Pinboard (earth2marsh) https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/public/ recent bookmarks from earth2marsh The system is shaping your team more than you are 2026-05-25T19:23:16+00:00 https://www.modernleader.is/p/managing-systems earth2marshYou don’t need a huge overhaul to get there. Most of the impact comes from a few small, steady adjustments: Make ownership explicit instead of implied. Share the context you wish someone had shared with you. Trace friction to its source instead of reacting to the surface-level moment. Tighten the decision-making loop so ideas don’t float into the void. Treat repeating patterns as architecture problems, not one-offs. Ask the question at the top of your mind, even if it feels like a dumb question. It's probably not.]]> systems thinking organizations noticing advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:e7cdd8290892/ Try Hard, Learn a Lot, Be Kind 2026-04-05T17:48:44+00:00 https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/try-hard-learn-lot-kind-omar-shahine-gn9vc earth2marsh"Try Hard, Learn a lot, Be Kind."
Be kind. The most important one. And I learned it the hardest way. I wasn't kind when I started at Microsoft. It took me a long time to understand that being right was not the way to win. Being right is the opposite of having a growth mindset. Plato had this idea that knowledge is the process of disrupting what you already know. If what you're learning reinforces what you already believe, you're not learning. That's a scary thought. It challenges what you hold to be true.
]]> productmanagement leadership career advice Microsoft https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:7999eb79c758/ I asked my father-in-law what the secret to his 50-year marriage was and he said four words — and the more I live, the more I realize those four words contain everything the entire self-help industry has been trying to say - Silicon Canals 2026-03-02T05:07:16+00:00 https://siliconcanals.com/k-t-i-asked-my-father-in-law-what-the-secret-to-his-50-year-marriage-was-and-he-said-four-words-and-the-more-i-live-the-more-i-realize-those-four-words-contain-everything-the-entire-self-help-indust/ earth2marshBut here’s what I’ve learned: being right is probably the most destructive addiction nobody talks about. Think about your last argument with someone you care about. Was it really about the dishes left in the sink or whose turn it was to call the plumber? Or was it about being right? When you need to be right, you’re not really listening to the other person. You’re just waiting for your turn to talk, gathering ammunition for your rebuttal. You’re not curious about their perspective; you’re defending your fortress. But when you let go of being right, something magical happens. You start actually hearing people. You become curious instead of defensive. You ask questions like “Help me understand your thinking” instead of immediately explaining why they’re wrong. When your partner does something differently than you would, ask yourself: “Will this matter in a year? In a month? Tomorrow?” Most of the time, the answer is no. Practice saying these phrases: – “I hadn’t thought of it that way” – “You might be right” – “I can see your point” – “Help me understand” They feel weird at first. Your ego will resist. But push through, because on the other side of that discomfort is freedom. The freedom to not carry the exhausting burden of always needing to defend your position. The freedom to actually enjoy conversations instead of winning them. The freedom to be surprised, to learn, to grow]]> partnering advice relationships right zen ego https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:749b05014e23/ This to That (Glue Advice) 2025-11-10T18:52:15+00:00 https://www.thistothat.com/ earth2marshglue materials adhesive diy advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:d78653c0bbb9/ How to Be Polite. Most people don’t notice I’m polite… | by Paul Ford | Medium 2025-07-25T21:42:31+00:00 https://archive.ph/2024.12.17-085416/https://ftrain.medium.com/how-to-be-polite-9bf1e69e888c earth2marshWhen you are at a party and are thrust into conversation with someone, see how long you can hold off before talking about what they do for a living. And when that painful lull arrives, be the master of it. I have come to revel in that agonizing first pause, because I know that I can push a conversation through. Just ask the other person what they do, and right after they tell you, say: “Wow. That sounds hard.” Because nearly everyone in the world believes their job to be difficult. I once went to a party and met a very beautiful woman whose job was to help celebrities wear Harry Winston jewelry. I could tell that she was disappointed to be introduced to this rumpled giant in an off-brand shirt, but when I told her that her job sounded difficult to me she brightened and spoke for 30 straight minutes about sapphires and Jessica Simpson. She kept touching me as she talked. I forgave her for that. I didn’t reveal a single detail about myself, including my name. Eventually someone pulled me back into the party. The celebrity jewelry coordinator smiled and grabbed my hand and said, “I like you!” She seemed so relieved to have unburdened herself. I counted it as a great accomplishment. Maybe a hundred times since I’ve said, “wow, that sounds hard” to a stranger, always to great effect. I stay home with my kids and have no life left to me, so take this party trick, my gift to you.]]> conversation tips questions advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:920f8cb7aea5/ Code of Conduct 2025-07-18T20:54:31+00:00 https://www.improbableisland.com/coc.php earth2marshHere is the Code of Conduct for Improbable Island. There are four rules - be kind to others, be kind to yourself, be kind to the game, and be kind to the staff. Each rule has explanations and detail added, but these are only for clarity - whether specifics are spelled out or not, we make our decisions based on the spirit of the rules rather than the letter. The following enormous wall of text describes the Island's culture as it stands in November 2020, and represents our attempt to preserve its current healthy state. Get a cup of tea and make sure you're well hydrated, because this is a long read.]]> community code conduct coc communities examples advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:c8c86ba23913/ (1) Kit Whitfield - fantasy author: "Nice people are struggling over the revelations on Gaiman, and something I keep hearing is, 'His work had a big influence on how I shaped my own identity.' So here's something to remember: You did that. He didn't do it 2025-01-14T01:23:44+00:00 https://bsky.app/profile/kitwhitfield.bsky.social/post/3lfne36eyec2v earth2marshNice people are struggling over the revelations on Gaiman, and something I keep hearing is, 'His work had a big influence on how I shaped my own identity.' So here's something to remember: You did that. He didn't do it for you]]> art culture failures heroes conflict advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:41794d34dcf4/ (21) Post | Feed | LinkedIn 2024-12-30T23:02:46+00:00 https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7112525379088646144/ earth2marsh Caroline A. Wanga - Listen to this tiny snippet of our conversation where Caroline shared her 3 pieces of hard-won advice for other women out there: 1. Pursue your purpose 2. Be your authentic self - change the where not the who 3. Change your relationship with failure]]> advice failure resilience purpose videos https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:24c9281af160/ Rules for standards-makers 2024-11-25T04:57:55+00:00 https://this.how/standards/ earth2marshI've used all kinds of formats and protocols in a long career as a software developer.# I also have created a few, and have had to fight to keep them independent and unowned, with varying degrees of success. This set of rules represents what I've learned.# If we work together on a project based on open tech, these are the principles I will try to stick to. I wanted to put all this in one place, so I can pass it along to future software developers. #]]> standards advice principles https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:4fce05659f4b/ Calvin and Hobbes at Martijn's - Bill Watterson 2024-10-24T20:31:22+00:00 https://web.mit.edu/jmorzins/www/C-H-speech.html earth2marshWe're not really taught how to recreate constructively. We need to do more than find diversions; we need to restore and expand ourselves. Our idea of relaxing is all too often to plop down in front of the television set and let its pandering idiocy liquefy our brains. Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery-it recharges by running. You may be surprised to find how quickly daily routine and the demands of "just getting by: absorb your waking hours. You may be surprised matters of habit rather than thought and inquiry. You may be surprised to find how quickly you start to see your life in terms of other people's expectations rather than issues. You may be surprised to find out how quickly reading a good book sounds like a luxury.]]> advice life motivation speech comics commencement https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:0c5ad68442bb/ The tough reality of being a "glue person" 2024-10-24T19:50:40+00:00 https://www.linkedin.com/posts/johnpcutler_the-tough-reality-of-being-a-glue-person-activity-7253086576547635200-nt_B/ earth2marshThe tough reality of being a "glue person": 1. Your wins are (mostly) silent. Your missteps are very public 2. Glue sits at the joints. Joints are where the stress is 3. You see more than most people—which is draining 4. You see more than most...which is politically sensitive 5. Leaders/managers often resent the need for glue people 6. Your title and job history "looks weird" 7. People compete for your advocacy 8. Your flexibility/adaptability is an achilles heel 9. Sometimes you *do* become the blocker (unintentionally) 10. When times get tough... Which is all to say: take care of yourself! It is not easy. Whenever possible, try small experiments to counter each of the points above. 1. Call out your wins 2. Lots of self-care 3. Find ways to compartmentalize 4. Master a poker face 5. Build strong relationships to soften the threat 6. Pick another title (chances are people will let you, lol) 7. Clear boundaries 8. Allow yourself to be stubborn on some things! Be *less* flexible sometimes 9. Find an accountability partner 10. Always be applying (which seems weird for many glue people who have strong emotional attachment with the current gig)]]> glue roles work john_cutler advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:5f05da72f298/ It’s Time to Fight for a Dual Product Management Career Path | Ken Norton 2024-07-25T23:05:59+00:00 https://www.bringthedonuts.com/essays/dual-product-management-career-path/ earth2marshCompanies should embrace multitrack job ladders for product managers who prefer product leadership to people management]]> productmanagement ladder career advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:13f5726249c0/ The Two Laws Of Startup Physics 2024-07-19T06:00:06+00:00 https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/two-laws-startup-physics-eric-paley-ekzxe earth2marshIf you lack confidence in the ROI of your investments, the best thing to do is pause and experiment with a new thesis – as inexpensively as possible. A pause might negatively impact your relationship with investors and your team. However, to win you must ensure your team invests capital wisely to create long-term intrinsic value. It is better to slow things down and reorient towards sustainable growth instead of pursuing an agenda that relies more on luck than logic.]]> programming business startups advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:289a1fb80a43/ Traits of Founding Teams That Win — An IT VC’s perspective | by CLEAR Ventures | Medium 2024-07-19T05:54:04+00:00 https://medium.com/@clear.ventures/traits-of-founding-teams-that-win-an-it-vcs-perspective-86185c261281 earth2marshfranchise companies, the durable winners that really mattered, needed a confluence of factors to align: High growth emerging market or large market that is ripe for disruption. Strong team with a compelling vision worth fighting for…as a tangible asset. A compelling product as an engine of a virtuous growth cycle. via Tim]]> startups teams venture advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:2156ff7fe39f/ Are You Doing Product Management or Bullshit Management? | by David Pereira | Serious Scrum | Apr, 2022 | Medium 2024-07-19T05:46:20+00:00 https://archive.ph/2022.05.19-112601/https://medium.com/serious-scrum/are-you-doing-product-management-or-bullshit-management-3055e875eb69 earth2marshStakeholders will push for prescriptive plans and commitment to deadlines. Don’t fall into this trap. No plan will survive contact with end-users. Instead of creating a plan, make an assumptions list of what must happen for your idea to fly. Find fast ways of validating your assumptions. The faster you learn, the sooner you succeed. Solid product management has little to do with plans. Don’t focus on plans; put your energy into defining where to land and your first step towards it. You don’t need anything beyond that to start. After that, adapt your actions according to your learnings. Here are some signs you’re focused on learning instead of planning: Your Product Backlog is lean, with no more than a couple of months of work. You delete items from your Product Backlog because they don’t relate to your learnings. You discontinue features because they prove to create no or unsatisfactory value.]]> productivity learning planning advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:4b37cbb09cdf/ Excuse me, is there a problem? 2024-07-19T05:23:57+00:00 https://longform.asmartbear.com/problem/ earth2marshEvaluating startup viability This path of “problem” to “business model” is not the only factor that determines success. There are still questions like whether you can reach customers, get their attention in the noisy Internet and competitive space, can you do that cost-effectively, are company costs too high, do you have the skills, can you hire for skills, do you have enough time and money to do it, and so on. Still, we can evaluate the viability of this path with the following model. We’ll use Fermi Estimation to avoid the analysis-paralysis of deep research and arguing over details.]]> advice startups business productmanagement models pricing demand viability https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:667d30cd0696/ Ken Burns, H’24 Keynote Address to Brandeis University's 2024 Graduates - YouTube 2024-06-03T23:53:53+00:00 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9n1OqPzIKH4 earth2marshKen Burns, H’24 delivered the keynote address to the 2024 undergraduate class during the 73rd Commencement Exercises. https://alumni.brandeis.edu/news/2024/commencement/transcripts/ken-burns-remarks.html]]> videos commencement advice inspiration https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:698fcac59ee0/ Make decisions to defuse online conflict - Uploop DX 2024-05-07T21:13:49+00:00 https://www.uploop.dev/blog/make-decisions-to-defuse-online-conflict earth2marsh“This space exists to enhance this project, and our effectiveness with it” is a purpose. Know it, name it, shout it from the rooftops with your team and beyond. With purpose defined and socialized, it’s easy to intervene and redirect when folks are doing things which get in the way of that stated purpose. Make agreement with that purpose an explicit condition of entry and participation.]]> community policies advice tips conflict https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:70f5455cc344/ The Munger Operating System: A Life That Works 2024-03-17T18:47:19+00:00 https://fs.blog/munger-operating-system/ earth2marshI watched the brilliant Harvard Law School trained general counsel of Salomon lose his career, and what he did was when the CEO became aware that some underling had done something wrong, the general counsel said, “Gee, we don’t have any legal duty to report this but I think it’s what we should do it’s our moral duty.” Of course, the general counsel was totally correct but of course it didn’t work; it was a very unpleasant thing for the CEO to do and he put it off and put if off and of course everything eroded into a major scandal and down went the CEO and the general counsel with him. The correct answer in situations like that was given by Ben Franklin, he said, “If you want to persuade, appeal to interest not to reason.” The self serving bias is so extreme. If the general counsel had said, “Look this is going to erupt, it’s something that will destroy you, take away your money, take away your status…it’s a perfect disaster,” it would have worked!]]> life advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:24a2a6b79f5e/ Billy Smith: "@jrconlin@soc.jrconlin.com @nirak@carhenge.club @…" - social.coop 2023-12-29T18:49:42+00:00 https://social.coop/@BillySmith/111665065247239060 earth2marsh startups stocks shareholders financial advice https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:907406fdcedb/ Eldercare, Family Caretaking, and End-of-life Logistics: Stuff I Learned | Cogito, Ergo Sumana 2023-11-13T23:44:11+00:00 https://www.harihareswara.net/posts/2023/eldercare-family-caretaking-end-of-life-logistics-learned/ earth2marshMy mother died recently, after a long decline in her health, and I was one of the main people who helped take care of her. (Here’s her obituary.) While caring for her, preparing for her death, and handling logistics afterwards, I learned a lot from online resources, various professionals, and friends. So I'm trying to pass on some things I learned by sharing them in this blog post.]]> advice death hospice life https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:d050b720fc1f/ 19 Strategies for Navigating the College Search and Surviving Campus Life with Celiac Disease - Good For You Gluten Free 2023-10-30T17:26:48+00:00 https://www.goodforyouglutenfree.com/navigating-college-with-celiac-disease/ earth2marsh celiac colleges universities advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:8df06f848329/ The Looking Glass: What company politics actually is | by Julie Zhuo | Oct, 2023 | Medium 2023-10-26T21:50:41+00:00 https://joulee.medium.com/the-looking-glass-what-company-politics-actually-is-d3b9158a87e8 earth2marshSo instead of thinking “Which one of us is going to defeat the other?” let’s tweak the question just a bit. How about: “Which of our positions is most likely to help our company win?” That sounds less threatening, doesn’t it? After all, we both want to help our company win. Let’s take it one step further with another tweak: “What unique knowledge do we each have that will help our company win?”]]> productmanagement company politics tactics advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:f5b6fb7fb65e/ The First-Time Founder’s Guide to Learning Everything the Hard Way 2023-10-14T01:28:43+00:00 https://review.firstround.com/the-first-time-founders-guide-to-learning-everything-the-hard-way earth2marsh startups productmanagement founders advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:55469bd48652/ 7 Tactics to Get the Most Out of Your Startup's Advisors 2023-10-14T01:17:30+00:00 https://review.firstround.com/Get-the-Most-Out-of-Your-Startups-Advisors-with-These-7-Tactics earth2marshGive them a couple tough scenarios that could happen to your company. How would they help you navigate them? Be transparent and tell them about a real concern you have about your business. Ask them what they would do if it became a reality. Ask them about their previous advising experience. What worked best for them? What didn’t work? How do they think they have evolved as an advisor as a result?]]> advisors startups productmanagement advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:131c6bfd2b36/ The Power of the Elastic Product Team — Airbnb’s First PM on How to Build Your Own 2023-10-14T00:51:41+00:00 https://review.firstround.com/the-power-of-the-elastic-product-team-airbnbs-first-pm-on-how-to-build-your-own earth2marshHire These 3 Types of PMs — You’ll Need Them All While building modular product teams, startups also need to staff for their stage. When you’re pushing toward product/market fit, you’ll need a very different “type” of PM than when you’re scaling or, later, when you achieve scale and move on to platform initiatives. Each of those key stages is best tackled by one of three archetypal product managers (a perennially useful framework ... then gives a version of pioneers, settlers, town planners]]> productmanagement hiring types advice teams https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:5bb4fe33ee30/ CaptainAwkward.com – Don't need to be cool to be kind. 2023-09-06T00:52:14+00:00 https://captainawkward.com/ earth2marshadvice writing social https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:6f8c54b90412/ The Dao of Using Your Smartphone | THR Web Features | Web Features | The Hedgehog Review 2023-09-06T00:42:09+00:00 https://hedgehogreview.com/web-features/thr/posts/the-dao-of-using-your-smartphone earth2marshBy approaching technology with ritual, you don’t fall into the Luddite trap of seeing technology as a negative force that must be fought or limited. The problem is not with technology in itself. It never has been. Rather, as society changes, new forms of life emerge that need to be enchanted through new rituals. They are invented as means to ends, and it is up to us to transform them into ends in themselves. Modeling this approach is important not only for ourselves, but also our children. Tools and strategies for limiting children’s screentime transform technology into a forbidden fruit, and we don’t need religious myths to tell us what happens when we forbid a temptation. Seeking to limit new forms of technology, especially in the next generation, only sets up unhealthy relationships, not only between children and the technology itself, but also between them and the adults attempting to restrict them.]]> technology advice life parenting modeling balance https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:b8ebd24838c7/ The Product-Minded Software Engineer - The Pragmatic Engineer 2023-09-06T00:32:21+00:00 https://blog.pragmaticengineer.com/the-product-minded-engineer/ earth2marshProduct-minded engineers are developers with lots of interest in the product itself. They want to understand why decisions are made, how people use the product, and love to be involved in making product decisions. They're someone who would likely make a good product manager if they ever decide to give up the joy of engineering. I've worked with many great product-minded engineers and consider myself to be this kind of developer. At companies building world-class products, product-minded engineers take teams to a new level of impact. ]]> engineering product productmanagement career advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:f4ae670d85b6/ Staring into the abyss as a core life skill | benkuhn.net 2023-09-06T00:22:38+00:00 https://www.benkuhn.net/abyss/#fn:1 earth2marshRecently I’ve been thinking about how all my favorite people are great at a skill I’ve labeled in my head as “staring into the abyss.”1 Staring into the abyss means thinking reasonably about things that are uncomfortable to contemplate, like arguments against your religious beliefs, or in favor of breaking up with your partner. It’s common to procrastinate on thinking hard about these things because it might require you to acknowledge that you were very wrong about something in the past, and perhaps wasted a bunch of time based on that (e.g. dating the wrong person or praying to the wrong god). However, in most cases you have to either admit this eventually or, if you never admit it, lock yourself into a sub-optimal future life trajectory, so it’s best to be impatient and stare directly into the uncomfortable topic until you’ve figured out what to do.
My hope with this essay is to convince you to stare into the abyss a bit more. To help with that, I’ll close with some uncomfortable but hopefully productive questions: If you had to leave your job today, what would you do instead? What’s the best argument in favor of doing that right now? If you have a partner, what’s the best argument in favor of breaking up with them? Are there ways you behave that you wish you didn’t? What unacknowledged desires could be driving those? What have you said “yes” to that you wouldn’t say “hell yes” to? (prompted by Alex Watt) Is there something you “should” do that you’re not currently doing? Why? (prompted by Silas Strawn) What bad things are you afraid of happening? Imagine in detail what it would be like if they happened. (prompted by Kamilé Lukosiute) What do you need that you’re not currently getting? (—David MacIver) What are you avoiding because it conflicts with some part of your identity / self-image? (—Nicholas Schiefer; more at link) “What is the biggest thing in your life that you just kinda casually fell into and would you have made a conscious decision to do it if you’d known in advance everything you know now?” (—@GeniesLoki; hundreds more at link)
]]> productmanagement abyss purpose inspiration advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:4cc51e2d192d/ Be Sincere—Not Serious - Expanding Awareness - Every 2023-08-08T01:30:49+00:00 https://every.to/expanding-awareness/be-sincere-not-serious earth2marshIf you are having trouble with the word “game," try substituting the metaphor of life as a game (or amusement park ride) with life as a dance. Again, Watts got there first, when he said: “We thought of life by analogy with a journey, a pilgrimage, which had a serious purpose at the end, and the thing was to get to that end, success or whatever it is, maybe heaven after you’re dead. But we missed the point the whole way along. It was a musical thing, and you were supposed to sing or to dance while the music was being played.” Think about what qualities a dance would take on if you were to approach it with seriousness. What would your body feel like? How much would you enjoy it? How fluidly would you move, and how responsive would you be to your partner, the music, and the crowd around you? As with the board game, it might be easier to see the difference in approach by thinking about who you’d want to dance with: a partner who is serious versus sincere. Would you prefer a dance partner who has a strong attachment to doing it perfectly and “winning,” or one with the capacity to flow with the music and the movement?  You might be thinking: isn’t it important to focus on getting good at things and doing them right? Does letting go of what I’m calling seriousness imply letting go of standards and striving to achieve difficult things?  It doesn’t—because all of that is still possible through sincerity. The difference between seriousness and sincerity is not how involved you are in the activities of your life, but in how tightly you grip.
Imagine you're playing a board game with someone who takes the game too seriously. In trying to win or follow the rules to the letter, some people seem to forget that it is, ultimately, just a game that will end, with life going on regardless of the outcome. When I play games too seriously, I don’t have much fun, and later, once the game is over, I worry that I ruined the fun for others. Being serious turns the game into a drag. Even if I technically “win,” it doesn’t feel that way in the end. Consider the alternative stance, one in which you never lose awareness of the fact that it's just a game. This doesn't mean you can't be fully involved in the game itself, playing to the best of your ability and aiming for a particular outcome. That’s what it means to play sincerely—to be engrossed in the experience of the game without taking it too seriously. In my experience, that approach is a lot more fun for everyone involved.
]]> life advice seriousness games sincerity https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:9636ec3bc5ce/ I Don't Know How I'm Doing - Ijeoma Oluo: Behind the Book 2023-07-14T15:20:49+00:00 https://ijeomaoluo.substack.com/p/i-dont-know-how-im-doing earth2marsh We’ve now been in Paris for 10 days and our days have mostly looked quiet, even idyllic. I don’t have any work deadlines. We’re staying in a loft apartment filled with art. We’ve wandered the city, grabbed fresh pastries every morning, had late-night drinks with friends, taken naps, eaten a bunch of delicious food. It’s almost like we’re in a movie about visiting France. But internally - in this terrifying amusement park of a brain of mine - a lot has been happening. A huge goal of this trip was to figure out what life is like for my partner and I in a new space. This is part of our long-term prep for whenever the kiddo decides to move on to his adult adventures in a few years. This is a space of adulthood that I’ve never had, I was 19 when I became pregnant with my eldest child. I’ve been a mom for my entire adult life. When my oldest went off to college in 2020 my partner said that he had never seen me look as sad as I did that day. And pretty much everyone who knew me well hinted that I might want to do some mental preparation for when my youngest moved out. And as we get closer to that day - he is going to be entering his sophomore year of high school - I’ve been working on letting him have the freedom he needs to become the young man he wants to be. marsh.gardiner@gmail.com password marsh.gardiner@gmail.com Subscribe This is not easy for me. The last few pandemic years have been very rough on both of my kids, and I’ve worked very hard to help get them through various crises. And while a year or two ago seems like a lifetime ago to a teen, to me it feels like we were in crisis just yesterday and if I take my eyes off of them for a minute, everything will fall apart. I’ve been working on this a lot in therapy. And my teen has been testing that work by being THE MOST TEENAGER of teenager these last few months. I’ve been reciting what I’ve learned in therapy over and over again: What do I know to be true about my kiddo right now? How is today different than in the past? In what ways has my son grown and changed? I’ve been doing pretty good - not great - but I’ve made a lot of progress. This kid has tried some teenage shit that would have had me falling apart last year, but here I am, still holding it together for the most part. He and his best friend came with us for the first week of this trip, before flying back to Atlanta to stay at said friend’s house for a week, and before the kiddo flies home to be with his dad for a few weeks. This will be the longest I have been away from him in his entire life. This will be the longest that I haven’t been responsible for the daily care of a child in over 21 years. Share I’ve been nervous about this and excited at the same time. Can I do it? Can I enjoy my time in Paris without the kids? Can I be present with my partner? Or will I dissolve into a puddle of anxiety? I feel like, in order to make this transition easier, my kiddo tried his best to annoy me as much as possible the week he was here with us. Our very first morning in Paris, I woke up to him yelling down at me through the skylight above our bed - he’d found out how to climb up onto the roof of the apartment building and thought it would be fun to scare the shit out of us at 7am. Pretty much the rest of the week was spent trying to control some of the chaos of two 15 year old boys who both packed harmoniums - sorry, melodicas: much smaller and more annoying - in their suitcases, or trying to deal with their extreme sullenness when we requested that they spend even 5 minutes hanging out with us. “I love them but I can’t wait until they leave,” was a phrase that both my partner and I said at least a few times. But the night before I was sending them on a plane back to the States I was an absolute mess. I’ve never sent my kiddo on an international flight without me. What if it was a rough flight? What if he was scared and I wasn’t there? I was up half the night in a panic while he was sound asleep downstairs. I found myself repeating a truth that I’ve been struggling with for a few years now: “You can’t keep them safe.” marsh.gardiner@gmail.com password marsh.gardiner@gmail.com Subscribe Gawd, that’s the hardest part of parenting. Everything in our bones tells us that we have to keep them safe. That’s like, 80% of the job. And when they are small, squirmy worms that we can literally wrap up and tie to us, that seems doable. Even when they are toddlers trying to jump off of every elevated surface, it seems doable. But as they approach teen years, we realize that we’ve been fooling ourselves. We can’t keep them safe. We can try to teach them how to be more safe. We can try to create safe spaces for them. But if we want them to be happy healthy adults one day, we have to let them find their own way in the world - and that’s terrifying because have you MET a teenager before? They do not make great decisions. In fact, sometimes it seems like they are actively trying to make the worst decisions.]]> parenting teens safety advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:38385abfc293/ Everything Must Be Paid for Twice 2023-06-26T16:59:47+00:00 https://www.raptitude.com/2022/01/everything-must-be-paid-for-twice/ earth2marshThere’s the first price, usually paid in dollars, just to gain possession of the desired thing, whatever it is: a book, a budgeting app, a unicycle, a bundle of kale. But then, in order to make use of the thing, you must also pay a second price. This is the effort and initiative required to gain its benefits, and it can be much higher than the first price. A new novel, for example, might require twenty dollars for its first price—and ten hours of dedicated reading time for its second. Only once the second price is being paid do you see any return on the first one. Paying only the first price is about the same as throwing money in the garbage. [...] The only solution I can think of is to consciously throw the switch the other way: avoid paying any more needless first prices, and set your lifestyle around paying certain second prices, so you can finally enjoy the long-promised prizes waiting in your bookshelf, storage room, and hard drive. This was my original intuition behind the Depth Year concept—to designate a whole year in which you stop acquiring more ways to do cool things, and start doing the cool things in earnest. ]]> advice economics life inspiration time prices costs https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:69c08c789307/ Should management be on your career path? | by Sean Regan | Smells Like Team Spirit | Medium 2023-01-28T01:28:30+00:00 https://medium.com/smells-like-team-spirit/should-management-be-on-your-career-path-a6aa6b7aad0a earth2marshfrom the former head of product marketing at Atlassian to everyone within his team. But it's also great advice, when flipped, for managers. For example, the first point: "1: Managing your career path is your responsibility" - is true for the manager as well. "Managing your reports' career paths is your responsibility, too." Or "9: Get comfortable with being uncomfortable" flipped is "Make it safe for the people on your team to be uncomfortable."]]> management career responsibility advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:ea2b664e415f/ Extreme questions to trigger new, better ideas | A Smart Bear: Longform 2023-01-12T02:29:10+00:00 https://longform.asmartbear.com/posts/extreme-questions/ earth2marshThe following prompts jostle you out of tiny thinking. Each stretches some dimension of reality to an extreme. So extreme that it is nearly nonsense. But dramatically different perspectives can reveal distinctly new ideas. An idea that would be a 60% solution in an extreme hypothetical case, could be a 2x or even a 10x idea in reality. Sometimes the extreme is surprisingly appropriate. Unique business models emerge when at least one dimension is so extreme that it defies critics and competitors to even conceive of its possibility1. A fantastic idea fulfilling the right extreme can be a company’s entire strategy, unlocking a long-term competitive moat. 1 ]]> advice brainstorming creativity productmanagement questions prompts https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:f9027b6bb6b1/ Measuring the Infinite (Ed Batista) 2022-09-13T19:03:19+00:00 https://www.edbatista.com/2012/02/measuring-the-infinite.html earth2marshIn the spirit of those kindred souls Voltaire and George S. Patton, here's one way to measure the infinite: An infinite distance lies between nothing--the unsaid comment, the unwritten letter, the undone act--and something, no matter how much room for improvement remains. In comparison, the distance between that something and perfection is barely noticeable at all. Or as Noah Lomax wrote in response to this post, "The greatest of intentions pale in comparison to the smallest of actions."]]> life advice intentions infinity infinite nothing something philosophy doitnow https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:1b22f89ed94a/ How to Make the Most of Your 24 Hours - zen habits zen habits 2022-07-15T19:52:27+00:00 https://zenhabits.net/transcendent/ earth2marsh advice lists living https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:81ffeb49c73b/ 100 Tips for a Better Life - LessWrong 2022-07-15T19:52:04+00:00 https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/7hFeMWC6Y5eaSixbD/100-tips-for-a-better-life earth2marsh life advice lists tips https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:9d2078ae8bdd/ Hunter S. Thompson's Letter on Finding Your Purpose and Living a Meaningful Life - Farnam Street 2022-06-04T01:29:55+00:00 https://fs.blog/hunter-s-thompson-to-hume-logan/ earth2marsh letter living advice life culture https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:cd5df327ae7b/ This is Water by David Foster Wallace (Full Transcript and Audio) - Farnam Street 2022-06-04T01:29:14+00:00 https://fs.blog/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/ earth2marsh culture advice commencement speech david_foster_wallace philosophy writing thinking https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:8087001981c9/ How People Think · Collaborative Fund 2022-03-24T19:19:42+00:00 https://www.collaborativefund.com/blog/think/ earth2marsh cognition thinking culture trends behavior advice life time https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:3d91aa75e794/ Why I Quit My Engineering Job (at Netflix) | Medium 2022-02-28T18:40:25+00:00 https://medium.com/@_michaellin/why-i-quit-a-450k-engineering-job-at-netflix-874454397885 earth2marsh career advice enjoyment netflix finance https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:17e81f593974/ “Get Off the Floor” and Other Career Advice from Microsoft, Looker, Reddit & Twitter | First Round Review 2021-08-31T17:44:02+00:00 https://review.firstround.com/get-off-the-floor-and-other-career-advice-from-microsoft-looker-reddit-and-twitter earth2marsh interviews productmanagement career advice wisdom https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:4b5e27aa2e5f/ How to Live: 27 conflicting answers and one weird conclusion — MGrev.com 2021-08-27T15:46:36+00:00 https://mgrev.com/recommendations/books/how-to-live/ earth2marsh books life advice living https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:48489419bbc3/ Zettelkasten and the difference between fleeting, literature, and permanent notes. | Better Humans 2021-08-27T01:38:22+00:00 https://betterhumans.pub/zettelkastens-3-note-taking-levels-help-you-harvest-your-thoughts-58326840f969 earth2marsh notes notetaking thinking pkm advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:e5f6bcb3269c/ Early employees should consider early exercise - by Cat Wu - Cat’s Newsletter 2021-08-20T00:31:49+00:00 https://catwu.substack.com/p/early-employees-should-consider-early earth2marsh finance startups exercise money advice equity vesting https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:83de22ecde55/ 9 lessons from my 10+ years working in product (long post) : ProductManagement 2021-08-17T17:17:49+00:00 https://www.reddit.com/r/ProductManagement/comments/p14pzi/9_lessons_from_my_10_years_working_in_product/ earth2marsh productmanagement advice lists https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:ac5fa8a85101/ Are you a giver or a taker? | Adam Grant - YouTube 2021-07-02T21:52:11+00:00 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyXRYgjQXX0 earth2marsh psychology management advice culture givers takers ted videos collaboration helping https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:4294da9da108/ The best questions I ask myself — The Sunday Soother 2021-06-18T15:41:24+00:00 https://www.thesundaysoother.com/home/the-best-questions-i-ask-myself earth2marsh advice philosophy health productivity questions conflict shame life living https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:db9604f73b48/ How to Ask Useful Questions – Josh Kaufman 2021-06-08T00:35:16+00:00 https://joshkaufman.net/how-to-ask-useful-questions/ earth2marsh communication questions advice agreement https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:6b479e8fadd2/ Personal Income Spending Flowchart - United States - Imgur 2021-03-03T02:10:21+00:00 https://imgur.com/lSoUQr2 earth2marsh advice finance money flowchart savings https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:7b00a9e5d1f3/ Ryan Holiday's 33 Favorite Pieces of Advice for Life  | Forge 2020-11-28T20:40:50+00:00 https://forge.medium.com/33-things-i-stole-from-people-smarter-than-me-on-the-way-to-33-c38e368e5cb8 earth2marsh advice life rules excuses https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:d486bf90d6dc/ 50 Ideas That Changed My Life — David Perell 2020-11-28T20:17:52+00:00 https://www.perell.com/blog/50-ideas-that-changed-my-life earth2marsh ideas advice success laws principles life https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:dc6075affa37/ Honest Dating Advice 2020-11-28T17:04:38+00:00 https://amp.reddit.com/r/coolguides/comments/jz215o/honest_dating_advice/ earth2marsh parenting life advice love relationships https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:34974c4e08b3/ Untitled (https://thisistheway.us/) 2020-11-03T18:37:49+00:00 https://thisistheway.us/ earth2marsh advice life parenting principles https://twitter.com/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:abbc61ef110d/ Time to upgrade your monitor @ tonsky.me 2020-10-22T04:48:03+00:00 https://tonsky.me/blog/monitors/ earth2marshdisplay monitor shopping advice hardware https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:9d23fc4a8349/ “Tips My Dad Says” 2020 Edition | Cool Tools 2020-07-14T17:24:51+00:00 https://kk.org/cooltools/tips-my-dad-says-2020-edition/ earth2marsh advice quotes life https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:8289174010a3/ how to write a comment admission essay 2020-05-20T17:33:03+00:00 https://mitadmissions.org/blogs/entry/how-to-write-a-college-essay/ earth2marshcollege education essays advice tips applications writing https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:c6fefcf415da/ The Technium: 68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice 2020-04-29T23:49:44+00:00 https://kk.org/thetechnium/68-bits-of-unsolicited-advice/ earth2marsh advice quotes wisdom kevin_kelly age life lists https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:89b196af230b/ This Week #12: Expanding your business internationally 🌏 - Lenny's Newsletter 2020-02-06T01:20:52+00:00 https://www.lennyrachitsky.com/p/this-week-12-expanding-your-business earth2marsh startups business expansion international advice Questions https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:a63dc605a786/ Mate Selection -The Book of Life 2020-01-30T05:50:20+00:00 https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/mate-selection/ earth2marsh life love romance relationships mating mates insight advice psychology https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:5222ba302456/ Don’t Spend A Fortune Installing Charging For Your New Electric Car 2020-01-19T17:10:16+00:00 https://www.forbes.com/sites/bradtempleton/2019/12/11/dont-spend-a-fortune-installing-charging-for-your-new-electric-car earth2marsh electric car electrician installation power tips advice PHEV electricity charging https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:dd364791a51d/ Which Way Do You Run? - Andreessen Horowitz 2019-12-06T22:50:56+00:00 https://a16z.com/2019/10/17/how-to-be-effective-ceo-leader/ earth2marsh ceo management leadership advice https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:d7af9de1d5c8/ 7 Counterintuitive Rules for Growing Your Business Super-Fast 2019-11-07T17:54:35+00:00 https://marker.medium.com/7-counterintuitive-rules-for-growing-your-business-super-fast-9dcdc2bfc649 earth2marsh business scaling startups reid_hoffman advice risk chaos management https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:b339c3d0d15a/ Where should you put your money if you think the market will crash? 2019-09-17T01:45:19+00:00 https://money.cnn.com/2018/02/14/retirement/retirement-market-crash/index.html earth2marsh finance investing investments money advice markets https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:b7f7489e509d/ (39) Why the best entrepreneurs let fires burn | LinkedIn 2019-09-03T21:05:45+00:00 https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-best-entrepreneurs-let-fires-burn-reid-hoffman/ earth2marsh fires management startups entrepreneurship entrepreneur advice reid_hoffman https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:97fe7b66c34a/ Select An Age - Hey From The Future 2019-08-25T05:23:31+00:00 https://heyfromthefuture.com/age/ earth2marsh aging advice life age future https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:e5a12439d642/ 88 Important Truths I’ve Learned About Life 2019-05-19T16:52:25+00:00 https://www.raptitude.com/2009/07/88-important-truths-ive-learned-about-life/ earth2marsh wisdom life advice rules https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:b835ae82b8fe/ A Career Cold Start Algorithm 2018-03-17T15:22:13+00:00 http://www.google.com/appserve/mkt/p/AIQrb_5n4PX6U8GQjv0Oz8ZM4VhWS96CmXnbqV1WISTuD7QyeBeZVehCt9vSmeWi68SGLKFasTuwwLOdRMNNPJmLN3it3Gw-VdqjzxLVsRkJcvBG earth2marshprofessional career new advice https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:ea77dd4916fa/ Identity Theft, Credit Reports, and You | Kalzumeus Software 2017-09-11T22:48:35+00:00 http://www.kalzumeus.com/2017/09/09/identity-theft-credit-reports/ earth2marsh advice credit finance howto letters disputes https://pinboard.in/ https://pinboard.in/u:earth2marsh/b:4d1f0ecf7c05/