather live with Shakespeare or a cute puppy?) Each of us has the ability to give only a little bit of joy to those around us. I would wager Eurydice gives as much as any person alive."]]></description>
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<item rdf:about="http://www.frontporchrepublic.com/2012/10/whither-the-liberal-arts-college-or-why-blooms-critique-doesnt-matter/">
    <title>Whither the Liberal Arts College? Or, Why Bloom’s Critique Doesn’t Matter | Front Porch Republic</title>
    <dc:date>2012-10-25T18:09:34+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://www.frontporchrepublic.com/2012/10/whither-the-liberal-arts-college-or-why-blooms-critique-doesnt-matter/</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["The hallmarks of these places are professionalization and specialization, and in the process they lose sight of the one (truly liberal) question that would help make an education coherent: the question of what it is to be a human being."

"as they become more specialized and professionalized in their internal functioning, they encourage the development of a faculty who are invested in not raising the larger questions about the purpose of education, and a student- body who will increasingly mimic this professionalization and specialization in pursuit of a well- paying job."

"…Not understanding leisure, neither can we understand work"

[via: http://randallszott.org/2012/10/19/liberal-arts-uselessness-and-leisure-against-mere-work/ ]]]></description>
<dc:subject>gilmeilander stanleyfish allanbloom us militaryindustrialcomplex cronycapitalism authority virtue highereducation highered universities colleges jeantwenge sherryturkle josephpieper alastairmacintyre comfort jeffreypolet 2012 capitalism society community slowlearning education learning slowness slow work labor leisurearts leisure values purpose living life sensemaking meaningmaking generalists liberalarts humanism professions professionalization artleisure makingsense</dc:subject>
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<item rdf:about="http://naffidy.blogspot.com/2007/06/andrea-zittel-these-things-i-know-for.html?m=1">
    <title>naffidy: Andrea Zittel -----&quot;These things I know for sure&quot;</title>
    <dc:date>2012-07-31T22:21:20+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://naffidy.blogspot.com/2007/06/andrea-zittel-these-things-i-know-for.html?m=1</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["1. It is a human trait to organize things into categories. Inventing categories creates an illusion that there is an overriding rationale in the way that the word works.

2. Surfaces that are "easy to clean" also show dirt more. In reality a surface that camouflages dirt is much more practical than one that is easy to clean.

3. Maintenance takes time and energy that can sometimes impede other forms or progress such as learning about new things.

4. All materials ultimately deteriorate and show signs of wear. It is therefore important to create designs that will look better after years of distress.

5. A perfect filling system can sometimes decrease efficiency. For instance, when letters and bills are filed away too quickly, it is easy to forget to respond to them.

6. Many "progressive" designs actually hark back towards a lost idea of nature or a more "original form."

7. Ambiguity in visual design ultimately leads to a greater variety of functions than designs that are functionally fixed.

8. No matter how many options there are, it is human nature to always narrow things down to two polar, yet inextricably linked choices.

9. The creation of rules is more creative than the destruction of them. Creation demands a higher level of reasoning and draws connections between cause and effect. The best rules are never stable or permanent, but evolve, naturally according to content or need.

10. What makes us feel liberated is not total freedom, but rather living in a set of limitations that we have created and prescribed for ourselves.

11. Things that we think are liberating can ultimately become restrictive, and things that we initially think are controlling can sometimes give us a sense of comfort and security.

12. Ideas seem to gestate best in a void--- when that void is filled, it is more difficult to access them. In our consumption-driven society, almost all voids are filled, blocking moments of greater clarity and creativity. Things that block voids are called "avoids."

13. Sometimes if you can't change a situation, you just have to change the way you think about the situation.

14. People are most happy when they are moving towards something not quite yet attained (I also wonder if this extends as well to the sensation of physical motion in space. I believe that I am happier when I am in a plane or car because I am moving towards an identifiable and attainable goal.)

15. What you own, owns you.

16. Personal truths are often perceived as universal truths. For instance it is easy to imagine that a system or design works well for oneself will work for everyone else."

[Also (only 1-14) printed here: http://books.google.com/books/about/Andrea_Zittel.html?id=-uZiQgAACAAJ ]]]></description>
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<item rdf:about="http://weeklydispatch.tumblr.com/post/17508286191/week-2">
    <title>Week 2 - Weekly Dispatch</title>
    <dc:date>2012-02-20T01:21:54+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://weeklydispatch.tumblr.com/post/17508286191/week-2</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["a blog post by Tag Savage [http://sexpigeon.org/post/16729718345/path-puts-a-silly-amount-of-trust-in-its-avatars ] about Path’s user interface choices in their app. Central tennent: if a place is too pristine and planned, it can’t be colonized. Tag’s words:

"Path is pretty in the same designy way as our modern museums. […] These museums are very exciting when they open. You show up and marvel along with all of the other fans of architecture. Maybe you return for one of those nights where they stay open late and there is a band and drinking. “A great space,” you think. […] The art doesn’t get talked about so much at these museums."

Path is a monument to Path. It is no place to scribble in. I wish it longevity so that it might find shabbiness.

A tricky balance, to be sure, but one that must be navigated if a product is dependant on user’s content. Part of the product must be left undone to provide the opening for the user to contribute."
]]></description>
<dc:subject>pristineness usefulness architecture ownership space place museums over-planning planning tagsavage frankchimero wabi-sabi comfort approachability shabbiness 2012 colonization path</dc:subject>
<dc:identifier>https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/b:50390453dbef/</dc:identifier>
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	<rdf:li rdf:resource="https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/t:2012"/>
	<rdf:li rdf:resource="https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/t:colonization"/>
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</item>
<item rdf:about="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/800798301/realizing-empathy-an-inquiry-into-the-meaning-of-m">
    <title>Realizing Empathy: An Inquiry into the Meaning of Making by Slim — Kickstarter</title>
    <dc:date>2012-02-05T03:19:47+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/800798301/realizing-empathy-an-inquiry-into-the-meaning-of-m</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["At the heart of it is an inquiry into the meaning of making. I am deeply interested in how making works (as a process), what it means (to make something), and why it matters (to our lives).

One of the central theme is the relationship between the act of empathizing with the act of making…

The second theme is exploring how we can design a space that facilitates the act of making, especially in the digital space…

The book is structured around a number of stories that talk about the humbling experiences I've had in art school. These are experiences that have lead to epiphanies, which changed my understanding of what it means to make something. 

In response to these experiences are conversations I've had with an interdisciplinary group of friends (an animator, a programmer, a neuroscientist, a human-computer interaction researcher, and a theologian) about these epiphanies. 

Weaving together the stories and conversations are both reflective and analytic essays that model…"
]]></description>
<dc:subject>integrity honesty acting knowledge workspace space metaphors trust courage comfort computers computing safety technology seungchanlim perspective risktaking risk dignity humility meaningmaking meaning scale_slim tools howwework openstudioproject making empathy design 2012 language workspaces</dc:subject>
<dc:identifier>https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/b:807228a42791/</dc:identifier>
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</item>
<item rdf:about="http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/29/fashion/men-shop-in-bulk.html?pagewanted=all">
    <title>Men Shop in Bulk - NYTimes.com</title>
    <dc:date>2011-12-30T18:50:06+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/29/fashion/men-shop-in-bulk.html?pagewanted=all</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["WOMEN shop, men stockpile. That’s one theory, anyway, of how men buy clothes differently from women. If women see shopping as an opportunity, a social or even therapeutic activity, the thinking goes, then men see it as a necessary evil, a moment to restock the supply closet.

At the risk of perpetuating sex stereotypes, the archetype may have been Steve Jobs. When Mr. Jobs died in October, he left behind not only a peerless legacy, but a closet full of identical black cotton turtlenecks by Issey Miyake. “If he loved a shirt, he’d order 10 or 100 of them,” his sister, the author Mona Simpson, said in her eulogy.

It was an obsession that many men could relate to. Here, stylish New Yorkers reflect on their wardrobe hoarding."

[via http://kottke.org/11/12/the-men-who-shop-in-bulk ]]]></description>
<dc:subject>2011 comfort habits harrybelafonte marcussamuelsson clothesshopping clothing apparel fashion scottcampbell paulsevigny paulbirardi billyreid christopherbollen jonathangalassi gabeschulman gregfoley ianbradley fabienbaron chuckclose michaelwilliams graydoncarter uniforms personaluniforms stockpiling cv shopping women men gender pesonaluniforms uniform</dc:subject>
<dc:identifier>https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/b:6ccbfd96e55b/</dc:identifier>
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</item>
<item rdf:about="http://www.theatlantic.com/personal/archive/2011/11/the-time-machine/247516/">
    <title>The Time Machine - Ta-Nehisi Coates - Personal - The Atlantic</title>
    <dc:date>2011-11-12T21:02:00+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://www.theatlantic.com/personal/archive/2011/11/the-time-machine/247516/</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["The train, in all aspects, was a superior experience. The first thing was the feeling of everything melting away, of someone else taking control. When flying there are generally so many rules to be obeyed, and times when specific things can happen that I generally feel like, as a passenger, I'm actually a co-pilot. Lights tell you when you can and can't move. Announcements indicate (because I use a lap-top and iPad) when it's safe to read, write or listen to your music. Food and drink are administered at precise times. All of this within a confined space.

But there was a freedom on the train that you may need to be taller than six feet to really understand. You could walk as you needed to. You could sit in the cafe car and watch the scenery. You could fall into your book. Or you could just sleep, something I can't really do on airplanes. 

Finally there is the fact that, as much as possible, I should avoid supporting airline travel in its current American iteration…"

[See also: http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2011/09/when-you-buy-a-plane-ticket-the-terrorists-win/245009/ ]]]></description>
<dc:subject>ta-nehisicoates flight us tsa trains amtrak privacy comfort stress 2011 travel policy convenience</dc:subject>
<dc:identifier>https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/b:a376fdaf61dd/</dc:identifier>
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</rdf:Bag></taxo:topics>
</item>
<item rdf:about="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMFblowNjXc">
    <title>Diversity Lecture: Ta-Nehisi Coates - YouTube</title>
    <dc:date>2011-11-12T20:55:30+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMFblowNjXc</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["As part of our Bob and Aliecia Woodrick Diversity Learning Center Diversity Lecture Series, Grand Rapids Community College presents Ta-Nehisi Coates speaking on "A Deeper Black: The Meaning of Race in the Age of Obama.""
]]></description>
<dc:subject>ta-nehisicoates civilwar 2011 martinlutherkingjr race barackobama identity dropouts learning education observation obsession blackhistory us abrahamlincoln slavery history africanamerican truth hemingway huckleberryfinn marktwain malcolmx acceptance understanding safety incarceration society bodyscanners airports convenience inconvenience comfort self-esteem justice challenge segregation success progress policy politics desegregation parenting books homeenvironment reading curiosity exposure youth adolescence teens adults moralauthority wisdom mlk ernesthemingway</dc:subject>
<dc:identifier>https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/b:057e7d063984/</dc:identifier>
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</item>
<item rdf:about="http://roadtripnation.com/">
    <title>Roadtrip Nation: Define your own road in life! - Roadtrip Nation</title>
    <dc:date>2011-04-04T03:34:51+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://roadtripnation.com/</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["The Manifesto: Before we embarked on our first Roadtrip, we were feeling The Noise and pressure around us to conform. Our Manifesto keeps us true to the original principles that started us on this journey.<br />
Our History: Imagine telling people you were going to travel across the country in a bright green RV to learn how people defined their own lives. You can imagine the reactions – but we knew we needed to find our Open Road. Here’s our story.<br />
Education: Extending the Movement into education, we started a nonprofit, RoadtripNation.org. Our curriculum empowers students to get out into their communities and connect what they learn to their real world."]]></description>
<dc:subject>roadtrip roadtripnation education comfort comfortzone mobile mobileschools place location community via:cervus</dc:subject>
<dc:identifier>https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/b:a078e7eb8f0a/</dc:identifier>
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<item rdf:about="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/26/opinion/26gradstudents.html?pagewanted=all">
    <title>Op-Ed Contributors - Ditch Your Laptop, Dump Your Boyfriend - NYTimes.com</title>
    <dc:date>2010-09-26T19:19:33+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/26/opinion/26gradstudents.html?pagewanted=all</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Somewhere in your childhood is a gaping hole. Fill this hole…best things I did in college all involved explorations"

"Remember to take some time away from campus"

"When you leave your room for class, leave laptop behind. In a lecture, you’ll only waste your time & parents’ money, disrespect professor & annoy whomever is trying to pay attention…by spending the hour on Facebook.

You don’t need a computer to take notes—good note-taking is not transcribing. All that clack, clack, clacking…you’re a student, not a court reporter. And in seminar or discussion sections, get used to being around a table with a dozen other humans, a few books & your ideas. After all, you have the rest of your life to hide behind a screen during meetings."

"when my drawing teacher invited several of us students to dinner at her house, I was still worried that I was out of my league. But in this casual setting, everyone opened up, & I was able to talk about art in the most relaxed & personal way."]]></description>
<dc:subject>education learning teaching advice wisdom off-campus exploration colleges universities self identity attention technology distraction seminars tcsnmy lcproject casual intimacy comfort safety reality notetaking</dc:subject>
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	<rdf:li rdf:resource="https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/t:reality"/>
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</item>
<item rdf:about="http://gizmodo.com/5483990/cellphones-become-our-comfort-objects-during-disaster">
    <title>Cellphones Become Our Comfort Objects During Disaster</title>
    <dc:date>2010-08-02T02:21:29+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://gizmodo.com/5483990/cellphones-become-our-comfort-objects-during-disaster</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["Two days after a 8.8 magnitude earthquake displaced them from their homes and separated them from dear ones, people gathered at a fire-station in Concepcion, Chile to charge their cellphones—their comfort objects during this disaster.

Chile was becoming a trending topic on Twitter before even the fastest newscasters got a chance to talk about Saturday's earthquake, thanks to many hastily posted Tweets—most of which likely came from mobile devices. Tweets, text messages, emails, calls, voicemails—everything flew across the networks, draining phones and granting people some comfort and peace. Just hearing a familiar voice or reading words of assurance—knowing that your mobile device links you to the world, to family, and to much needed aid—makes one heck of a difference.

We need food. We need medication. We need a hand to pull us out of the rubble. But we also need a little gadget that lets us cry out to the world so that everyone else has a chance to tell us that it'll be ok."]]></description>
<dc:subject>chile earthquakes disasters mobile phones emergency trust twitter comfort 2010 via:jbleecker</dc:subject>
<dc:identifier>https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/b:d1e9140b69f2/</dc:identifier>
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<item rdf:about="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drrossgreene/2010/02/01/collaborative-problem-solving-at-school">
    <title>Alfie Kohn Interview 2/1/2010 - Dr. Ross Greene2 | Internet Radio | Blog Talk Radio</title>
    <dc:date>2010-07-02T03:53:47+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drrossgreene/2010/02/01/collaborative-problem-solving-at-school</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["In this program, Dr. Greene had the pleasure of talking with Alfie Kohn, author of Punished by Rewards, Beyond Discipline, and many other critical books. This was a fun and enlightening discussion about a variety of school-related topics, including school discipline, socially healthy classrooms, high-stakes testing...the whole gamut."

[via: http://twitter.com/joe_bower/status/17543978978 quoting "When you put autonomy and community together you get democracy."]
]]></description>
<dc:subject>autonomy topost democracy community alfiekohn education progresive tcsnmy discipline schools teaching learning structure responsiveclassroom responsibility trust democratic progressive interviews hierarchy management leadership administration coercion learningcommunities compliance compulsory authority timeouts punishment classroommanagement classroom safety comfort care culture ethics citizenship caringcommunities caring classrooms</dc:subject>
<dc:identifier>https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/b:361744c7de7f/</dc:identifier>
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    <title>Do blog - Why we put things off</title>
    <dc:date>2010-06-13T22:56:50+00:00</dc:date>
    <link>http://doblog.tumblr.com/post/695027733/why-we-put-things-off-1-change-is-difficult</link>
    <dc:creator>robertogreco</dc:creator><description><![CDATA["1. Change is difficult for us. Staying as we are is often easier.]]></description>
<dc:subject>change doblog comfort procrastination sacrifice uncertainty tcsnmy glvo scale intimidation action excuses discipline failure success risk risktaking rewards</dc:subject>
<dc:identifier>https://pinboard.in/u:robertogreco/b:972c98c18240/</dc:identifier>
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